To summarize: I'm looking for personal, one on one help with online sarging, particularly OKC. Perfecting the profile, pictures, and screening/editing my every message. I am willing to PAY for YOUR time and effort in this. How much will depend on your credibility and success rate, but if you're interested we can work out the details.

Why this approach? Well, I've been on OKC for about nine months, and my success rate is abysmal. I've only had THREE genuine meet ups, two of which were photo pros (read: fat/unattractive) and the third I botched from my own design and general hesitance to escalate. To compare, in the last 9 months, I've f-closed 3 HB's I met normally, and currently in a solid FWB with my latest. This was interlaced with varying pseudo PXRS, including a several month stint with an HB9 ex and an HB8 virgin. Several years ago (long before PUA), I was on eHarmony for a couple months, and actually f-closed and dated a girl from there. But the world is changing, and just dancing around the details is getting me nowhere.

About me: I'm 29 years old, a psychology major in a small college town, so much of what I get locally has little prospects in the way of intellectual/witty conversation or actual relationships. I'm formerly a medic in the army with two tours - I have been clean/sober for 9 months - I'm also a small time musician, poet, runner, and probably a serial dater. I've been studying PUA for about 15 months, and am quite satisfied with the results SO FAR. Texting is one my greatest weaknesses, and it reflects in my online dating accomplishments (read: lack thereof). I could ask for general advice regarding my profile, but I am now willing to take a more drastic approach on improving my "digital game" in general. Now, due to these failures, nearly every word I text/type is filled with doubt and cowardice, and that of course is a big problem. I consider myself fairly attractive, confident, intelligent, funny, and cocky, and don't have much trouble running game/attraction in person. I'm content in that area.

What I ask of you: To read my current profile, and help me rewrite it. View my pictures, and advise for taking new ones based on my looks/personality/life. Edit/write openers for me, and the same for any replies or messages I get. Essentially, you will be in full control of my profile - I will be at your whim. Once I get to the "meet up" stage with a particular HB, then I'll take responsibility after that. I am hoping for a commitment of three months or more, and approximately 2-5 hours per week. I aim to increase my reply rate to at least 50%, and fclose an HB8+ in this three months time. When both of us are content with my progress, we can terminate the relationship. I will insist here this is no nickle-and-dime bullshit for me; knowing how to pick up through text and messages is an invaluable skill, and I want to make permanent changes. Everything is negotiable, and I am open to suggestions. Tear my profile apart, rag me, I don't care - what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. If you are interested, PM me or reply with your preferred chat medium and we will discuss the details. I will provide any necessary information, including pictures, so you know what you are working with.

Please, gentlemen. I have nothing left to lose. But as of now, online sarging seems like such a complete and utter waste of time and effort. If you aren't interested in one-on-one help, or just have general advice, I'd still gladly appreciate it and will post my profile if needed. I'm not asking for a contract, just someone who can help.

What you're asking for is too much. Do you know how ridiculous it is to have 50% reply rate let alone targeting HB8+? There are so many factors that come in to play. For one, do you live in a large metropolitan area? You say small college town which is going to dramatically reduce your chance. Post your profile, I critique it, but I don't want to sign up to run your profile.

I kind of figured I'm asking for a bit much. It's more of a goal setting thing, but I'm looking for a crash course. I figure there has got to be some kind of professional assistance out there for this kind of thing, simply because it is so institutionalized. I have a female friend that has helped a little before, but her advice is quite 50/50. Even bisexual women have a poor understanding of pickup. I'm not personal friends with any good online sargers, so I come to this forum.

What are some realistic expectations? I don't want to abandon the hope of one on one help.

And thanks for the offer, when I get around to redoing my profile I will post it here, as I haven't updated in a month or more. It's still probably a lot better than the first incarnation - at least it has humor now.

I'm open to help you casually one on one, but university is taking far too much time right now to take a pupil. I'd recommend GKS if he still lurks around, his posts usually are full of wisdom and little nuggets of information. It would be up to him to decide if he's ready to make that commitment however.

Just reworked it today, did a few hours external research - here's my OKC profile:

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My self-summary
-I'm a veteran. Nine years Army medic. Fire away. Very passionate about this subject. Started a Veterans Club at my school.
-I don't drink or do drugs, and haven't in almost a year. I also live above bar, host parties, and like to go out.

My favorite people tend to be: Musicians, psychology people, Nietzsche fans, runners, and gamers.

3 Words: Dance Dance Revolution.

This Might Be Interesting: BDSM (dom), part Pagan, part Paleo, massage enthusiast, polyamory, and possessing as little shame and self doubt as possible.

Sleep is a crutch.

What I’m doing with my life
I'm studying to be a social worker, to counsel other veterans. One more year of undergrad at Alfred University, here we go.
I'm also a volunteer EMT at my local company.
I’m really good at
Analogies. Mediating. Thriving in chaos. Going the distance. Playing drums, guitar, bass, keyboards, and whatever else I'm kicking on at the moment. Writing and composing music, but it's a work in progress. Making breakfast, particularly if it involves bacon or almond butter chocolate chip pancakes.
The first things people usually notice about me
I am completely and utterly ridiculous.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My favorite band ever, far and away, is The Offspring. Iron Maiden and Green Day are also great inspirations for me. The only thing that grinds on me is dubstep.
"Hey, what are you listening to?"
"Dubstep, it's awesome!"
"Neat, what band is it?"
"Umm... it's dubstep?"

Come on, people. Real music DOES exist.

My favorite movie (trilogy) hands down is Back to the Future. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Alien/Predator movies to name a few - I could watch these countless times.

Best Disney Movie: The Lion King.

Favorite foods: bacon, and fresh meat/fruit/veggies/cheese. Especially cheese. Buffalo wings and Mighty Taco will forever live on through me.

The six things I could never do without
1. Bacon
2. A guitar
3. Friends
4. My sister and her daughter
5. Water
6. Bacon, again. Did I mention I like bacon?

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Life, The Universe, and Everything. And of course, Nothing.

Oh, and sex of course. Human behavior. Making sense of this crazy world.

On a typical Friday night I am
Swing Dancing.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Proud owner of the patented "Micro-Dick".

You should message me if
You consider the following adjectives compliments: Weird, silly, ridiculous, dork, strange, crazy, or have ever found yourself in the state of mind implied by my screen name.

If you're tired of sifting through those 20+ messages in your inbox every day from every internet stereotype out there. If you can find a stereotype for me, I will give you a cookie. Or a Camaro. Or the middle finger.

You don't mind waiting for me to reply, because I simply can't be motivated to spend much time on online dating, while real life beckons.


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Screen name is "ottavit" in case you were wondering.