I found this girl on OKC that I really like and I'm determined to get her to talk to me, the only problem is that I sent her a really bad first message (actually it's the second message I've sent her, as you'll discover in my OKC msg). Anyway, here it goes;

"Hi! How's it going? So I actually saw you on the Let's Date app and I sent you a message on there, but I'm not sure if you ever got it (well I obviously hope you didn't get it, which would explain why I didn't hear back from you

Anyway, I think you seem really cool, and I think we might have some things in common. What's your favorite N64 game? I was actually playing Goldeneye (again) today. One of my all time favorite games. Period.

You should write me back. Why? Cause I'm not a creep like most of the guys on these sites. Plus I'm a pretty big geek as well. And my mom says I'm handsome. So I've got that going for me."

Yup, pretty embarrassing. I know I sound needy and desperate and pathetic here. The question is, can I be saved? What can I do to make up for this abysmal message? Any advice would be really appreciated.

Go to a different girl and start over. Learn from the experience.

Try something like this:

Well you seem unique and different, tell me something cool about yourself!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Actually what I meant to ask was, how can I try messaging that girl again? I'm determined to talk to her. She's the type of girl I look for, and it's very hard to find that where I live. So I just want to know if I screwed up my only chance with her or if there is a way I can redeem myself with her.

(1) One of the great things about online dating is that there are, in most parts of the country, literally thousands if not tens of thousands (or even HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS) of available women. This girl is not as special and unique as you think, there will be tons of others that appear that are just like her if not better unless you really live in the middle of nowhere.

(2) First step is, do not contact her for a while, like two-three weeks

(3) Try a short brief opener that plays on something in her profile, also I've found funny works best, even ridiculously absurd over the top funny believe it or not.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

That's just it, I do live out in the middle of nowhere (if you've ever been to Vt then you know what I'm talking about). I've been on all the major dating sites for the past few years, and most of the options in my area on the sites aren't very good. It's very rare to find a girl that's above a 6 and shares even some of the same interests as me (lots of rednecks and white trash on these sites). So if there's anything I can do to fix things or try again with her, I'll do it.


That's a good idea. Thank you. Maybe she'll forget what I wrote before by then. I just hope that she'll still be active on that site by then.

If anybody else has any ideas on how I can redeem myself or get this girl to message me, I'd greatly appreciate it!

Interesting re being in the middle of nowhere. One thing I would ask though, is are you being honest with yourself about the quality of the women? I feel like every guy going on online dating thinks they are somehow entitled to a bunch of 9s and 10s with no effort and no experience and I have also found that a girl who would rate an 8 at a bar somehow gets rated a 6 online. Not sure what it is, but I see it all the time w/friends etc. I help out w/online dating.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Interesting theory about men "underrating" women online. I think it's because there are so many other things that make a woman attractive in person - beyond the one-dimension in a photo. Also, I think you're right that men feel somehow entitled to 9's and 10's - like online dating sites are just catalogues that they can shop from and if they use the right lines, pick one up like a new pair of shoes. I see men reject women's profiles online that they would NEVER reject in person if she was right there and interested. Guys need to get out of their little online bubble and out with REAL, LIVE women. An online only dating like skews things.

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Profile Diva
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