Profile critique, if anyone is bored



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PostPosted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 12:05 am 
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Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:56 pm
Posts: 3
Interests
Lifting iron to sculpt my body
Sketching life on paper
Listening to dope ass beats
Doing cool stuff
Oiling up for the ocean and the sun
Conquering nightlife with my peers
Playing monopoly with relatives
Beeing loud in the theater
Going def at live events
Adventures sober or not so sober
Bowling
Sleep

About Saul239

Who me?

I'm into working out, not like 3 hours a day reading muscle mags while drinking 8 scoops of protein working out, but keeping in shape and feeling healthy working out. I enjoy going out with friends, and discussing all the ape sh*t stuff we have seen through out the week. I find that taking time off at the end of the week to relax and laugh with friends, makes me a more motivated and happy person. I am going to school, so that I can earn more money and become a better person. I am, who I am and I love who I am. I hope to find new friends on here to appreciate me for me and me for them being them!

I like action films like Karate Kid ( Jackie Chan and Ralph Machio), Mighty Ducks ( Emilio Estavez knows Hockey!), and Mean Girls (Regina is a super villain). I like Comedies like The Expendables movie ( Sylvester Stalone is hilarious), White House Down ( Channing Tatum plays a good Ninja), and anything with Steven Segal in it ( how is he allowed to make movies?). I like all scary movies except Magic Mike (there was no magic tricks in that movie), The Expendables (I thought they were all zombies with guns the whole time, isn't Arnold Schwatznegger dead?), and anything with David Hasselhoff ( I like Night Rider though).

I love getting away and going on vacation, Mexico was fun, I think my friends almost got kidnapped and I might have done a jello shot off of a homeless guys navel? The time I went to the Bahamas was OK, I was just scared about getting stabbed half the time, and didn't trust the guy carving out a voodoo doll that resembled me. Also, I did go to Chicago for a good friends wedding, wow that place is amazing, beautiful buildings, great nightlife, and so many different people.

ask more questions if interested.

First Date Probably an activity of some sort ( Sword fighting, Jello Wrastling, or maybe mini golf?), then grab a bite to eat( Burgers, Pizza, or a Wok place).


pof

viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=72451780 :D

Thank you


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 20, 2014 7:33 pm 
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Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2014 8:18 pm
Posts: 7
First off, I'd say check out this vid. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65fRrFJnrBg, although I'd say that "I'm kind of an asshole" tag-line hasn't worked for me, what has is "I'm kind of a big deal." (watch the vid, then you'll get what I'm talking about."

Decent pics, I would suggest you get some ones which aren't from a phone. Online game is heavily based on pics.

For the interests, I would use some different wording, you would probably get disqualified by a lot of women for saying shit like "Listening to dope ass beats" and "ape shit stuff." Also watch out for some spelling errors, I know it's minor but something polished is better than half assed shit, i.e "going def."

I wouldn't use that as the description on the profile, way too long, whittle it down to some key points. Leave in the part about going to school and bettering yourself. I probably would cut out the movie part. Great DHV in the travel section, I'd put it at the top, although I'd change some of the wording.

All this being said, if you have previously gotten comments regarding certain things in your profile, leave shit like that in, and tailor it like that.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 20, 2014 9:05 pm 
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Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:56 pm
Posts: 3
Thanks for the advice, and yes I know the pics are very low quality (phone). I will work on that and the other stuff you noted. Thanks for the feed back I appreciate it.

I will check out that vid too


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 6:07 am 
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Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:56 pm
Posts: 3
2nd attempt (I still have to watch the youtube video posted, i did download it though)

Interests:
Strengthening my body at the gym
Strengthening my mind at school
Sketching life on paper
Sitting back and enjoying a Guinness to some 80’s rock
Oiling up for the ocean and the sun
Conquering nightlife with my peers
Playing monopoly with my relatives
Being loud in the theater
Going deaf at live events
Adventures sober and maybe not so sober ones haha
People watching in traffic
Showing off my non-existent bowling skills
Mastering the art of beauty sleep

About Saul
I enjoy an active lifestyle because looking good and feeling good is important to me. I am looking for a woman who shares the same passions (Lois Lane to Clark Kent). I appreciate the company of a woman who is adventurous, because me and my friends are not tame when we go out. If you’re looking for someone to get fat together with on the couch, close my profile and move on. I also appreciate intelligence when it comes to a woman’s character strengths, but find myself put off by a snobby know it all. I love to travel on my off time from School and work, so have your passport readily available. It is essential that the woman that I am with is confident and strong, because life hands us all some devastating blows. I would rather have Lois Lane next to me when hurt by Kryptonite, rather than have her be my Kryptonite.

If you find yourself fascinated by genuinely, appealing, and never dry interactions you have a duty to yourself to send me a message.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 9:00 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 10:24 am
Posts: 11
Quote:
2nd attempt (I still have to watch the youtube video posted, i did download it though)

Interests:
Strengthening my body at the gym
Strengthening my mind at school
Sketching life on paper
Sitting back and enjoying a Guinness to some 80’s rock
Oiling up for the ocean and the sun
Conquering nightlife with my peers
Playing monopoly with my relatives
Being loud in the theater
Going deaf at live events
Adventures sober and maybe not so sober ones haha
People watching in traffic
Showing off my non-existent bowling skills
Mastering the art of beauty sleep

About Saul
I enjoy an active lifestyle because looking good and feeling good is important to me. I am looking for a woman who shares the same passions (Lois Lane to Clark Kent). I appreciate the company of a woman who is adventurous, because me and my friends are not tame when we go out. If you’re looking for someone to get fat together with on the couch, close my profile and move on. I also appreciate intelligence when it comes to a woman’s character strengths, but find myself put off by a snobby know it all. I love to travel on my off time from School and work, so have your passport readily available. It is essential that the woman that I am with is confident and strong, because life hands us all some devastating blows. I would rather have Lois Lane next to me when hurt by Kryptonite, rather than have her be my Kryptonite.

If you find yourself fascinated by genuinely, appealing, and never dry interactions you have a duty to yourself to send me a message.
You should add some qualifers in there.
Like "Don't message me if you're a hostess, hooker, pot head, ect. ect."


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