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Ok, noticing that you don't really reply to other posts in the forum but you do to this thread... and you seem to really know your shit soooo hope you don't mind if I repost a question here:
Onoma,
Of course, I don't mind you posting here at all but I do reply on multiple places on the forum hence my post count, just lately I've been sticking to this thread cause my personal life has been really busy and I haven't had the time to go through the forum as I normally do.
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Messaged a girl sometime last week with the imaginary wedding/divorce opener, and went through that routine with her. Tried talking to her after, and it didn't really go anywhere.
I really personally have issues with this opener just because it is so tough to transition from but so many people on the forum seem to like using it.
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Today I saw her online and started up a chat session, and we ended up talking for about half an hour. Seemed like we were having a good conversation and everything, then she kind of abruptly says she has to get going... so I just say ok, see you later and log off.
That's a pretty good amount of time chatting. Sounds like you did the right thing by chatting her up. Good job!
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So what's a good next step? Do I just wait a day or two and try to start up a chat with her next time I see her online? Should I send her a message to try and schedule another chat? Maybe send her a message asking if she wants to get together?
Half an hour is not long enough to build the comfort you need for her to meet a strange guy she just met some place. You would want to focus on chatting with her the next time you see her online. Don't wait to talk to her again keep things flowing.
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Oh, the other thing is that after the wedding opener I asked if she wanted to get together and she said she'd need more time. Then this time she was telling me about a couple guys she'd met who had seemed normal, then turned out to be huge creeps (I had my own creepy girl story for comfort building, yay!) so she may be a bit more shy about getting together right away I think...
There are a lot of women out there with bad experiences meeting guys from online. I definitely thing that your own creepy girl story is going to go a long way to establish that you know how she feels and you are not like the others. I have to spend time myself doing that with girls I meet from online sites.
The key is just to talk to her like a normal human being building comfort, telling stories, asking questions, and letting her get to know you. You might have to spend a little more time with her than you would someone who doesn't have that issue with having guys she met online turning out to be creeps. You may have to spend a few hours online talking to her before she's ready. Just be patient...if she's talking to you that's half the battle, just finish the other half by being patient with her and not being pushy.
Be the "Exception to the rule" in the idea that most guys are pushing to go on a date right away and trying to get all sexual with her online. In this case seriously just be a nice guy and be patient with her. It'll get you a long ways. Then in person just continue to be that guy that she's gotten to know online. As the issue with most women is that a guy is one way online and different in person.
Take it easy,
Jon
If you want to see the actual conversations it's in this thread
follow-up-vt60913.html. I only posted it because someone said she might have brought up the creepy guy thing as an IOD... but really it felt like a good conversation when we were having it. *shrug*[/quote]