Months? I've gotten a couple dates online, but in both cases it basically took a day. A couple messages, a chat that, if it went well, I'd ask her out after.

And I'm not even very good at this...

The big advantage for me is that I can do it at work...

How should I continue with this?

me:Why does a girl like you visits pubs?
her:Whats so bad in visiting such establishments and why do you call me a girl?

P.S. She is 22 and has listed pubs in her places of interest.

Hey Jon - been a while, had just one for a little while and that's done so I'm back haha
---------------

How to proceed with a very cute girl:

I sent a short opener, she sent a short reply, followed by a 3 message reponse, hers two, then I sent her another short message to which she gave me two big paragraphs. I responded with a couple of paragraphs.

That was three days ago and she's been online since. My next email was going to be to ask for a meeting once she responded to me.

The question is what to do when they don't respond once - pretend like I got one from her and ask for the meeting? Or try to re-initiate?

Thanks in advance JS your advice is always well-received.

Analyze my Sarge.


Sent her a message, said I was interested we had a 95% chemistry match and she had a very pretty smile,

She responded was into me too asking me questions,

We got to know each other through a couple messages,

I #closed and told her I'd call her next week,

Called her and invited over to my place, she said she had to work.

I feel like she won't just come over because she is scared I'm some kind of stalker or something, like you say about building more comfort online but I don't want to take her out to coffee or dinner and make her think I'm looking for a relationship and have her make me wait to bang her.

I'll just invite her over again but is there anything you do in this situation she is interested but I mean shit I don't blame her shes a girl why would she just go to some guys place that she's never met.

Jon, can you please assist with what to say in an opening message (as I've had this a couple times), that's serious, witty (or both), where you see a lady (whom you can tell is a real profile) on an adult dating site, ironically say she's looking for a serious relationship and/or a life partner, or anything similar.

I ask, as what I'd like saying ('are you a total idiot or something ?. Why don't you join a more standard dating site, where the standard of guys may not be that better, but at least some messages would possibly have a little more depth, than the messages you're getting on this site'), obviously wouldn't go down well. I need something vastly better for an opening message, that'd stand out from other guys and that'd also get her to qualify herself.

I'd say (as to why I'm on such a site), that I was looking to get out of comfort zone and explore all types of dating sites to give them a try.

Wow dude, you totally answered your own question. It's a rare and disturbed girl that would disregard her own safety to go to a guy's house that could be Charles Manson for all she knows. Just take her to freaking coffee; she's not going to think it's a marriage proposal. And then YOU can actually meet this girl and see if she even matches her pictures. Duh. Do you really want to invite a girl in your house when you've NEVER EVEN SEEN her? Are you that hard up? Could be a tranny trap for all you know.

In my experience, the first meeting is to meet the girl, see if you even like her, build attraction, and make out. Next date is for sex. I once had to make another dinner date, too. The sex was still worth it, even though it took an extra date.

God, just DON'T invite her over again. You'd be like a monkey that keeps sticking a fork in an electric socket. If you keep doing the same thing, you'll get the same results and she WILL get bored of it, almost immediately. Being boring = game over.

I'm not Jon, and this is probably too late to help you, but a girl not responding for a few days is normal, especially if you wrote a lot and she'll have to put time into a response. You can 1) send another message after a few days along the lines of "It's sort of a hassle to log on here every time I get a message. Here's my number. Text me." Or 2) wait a week, then send some playful one liner about being heartbroken and languishing without her and ending, "but seriously, talk to me." I prefer option 1, escalate or break. That way, you're not waiting for another message and you've basically written her off.

Where did it all go wrong? More importantly how can I put it right? I havent heard from her since these last 2 messages but I know she read them as it tells you on POF! She also didnt add me on fb.


From: MR_LOVER_MAN (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 6:47:03 PM

let me know if u add me on facebook so i know who it is that is adding me babes, did u go for ur swimming and sauna in the end?

From: MR_LOVER_MAN (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 3:11:00 PM

how did u manage to give me a wrong number? lol if u dont want to give it dont worry about it.

From: HB (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 3:01:56 PM

u no wat, delete that number i jus gave u as its the wrong one... ill add u on fb instead
Reply

From: MR_LOVER_MAN (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 2:59:14 PM

ok wats ur name? mine is Xxxx?

From: HB (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 2:56:50 PM

i just gave u my old number... ill add u on facebook
Reply

From: HB (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 2:52:08 PM

07591xxxxx
Reply

From: MR_LOVER_MAN (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 2:00:25 PM

same here but u mite be able to find me using my email xxxx. better stil wats ur number?

From: HB (View Profile)
Subject: RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 1:55:54 PM

u wont b able to add me on fb. im on private... wats urs?
Reply

From: MR_LOVER_MAN (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 1:51:11 PM

yeah am on both, wats ur addy for facebook?

From: HB (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 1:50:38 PM

i work shifts, early, lates and nights.

are u on facebook or msn?
Reply

From: MR_LOVER_MAN (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 1:40:13 PM

yeah Monday to friday 9 til 5, wat about u? wat do u do in ur free time?

From: HB (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 1:35:07 PM

im hoping to study mental health nursing or psychology...

well im workin fri and sat then got a week off... cant wait! how about u? do u work mon-fri?
Reply

From: MR_LOVER_MAN (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 1:32:04 PM

its good, but can be stressful at times. check u looking to go uni...have u decided wat u wanna study? u got anything planned for the rest of the week?

From: HB (View Profile)
Subject: RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 1:29:33 PM

project manager.. wow. do u enjoy ur job?
im a support worker in a mental health hospital, hoping to go uni soon.
i come to your area quite a lot as its not far from bedford...
Reply

From: MR_LOVER_MAN (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 1:26:45 PM

it was alright, not as live as i thought it would be, but still a good night out. Am a project manager in YOUR AREA, what about you? do u come YOUR AREA often?

From: HB (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 1:24:11 PM

it was alright... did u av a good night? where do u work?
Reply

From: MR_LOVER_MAN (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 1:16:49 PM

yeah i was there on Sunday night too! did u have a good time? Opus is literally on my door step. so u lived in Bedford long? am at work at the moment.

From: HB (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 1:10:29 PM

Its my day off today... going swimming n sauna soon, then just chillin out. how about u?
i see u live in xxxx i was there on sunday night, went to opus bar, u no where that is? im living in bedford at moment..
Reply

From: MR_LOVER_MAN (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 1:06:29 PM

yeah am good, have u got anything planned for today?

From: HB (View Profile)
Subject: RE:Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 1:04:08 PM

hey... u kool?
Reply

From: MR_LOVER_MAN (View Profile)
Subject: Looking for NSA fun? Sent Date: 4/8/2010 1:03:04 PM

u alrite?

I actually have 2 problems, and you're a hero if you can help me out.


1) My friends tell me, that girls are unsure in my IM conversations whether or not I'm serious about things, are that I'm just joking around. Even though my frequent use of (custom) smilies and cocky&funny talk (well, I try to use c&f), it seems like I just can't get the message delivered properly.
Result: Conversation stalls, momentum gone, no day2.

Conversations with friends and girls that I know for a while (who I'm not gaming), go fine. They know me better, and my guess is that they see the difference between my playful-parts and my serious-parts. Small note: My targets are under 20yr.
What should I do? Drop the c&f? Use more smilies? Only use standard (:P, ) smilies? Perhaps even try to be a nice guy?

2) There's this girl, that I got to know 2 years ago on summercamp, whom I started talking with in October after a periode of 10 months ignorance. Apparently, things were going smoothly, I made her laugh, and we started talking like once a week. I didn't manage to set up a date, but since she lives 200 kilometers from here and neither of us has a SPAM, that wasn't really a goal to me. There is a slight possibility we will meet at summercamp, this summer, which is fair enough for me.

Anyway, in February, we had this conversation about partying (carnival), valentine and stuff like that, and I guess I used way too much ballbusting and cocky, without the funny (extreme case of problem 1).
Looking back, I can say I overdid it and I misinterpreted when she was trying to be nice. So, now she has probably blocked me for the last 2 months. Should I apologize through e-mail for my rude behavior (whilst trying not to DLV), or should I just let things go and drool on her facebook-pictures?

Think you took way to long to transition to text/msn. I read something about immediately going a step further (msn) within the first 2 fb-replies.

Your target may have found this convo boring (ie. you not standing out from all the nice guys). It looks a bit like an interview-convo.

That just my 2 cents. Hope this can help you out.

Im new here, and Im not sure if this is the best spot to post this, but here it goes. I'm chatting with this chick online and she messaged me initially and said "you're cute" that was all she said. So then I responded: "thanks, and what does that win me??" (I used that from this forum! thanks guys.) She replied with this: "Well for 5 more dollars you get 3 more darts and you can upgrade your prize to a mini bike"
She's clever eh. I laughed for a few minutes at that. How should I respond to this??? What sort of cocky funny spin should i put on this. Im puzzled! Any suggestions as to what I can say. I have a few ideas but they probably are not good.

thanks

Firstly be careful with your spelling and typing as girls spot those sort of things!

I would reply by saying that- alcohol is the work of the devil and before you know it you'll be thinking about commiting various sins with strange men
For the girl comment either ignore it or write something like - all women are girls but only some girls are women. Yes it doesn't make sense but echo her lack of logic

To lift from Style - whenever you get a great answer back which you cannot better then just say "Respect" and change the topic

As you're finding out humour translates poorly online - despite the smileys etc the strangers do not realise you're joking. Personally I think cock funny is TOO difficult to pull off online so steer clear. Just use normal language with the aim to get them offline asap so you can use the cocky funny stuff

With your 2nd issue - I think you need to look at it realistically - 200km away is TOO far so even if you could magically resurrect this one it's not a good option. If you feel like an apology would help YOU then do it but let her go. Concentrate on finding other girls.

So is Jon still answering people's online game questions, or is he taking a break from the community, either temporarily or permanently. If so, who else can the forum appoint, to answer questions.