Quote:
Vibe, welcome to the wonderful world of American women.
They can be somewhat insecure at times.
You know, as it taking themselves and their appearance too seriously.
That 'neg' was certainly over the top.
You would have probably been a lot better off telling her she had very beautiful hair and if she would like to get a drink later. I suspect the young lady was somewhat nervous being in a foreign country as well.
I personally don't neg strange chicks on their physical appearance. I think it's counterproductive. Items of clothing, etc.. ok.
Now, let's try not to insult each other anymore guys. We all make mistakes. And if we don't share them, nobody learns from them.
Thanks for posting this Vibe.
Vibe, i have seen some of your other post, and know that you have some very good knowlege. You are definatly more advanced then i. However, i find myself in the doubious position of being able to teach you something now.
I quoted Starbuck, not because of the content of his message, but because of a special way in which he wrote it.
Keep in mind that when gameing in person, you can convey humor, confidence, cockiness, etc with body language and tonality.
Its very easy even when speaking in your first language, to forget that your emotions and body language cannot be 'felt' by the person receiving your email/texts.
Notice how Starbuck uses smily faces to convey humor and other feelings. It is VERY important to include these in texts. It lets people know that you are not being an ass, but playful or cocky or flirtasious.
What you said in that email would have insulted 99.9% of women youd use it on, written the way you wrote it. Throw a smiley face or 2 into that...and youd probably get down to single digit percentage of women who wouldnt handle that remark well.
Also keep in mind, that perception is everything...what you meant is not important compared to what someone thought you meant.
She thought you insulted her, and you didnt...guess who is right (even if what you said wasnt insulting), the girl who perceived it as an insult. Your right in your effort to neg, as her perception is that she thinks shes a 10...but consider if her perception is based on a front (her pretending even though she knows better), or her experience.
Look like you overshot on this one because it was done through a medium you are not used to (ie text/mail), and you should consider that it is possible that your neg was too strong for her frame.
Hope this helps man.
CHAT
