New to the forum guys and online gaming in general, I was having this conversation with a HB9 on POF and I'm not quite sure where to go with this conversation;


Me
8/12/2013 1:43:29 AM
Hey just a word of advice, I'd change that picture on your profile if I was you

HB
8/12/2013 9:08:27 AM
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But then everyone would know that I'm a 59 year old man in Arizona.


Me
8/12/2013 11:13:55 AM
Good answer, finally someone with a sense if humor! +5 cool points for you!

HB
8/12/2013 5:51:48 PM
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Huzzah, finally a message that doesn't comprise of 'hws u? Ny craic?'


Me
8/12/2013 6:44:07 PM
You get those messages a lot too huh? I was starting to think this site was just full of brain dead creeps! Ok important question, skittles or maltesers!?

HB
8/12/2013 8:32:50 PM
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Malteasers, hands down.
Tiebreaker: chocolate, strawberries or skittles? This kinda threw me off as mentioning strawberries is one of the things I've actually seen on this board


Me
8/12/2013 8:41:53 PM
Malteasers, really!? Had you pegged as more of a skittles kinda girl! Tried to make her quailify her choice here Strawberries dipped in chocolate is the obvious answer!

HB
8/12/2013 8:42:50 PM
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You're only half right. Shit test?

Me
8/12/2013 8:54:51 PM
You're only half wrong. Didnt wanna back down from my choice

HB
8/12/2013 8:56:16 PM
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Touche

Is this convo dead or is there anything I can reply to keep it going?

Remember, you don't need to answer every single text about everything.

Sometimes you'll end a text sesh off with something that isn't "Good night" or "great talking to you". It is actually one way to show that you aren't just sitting around texting her, you can come across busy...and thats good.

I think its a good, goofy convo that helps with rapport. Now go apply that in person and not via text, its much more powerful that way.

And I always say this to people. Use texting and interaction to your advantage at all times. This means you are on a mission to create inside jokes that only YOU and HER have access to.

Example inside Jokes:

- You dropped some solution on yourself so you keep referring to an old study saying this type of solution makes your penis smaller (an obvious joke, self-deprecating, gets her thinking about your penis etc.)

Now, you can always continue this via text if you want and it will come across natural because its funny and its exclusive to both of you (provided you already have some attraction going).

So next time you text it can be "got any growth hormone or something I can splash on my crotch?" instead of "hey, whats up?"

You know what i mean? it adds a signature to a comment that is specifically yours, and that is much better than the typical dude saying "so are like a good student and stuff?"

So, you don't have to answer. You can always wait til the morning and send a funny picture (which I do) that gives them a giggle. A lot of times things like that spark more interaction and thus create more rapport. Do it!

good luck man.

The strawberry is actually the routine that I posted on this forum a while ago, so chances are she had already run into it before. Regardless, the whole point of that routine and all the food choices is to spike her interest by revealing your interest and feed her just a little bit of what they meant so she would be curious. Now the problem with your conservation is that there is no fun in it. She showed you that she's a feisty girl with a sense of humor right in her first reply. You should have picked that up and be more playful and teasing her.

Second thing I want to mention is the fact that all the question were ALL qualifiers. You qualify a girl to show your standard and get her invested, it is by NO MEAN, to be use as conversation topics.
"Hey just a word of advice, I'd change that picture on your profile if I was you"
"Ok important question, skittles or maltesers!?"
"You're only half wrong"

When you're doing back to back qualifier without compliment her, it just becomes quite judgmental. Hence, in my routine, I always advise people to say "Interesting choice... I like that ... etc.."

Personally, when she mentioned the strawberry, I would have referred her to this forum and accusing her to try to pick me up and tease the fuck out of her. But okay that did not happen, what went wrong is your last couple responses, you started out good, however you was messaging her without a clear goals, hence your responses were all over the place and there was pointless comments that took away her focus on the main point of our conversation. For EX, "You get those messages a lot too huh?" and "Strawberries dipped in chocolate is the obvious answer!", these distracted her from the main points and made your responses much longer than it should be.

ALWAYS text or messaging with a goal in mind.Be smart and efficient. If a response does not contribute to your goals, don't send it.

The last thing is, "You're only half wrong", whether her "You're only half right" response was a shit test or not, this was a terrible way to deal with it.

As for how to fix it, wait couple days then contact her again with something random and fun. Listen and pick up the cues to make connection with her rather than just throwing question after question at her. Make it light and playful.

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Cheers for the advice guys, Looking back I can defiantly see how all the qualifying can come across as judgmental, the conversation actually continued shortly after I made my original post so I'll stick it up here for some more constructive criticism. I feel like during this I got into a rapid reply mode and shoulda took some more time between messages, also my messages we're way too long, anyway like I said I'm new to this so any feedback is welcome

Me
Ok what's the right answer so!? I'm gonna guess just strawberries :-

HB
Bingo!

Me
So what do I win!?

HB
8/12/2013 9:28:21 PM
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Brownie points

Me
8/12/2013 9:29:06 PM
Can I not just have actual brownies instead!?

HB
8/12/2013 9:30:51 PM
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I made actual brownies today


Me
8/12/2013 9:35:08 PM
You make brownies!? that's another 5 points for you, your on 10 now, keep it up and you might get a prize! (hint: saving me some of your brownies also gets you a prize)

HB
8/12/2013 9:36:09 PM
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Ah they're only a test batch. There'll be a half dozen left over!


Me
8/12/2013 9:38:44 PM
Half a dozen!? Now your just trying to make me fat!

HB
8/12/2013 9:39:29 PM
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Ain't nothin' wrong with a decent feed haha. I love to bake


Me
8/12/2013 9:46:20 PM
Well that's handy since I love to eat baked goods! Ok lets play a game to get to know eachother more (I just wanna make sure your not crazy ), we each ask questions but the same question can't be asked twice, I'll start, what's the biggest lie you've ever told?

HB
8/12/2013 9:49:24 PM
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I lied about my weight for a good while. Now I'll be honest and say that I'm a size 12. I'm working on it but I'm getting out of that chubby bunny phase. Are you an animal person?

Was thinking about going for a number close here, either asking for her number or just throwing mine into the next message and telling her to reply to that instead, thoughts?


Me
8/12/2013 9:56:54 PM
Ah I'm sure your not a chubby bunny! Yeah love most animals except for cats, I'm certain that their all plotting to kill me, I have a dog that I'm pretty sure thinks she's a human at this stage with the way we treat her! If you could do anything in the world, and know you couldn't possibly fail what would you do? This is the last message I sent, didn't get a reply back and I haven't tried to reopen yet

Like I said above any advice and criticism is welcome

Nothing wrong with quick response, I actually encourage guys to do that with online dating since your message is easily to be lost among a dozen boring one she receives everyday. If she skips a day, she probably won't spend half hour browse through all the messages just to find yours, especially if you have not created enough interest.

And kudos on keeping the conversation fun and light. You did a good job. You could have teased her about the brownies and number-closed right there then play the question game on text.

_________________
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[O.o] .: Survival Guide For Online Dating
/)__) .:Tips To Significantly Improve Your Online Game
-"--"-

Thanks GKS, I appreciate the advice, is it worthwhile trying to reopen here and if so how would you go about it? or is it better to just move onto the next one?

Honestly, I would just move on. The question game is great for conversation in person, however I do feel online it's a little weak, since sometimes you ask a hard question and she has to think about it, then she leaves it there for later, then it get lost or there is another guy more interesting messages her and she forgets all about it. I always advise people to number close about 2-3 responses in.

If she's interested, she will get back to you. You did not do too bad, so for now, just game other girls. You can always come back to her later. I sent out like 50 messages a week on top of day game if I'm lazy. So there is always more women out there to talk to.

_________________
,___,
[O.o] .: Survival Guide For Online Dating
/)__) .:Tips To Significantly Improve Your Online Game
-"--"-

When she asks you a question tease her about it and number close.... You would ask that... I'll tell you what, let's exchange numbers and if we hang out I'll tell you.

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KCCO

Oh god. You had her hooked already .. should have just went into ask for date mode. Why the hell would you play that stupid skittles game? You already had her. That is where you messed up. Only place to go here is just ask her out ... forget about all this witty back and forth shit, it isn't accomplishing anything. Just go with "So, up to anything exciting this week?" and then no matter her response, respond to whatever dumb shit she is doing and then suggest meeting up sometime. You should have done that way earlier; now it might be too late, but it's the only logical play in my opinion.

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