You're done...move on. She flat told you she doesn't think much of you asking a stranger about your friends personal business. I know it's just a line but she doesn't realize that. Also, if she is saying she doesn't use the net to meet people it's her polite way of saying No to you. Rather than you wasting a bunch of time and effort on a girl who doesn't get you it's best to move on.

Hey J - I'm a long time reader, first time replyer from Denmark hoping for your advice on two simple and yet utterly complicated issues:

1) I have lost my "how to write a profile text"-mojo. I used to have success on match and similar places but don't anymore. So do you have any great "how to make your profile smooth"-tips? How long should it be? How cocky? Is there a 'golden profile text' floating around out there for me to copy/paste?

2) For me the opener is always the trickiest. As I am pretty busy I normally have a predefined charming opener, that I more or less just copy/paste - and that seemed to work, but again: Doesn't anymore. So: What is your preferred opener? How much to the differ from girl to girl? If at all?...

Thanks for your help in advance - and for all the great posts on the forum.

If there is such a text of a golden profile out there I do not know of it or would recommend you use it. Keep in mind that stuff like that may work to initially get you the girl but once she realizes you are not that person who wrote that profile and she will things will end very quickly. Stuff like that are short cuts and will only get you so far.

I have written multiple tips on this thread. Multiple pictures are by far the biggest thing. What you are doing in those photos will help a lot back up what your profile says you are like and what you interests are.

Being honest about what you want in a girl, and in a relationship is also very important to put in the profile. If you want to just date put that, if you want sex, or if you want something long term. Being open up front and honest about your intentions are will be a huge step in helping you get the girl.

You want your profile to be more like a short essay about yourself. You want just a few paragraphs. You want your introduction paragraph, a paragraph about yourself, a paragraph about what you are looking for, then a call to action for her to contact you at the end of your profile.

Whether or not you should be cocky in your profile is up to you. I hate to say the old cliche' thing but be yourself. If you are naturally cocky then be that way, if not then don't do it. However, I would definitely come across as confident.

Finally as a personal tip I get a lot of credit for, proof read your profile before posting it, and check it for grammar and spelling errors.
My openers don't differ much from girl to girl. My openers are generally very direct and to the point. I usually give a few compliments and then ask to get to know her better through the site. Either she will or she won't. I tend to be direct because again that is my natural personality to go that way.

I do this to setup to build comfort first as it is my normal procedure. I assume that if she messages me back she is attracted to me based on what I wrote and my pictures. I proceed to build comfort because my next step is to get her # and on a date. By positioning myself to go straight into comfort building for a while I can get her to the point she is okay with going on a date. Once on that date I go back and take care of attraction.

Thanks for the fast reply!

But you can't be just a little more specific - especially regarding question 1?

These are two topics that I could write a whole lot about. Hell, I've damn near written 77 pages of responses on them and I don't expect you to have to go through them all. There is a whole lot that goes into writing a winning profile. Likewise, there is a lot of things to consider with writing your opening lines to girls as well.

Rather than take a ton of time to write a novel on this post that I've already written I have sent you a copy of my Online Dating Blackbook Revision 2 in Private Message. That will give you all my information for the most part on online dating from what sites to use, writing a profile, what pictures to use, and more.

Cheers!

Jon

dssdds

Hey guys,
I need your advice. I am new to this forum and playing online. I am not american and my first language is not english(sorry for my english). I post my profile on POF. I found a 10 girl there. She is so hot and the only thing I found to neg her is her height.(Since I am 6'1 and she is 5'6. ) Although , I didn't expect her to answer me,I sent her a message :
ME :"You are a little short for me. However. I'll give you a try. Tell me more about your self. Where are you from?? "
she replied:
HER :
"
*".I don't believe in beding over backwards and if one has to struggle to explain his/herself...then its NOT meant to be. I am who I am and the way I am. and if you don't like how I am, then move along and have a nice life."*

That is my favorite part of what you wrote, and the reason why is because this is exactly how i think..i own a couple businesses i am from #$@&. and I am a very focused and determined individual dedicated to reaching success in all aspects of my life..including that of finding a "partner". So if someone where to write YOU what you wrote me as an introduction...wouldn't you pass them right along?? or would you say that was a mistake?

Im curious to know your thoughts and more importantly that your comment was a joke.. ..? "


The first paragraph** was copied pasted from my profile.
The funny part is that I don't quiet undertasnad this part :
" So if someone where to write YOU what you wrote me as an introduction...wouldn't you pass them right along?? or would you say that was a mistake?"

Generally,I think she wants to prove herself to me.Since all she says here is what I said about myself in the profile.
I really want to meet and date her.I think my answer is really important right now and I don't know what is the best answer . I know she is in to me and she likes funny cocky men;)
I would really appreciate any help and if it's possible tell me some good replies so that I could impress her. =)
Thanks,
-Alex

Alex,

First, remove your head from your ass and re-read what she said to you man. She is not happy with your message to her. She is saying that if you were in her shoes you'd likely pass you over and go to someone else. This is not in any way a compliment. She doesn't want to prove herself to you, you are reading this all wrong.

The only thing you got going for you here is she responded to you which can be half the battle at times. She has also given you an "excuse" for your message where you can say it was a mistake and can back up and try again.

This girl is not going to be into cocky funny style messages or negs. As a matter of fact you should almost NEVER EVER NEG online. I've written pages about it but mostly because when you try to be cocky funny or neg online it usually backfires. Those things are for in person game not online game. They rely on body language and other things to make them effective. When used online she doesn't understand you are just being playful. She has to take the words as they are written and she reads the stuff and things "great another asshole."

You should be upfront with her and honest with her about the type of relationship for you. You need to back up and start over again being very humble. You need to back up and really be yourself because if you are anything but she isn't going to respond to you again. Stop trying to impress her and just take a deep breath, relax and tell her about you.

Best of luck sir,

Jon

Thanks Jon, I really appreciate it. To be honest, I sent messages to several girls saying that I am intersted in them blah blah...and no answer!
This girl was the hottest and I didn't expect at all to get respond from her. So I wasn't serious and just wanted to be an @ss hole .But surprisingly she responded me.(although I have almost all of the criteria of what she wants as a partner.)
I know , I have to say it was a mistake.However , I don't know what and how I should say(I think " I am sorry . I made a mistake and I am intersted in you....." doesn't work.) I don't have a good exprience of saying sorry to girls and also saying that I am intersted in them.(especially at the beginning)
-Alex

J, I didnt get back to her after that, but suddenly 5 days later she comes up with

Her: so wat do u do for a living ? apart frm messaging ppl on fb ?

What do you thiink?

This might just be what you need. I thought for sure you were done. Don't rule out she still might not meet up with you, but you have an open door to talk to her and build some rapport with her so use it and see what happens. Tell her what you do for a living and ask her questions to further the conversation. Just focus on building comfort and rapport right now instead of attraction. Get her comfortable with you so she keeps an open dialogue then work on Attraction later.

Best of luck,

Jon

Hey J,

I was wondering if you could help me to create an attractive 'about me' to use on Facebook and Plentyoffish. The problem is that I'm not really that great at writing a good profile, describing myself, or adding humour into it. I'm just not a very good writer at all.

A few things I could tell you are:
- I'm 19 years old
- I'm pretty confident, some might say cocky
- I'm a pretty quiet guy most of the time, not shy (I don't know how to mention this in my profile without coming across as being boring or shy, but I think it's important that it is mentioned because some girls seem to love it, while others really hate it)
- I regularly go to the gym lifting weights and thai boxing, which is my biggest passion, and being fit is important to me
- I love my music, and listen to all different kinds
- I'd say I have a pretty good sense of humour, I just don't know how to show it in my writing on my profile, so until a girl gets talking to me properly through messages or IM I probably seem way too serious and sound quite boring, so I don't get many responses

I've tried tweaking my profile many different ways, but I still only get a few responses. I'm also a pretty good looking guy, and I have no stupid pictures with my shirt off or anything. I think the first messages I send are good, since when I do actually get a response I get told I'm funny, and they love it That's why I think just my profile needs some help. Help please?

Can someone give me some feedback on Mr. Smooth here, such as some success stories as a result etc.

Just wondering really, I'm akways a little suspect of searching for advice on an online forum.

Cheers.

Take your pick... I was a professional dating coach for many years and can pass you some references if you truly need it. Do you really think I have over 70 pages of questions and happy people cause I suck? I was given this spot on the forum for my proven advice.

Here are some of my past testimonials from members of this forum and former students.

Phaedra says:

Hi J --

I asked you for advice way back in July; it wasn't on-line related but I liked your thought process/approach so I wrote you. You advised me on how to freeze out a guy who was having trouble deciding between myself and his ex. I just wanted to let you know the freeze out totally worked. I didn't even need to have a "talk" -- he tends to get a lot without having to get into lengthy discussions. Likewise I get him pretty quickly too, I guess that's why we're happy and still together.

So I just wanted to say "Thanks" again, and Happy Holidays!

Zip in New York says:

J, I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You really did an excellent job with this book the Online Dating Blackbook. I'm going to recommend it to my clients who are having trouble with online game.

Zip
Former Moderator of Pick-Up-Artist Forum
Dating Coach NYC

Hxc87x says:

Ahh man.. That ebook is gold! I finished setting up my profile, an hour later I have 3 emails from really hot girls!

Clamenza says:

Hey J, I went with the "you're an attractive girl, but beauty is common, what else do you have going for you other than your looks?" It worked great, I hooked up with her the next night. My texting game was great once I got her number. I used metaphors and representation to make her think about and bring up sex without either one of us mentioning it, now I am trying to turn it into a relationship. Thanks a lot for the advice I might have done something stupid without it.

Bill in New York says:

Guys, this is great, you can learn a lot from J. Smooth. I used to go out with J Smooth before I moved to NY. He was great then and he can only get better!!!

Colin in Philadelphia says:

I would Highly Recommend taking this offer up if you want to take your game to the Next level. I got to spend time with J. Smooth at Private Member meet up and some extended time with J. the next week. Vicariously, just by being around this guy, I learned So much.

J. is laid back, detailed, analytical and...yes despite sounding corny...is Smooth.

Together, for the price this guy is asking for his workshop, and consultations you are essentially getting free lessons. Go there, learn from him, and have a blast doing it. A mentally vegetated person could Grow just being in the same room as him. Each night I spent around J. Smooth was Easily equivalent to reading 10 books.

Dave in Arizona says:

If you have the chance to go and work with J. Smooth, take it!

I have worked groups of girls with this man personally, and been out with them multiple nights and during day time, and I can tell you with certainty that J. Smooth is just as good in person as you would think based on his outstanding advice giving online!

Hell if I could free up my schedule, I'd probably fly out and get some more time in with him.

Dave
Dating Coach & Pickup Artist


Jenn in Tennessee says:

Alright guys, here is a product of a vast, experienced dating coach. J. Smooth has slammed venues, he has pick up experience with online game, smooth night game, witty day game. He can take it from one extreme to the next. He mentors many students that are truly involved in meeting women, he is very informative with his students, he is dedicated to improve all aspects of courtship with his peers, students, and friends. J. Smooth is all around guru of online dating game. I personally value him as a friend, confidant, and peer!!

Hey guys,
Thanks to Jon everthing goes well .One question :
I have 1 picture in my profile and I don't wanna add more pics.She asked me :
why do you only have one image of yourself???

Actually several girls asked me this question.So what is the best answer to this question?
I just wanna say something like : I don't like to send pictures ,instead I like them to meet and see me in person. Any suggestion? =)
Thanks