Sky,

Sorry I didn't get back to you before your date, so please tell us what occured.

I agree I don't like getting involved with girls that drink too much. I have been involved with some of the "party girls" and for myself it doesn't work out and they annoy the hell out of me. Good short term, bad long term type of thing.

Really man, I say don't use routines like the ring/cube stuff. That is classic Mystery Method stuff which does work, and you could get more comfortable with after use but if you are going for a real relationship then you need to dig down and just be you. Don't start off a relationship based on bullshit it just doesn't work out.

If you don't have any plans on being in a relationship with her then by all means use all the routines you want. Still, she is getting to know the guy that made those routines and what he's like, not what you're like.

Just my honest opinion. I wish you the best,

~Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

LG,

I have to get up on a soapbox here for a moment because this is the entire problem with using other people's material. When you use someone else's opener in field or online the problem becomes you don't know what comes next. Now this isn't your fault or anything it's just something we've been combating for years on this forum.

I don't exactly plan to stop it single handedly mostly because I have just lost the will to fight that good fight. Anyways, this is why I encourage all of you to write your own material. Take ideas from things like the Facebook opener or openers I have written and reword them for yourself. This way you know where to go with it.

Anyways, I hear you...,"We've used this opener, now what?" No big deal we have opener her and we have her talking and replying to our messages. That is a good thing! Now you just need to transition to another topic so you can start talking about yourself and you two can get to know each other.

Since you asked about her personality I think it'd be good to have her tell you about her personality. Not necessarily qualifying but asking because we're interesting in figuring out what she's like.

"You said you have a personality, which I applaud. I'm curious about you. Tell me what are you like? Are you nice all the time? Are you a grouch in the morning? How do you deal with conflict? Are you generally optomistic? What are you like?"

Keep in mind I completely made this up on the fly, I haven't field tested this if you will. We just want to find out about her and get her talking and saying more than a few short lines. We want to get to know her so that we can open up to her as well. That way we're building comfort with her and also working to get her attracted.

Best of luck,

~Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Steven,

You still have more work to do with comfort. Keep in mind that building comfort is the longest part of the process. Where you can build attraction in minutes or hours, building comfort can take days of time. Since you can't see her anyways....you are going to be calling her every few days and continue with story telling. Continue with asking her questions and finding out more about her. Believe me it can be tough at times to think of stuff, when in doubt talk about your days, and ask questions about them.

I recently met an amazing girl online that is coming to see me. I think I'm in love actually! Seriously, we've been talking on the phone for like a month or so after meeting online. She lives in another city, presently, so I've had to build comfort until she gets here Thursday. It can be tough! You can do it though.

Best of luck,

~Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Dear Smooth,

You're in love?? Congratulations!! You must have found a girl of astounding quality (if not, will u fall in love with her? ) And the best thing about love, I'm actually pretty much in the same situation with this girl. I'm 18, which means I'm young and maybe your advice will be enjoying my life to the fullest, or maybe get to know more type of women, before I'm thinking about getting into a commited relationship.

Believe it or not, I've tried it, I've been playing around for a while and I had a lot of fun, but when I was doing that, I felt empty. I took some time to think about it, then I figured it out... I didn't follow my own goals. What I want when I joined the commnity the first is that a quality girlfriend, the one that I'm happy with. I've been through a year, looking for that one, came across a few, but as a normal student, I made mistakes and I lost them. Now, getting better and know what to do, I find the quality that I want from this girl. A good cook, passions similar to mine, and etc.

So, I'm sorry if I would appear needy with this girl (by sending u FR's and questions), but that's just because I need your help to get this right. I promise that I'll follow the boundaries, and I'll left if she's too much hassle, you've heard enough one-itis case story, and I won't provide another one.

So, the second I checked your advice, I called her. These days, I just rely on my own calibration, and here's how it went:

Me: Heya Mini (nickname), u're running out of credit?
Her: Em... Yaaa... Ehehehe...
Me: Oh, alright.. Anyway, I've pretty interesting story today, but I don't really know if I can tell it right now... So, hmm.. how was your day?
Her: Yeah, it's pretty good actually

I didn't really remember after that, we talked about dancing, which she didn't do anymore, and I was like aww, why not, I think that was pretty nice.

it was short before she said this:
Her: Hey, umm... I'm sorry but I'm busy right now..
Me: Oh yea? I'm busy too, are you studying for ur exam?
Her: errr... yea... hahahha...
Me: Seriously?? Or are you lying to me? (playfully) <----- I think this is where I made the mistake
Her: Ehehehe... Yeah, yeah... Seriously... I'm busy, so I'll talk to you later yeah... bye....
Me: Yeah, I got to go to, have some homework to do... alright mini, I got to go to do my homework.. I'll see you later...
Her: Ok. bye...

I calibrate and it told me that I was doing fine, and that she was legitimately busy, but I'm curious about your opinion??

I called her because she kept sending me messages like "heeeyyy" and "I'm bored" when I was online on MSN. I know she just don't really like texting, so I'll just call her and she complied. Good thing?

Thanks

Best pal,
Steven

_________________
"Live every moment of your life as it is the best"

"Grief is the price we pay for love"

It's ok - I was really looking for a quick fix to get over my anxiety(?) of trying something new during a date/meet. I ended up just coasting on AFC autopilot with her, however I did manage to qualify her and I wasn't overly impressed (probably too critical, too serious, not physically attractive enough, not enough shared common ground...too much of a drinker - though not to alcoholic levels!...a taker as she never said thanks once or gave back some small change when I asked her to get some drinks with my cash) Like I said even if she was attracted to me (no chance as eyes were darting everywhere but not in my direction) I'd reject her

Heya, this is just a quick enquiry but something that I would like someone to shed a bit of light on.

I know that when a girl finishes a message with a few kisses (xxx) it doesn't really mean anything. However is there a certain amount of kisses a girl could give, which would imply other meanings?

When I was a total AFC (still a bit but getting out bit by bit) I thought that when a girl put xx on the end of a message she must like me. No, of course, I know it's just a friendly thing to do. But recently I got a message from a girl I'm interested in who finished a message with about 11 kisses, a lot more than I would usually get.

It may not seem like much, but I'm interested as she has never given me that much before. Is there some sort of psychological thing which states that, if a girl gives more than x amount of kisses at the end of a message then they are showing interest?

I'm just keen to know. If it doesn't mean anything then that's fair enough but if it does mean something then it's rather interesting.

The messages I'm talking about are on Facebook.

Cheers,
GamerX

_________________
"There is no good or evil. There is only power, and those too weak to seek it."

you know what i find that when i number close online more often than not the girl doesn't answer the phone on the first call... so a couple of questions:

1. first of all should i change my technique and after receiving the number via email send a following email saying i got the number and asking when a good time to call would be?

2. if i didn't do #1 and went ahead and called, do you leave a message?

3. if they didn't answer, do you call back the same night?

4. send a text after the missed call?

5. wait until the next day?

6. send a text the next day?

hmm... what do you guys do?

Consider arranging a meet via email only.

Strangely I've set up ALL my recent day2/meet/dates via email and got their numbers just for emergency or in case there's a delay or cancellation. I just want to meet them and talk face to face. This seems to work as I've had few flakes.

I sometimes text a girl when I've got their number just to let them know and it's a check to see if they've given a good number.

If you're insistent on speaking to them on the phone before meeting then I would text them first. Actually I would prime them by email saying "Thanks for your number, I appreciate you're like me and can be rather busy, I'll call on (Day and time) if that's going to be a problem let me know what will be the best time we can chat" I think this is letting her know that you are aware that girls do flake and you're prepared. If she gives hassle I'd let her go.

Hey I was wondering if you know of any good facebook online openers? I tried You're attractive, but do you have any personality? and she said You're attractive, but you kinda seem like an ass. lol I'm not sure if that's a good response, I'll find out soon enough with my next response. But if you have any other online openers that could help me out a lot, thanks again.

J Smooth, been lurking these pages for a few days now. GREAT stuff btw, really appreciate it.

I am basically opening with your direct to date opener but there seems to be resistance. I opened, commented on her profile, and gave her my intentions. Here is how the conversation has led from:

HER: I wouldn't say I'm the best conversationalist, but thank you. You sound like you have a great heart and creative soul too! It really is, even beyond religion and how it views afterlife there are so many other things. I bet you have good insights as well.

That sounds like a good idea. I like that you went with your gut

ME: Great!
Yeah, there is so much to talk about religion and the afterlife. I have a cousin that's Buddhist, a friend that practices magic, and a lot of Christian friends. I'm the minority of agnostics, but I still like to think about it. Have you seen Religulous? Right now I'm really fascinated by Mythology and have even bought a whole encyclopedia about it. It's awesome.

Anyway, you can message me back on here or if you want you can shoot me a text at 562-833-5674.

HER: It's hard to try to not brutally offend someone though, I have before. I'm careful with my words but I'm blunt. I have Wiccan friends, Pagan friends, Nordic friends, Christian friends, Catholic friends, Protestant friends, Mormon friends, Buddhist friends, Atheists friends, you name it. Only a few of some though. I am very interested in Buddhism. I'm more agnostic with spiritual tendencies though. I have seen Religulous! Somewhat recently. I thought it was pretty good, a bit biased.

Ahh I'm glad you love mythology. :] I had to read Homer and other Greek writers a lot freshmen year and I really got into that year...it's so magical. You could try Nordic mythology too, or something.

Got it!

ME: That's so true! Actually, I am constantly making fun of my Christian friends but they are totally left wing liberal so they're cool about it. They love me and I love them.

Glad to see that we have good things in common. Let's continue this conversation on messenger. How do I reach you?

HER: I make fun of my friends in cases like that all the time too.

I don't use messenger, sorry. Really, it just gets loaded up with conversations and then I get distressed from them. I suppose I could try...
My AIM is violentcoercion



She hasn't signed on at all and I haven't responded yet. Maybe I need to escalate the conversation sexually somehow? I'm not sure, tell me oh wise one.

IT doesn't mean anything having extra "x" at the end of the message.

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hi, J,
Thanks for taking the time to help people out like this.

I am currently really having success meeting women online. The ones who respond (1-2 of 3) almost always give their number and 80-90% of the time progress to meet me.

My problem seems to be the first meeting. I spend a good amount of time in email and on the phone building comfort and connection. The girls are excited to meet me and really eager to meet.

Something seems to go very wrong when we meet though. The evening seems enjoyable but at the end its obvious they're not attracted. My personality is the same as it was while on the phone/ email and I look just like my pictures, so I'm not sure what it could be (its not physical/ personality)

Its getting to the point where I'm starting to be reluctant to meet anybody new because I feel like I will be wasting my time unless I get this figured out.

For reference, I've been online for about 2 years, but just recently started to learn how to set up a profile and communicate properly (last 2 months).

Since then I've had much more success, averaging 1-2 in person meetings a week, 50% of them I'm interested in meeting again. (the ones I dont want to meet again were cool, I just wasnt feeling it)

I maintain a focus on the girl during the "date" and try not to think about myself.
Ihave a couple places lined up to go with the first one being something casual where we can talk a little. the girls are all mid-20s (24-28ish). i relax and let her talk. engage other people in the conversation and am friendly..

is there some basics to D2s I am missing? Is there something I am supposed to be doing? or is it physical? The ones I liked were *very* hot HB9+, but it couldnt be all physical because they saw pics of me and they *do* look like me ...

thanks for any help/ guidance you can give..

Hey J, i have a question on facebook chat. i dont know what to say. i am an inexperienced pua afc and my conversations die off. i've never been much of a talker not just with the women but in general so i really don't know what to say sometimes. i know i am supposed to go out and game in real life and i do that but id like to up my internet game especially with girls who live further away. Do you have any conversation topics/tips for me? Thanks, greatly appreciated if you could help.

Hey J,
I know most think text message game is lame, but hear me out: Met this HB9 online dating site about 7 days ago. Went from online to text chatting after ~2 days. Shes 18 and lives 45 minutes away, VERY small town (not college), but has shown SEVERAL IOIs. I have DHVed the crap out of her and shes been eating it up trying to qualify herself to me, and indicated she wanted to meet up "soon". Shes looking for a LTR. I was going to call her tomorrow, build some more comfort and then arrange a date, but today things took a strange turn, and I have no idea what to do...Here is what happened:

As a joke, i texted her today saying there was "something I felt like I should tell her, but wasn't sure how"...of course she was all concerned and I left her hangin ~15min. Then I told her to just check her email. I sent her a brief email that said "You seem like a very nice girl, but I'm still unsure if I am the right person for you...here are some guys that u might be more compatible with....[link to 80s montage dating youtube video]". I thought she would find it hilarious, as have I most people I've forwarded it to (it really is funny)...But this was the reaction I got!

HB9: yeah i seen it that is seriously the stupidest shit i've ever seen
HB9: i mean it wasn't even funny at all it was gay
Me: what! no way that video is hilarious someone sent it to me today...must be a guy thing
Me: lol now I feel dumb, thanks jerk :p. could I at least get a courtesy laugh?
[10 minutes, no response]
Me: Fine grouch. Check now [sent her a funnier vid, more girl-humorish]<-----my mistake. idiot!
HB9: I'm busy right now
Me: wow your seriously pissed about that?
HB9: no i'm just busy
Me: Ok, let me know when u are done being busy...is makeup sex really as good as they say it is?
[No Response] (possibly asleep, 11:00pm)

Ok so I now see all the places I made rookie mistakes, but this girl is damn hot and everything was smooth as silk before this monstrosity. Is this repairable? should I wait a few days and try again? should I just ignore her unless she contacts me again? I don't know if this was a shit-test, a rejection, or that I really got her worked up and she was pissed because that I had her all worked up and she went out of her way to check her mail only to find a video she has seen and hated.

Any feedback would be appreciated! sorry for the long thread... -Ryan

Well I used to do online gaming and I guess it worked but only after a bunch of spit game, effort and a few months of waiting to gain trust and time to meet up. It just seems like such a hassle to convince some babe to come meet you esp. when they live away from your community. Being in high school it makes things even more complex. I kinda gave up on internet gaming to move on to real life gaming. I don't quite understand how you can successfully sarg online, could you enlighten me.