| I haven't opened my POF account page in a while, but I got a message to my email "Sohofish" or some shit wants to meet you. I gave a FWB a NEXT early in the week (She is starting to have bunny boiler tendencies!).
Long story/short. I checked it out. As it turned out she was uglier than a sack of assholes!
At the top of your mail page they have pictures of girls titled "Viewed Me" from there staring at me was 2 stunning HB8's I couldn't resist temptation:
Brunette fashion designer's profile:
I am a clothing designer and owner of xxxxx Fashion (est 1997). Park me behind a sewing machine and I am content for hours. I am confident and know what I want in life and willing to work hard for it.
I am 40 but do not let my age scare you. I take care of myself and I dont look a day over 33. I like to stay busy with friends and family. I am domestic and adore tinkering with things around the house. I am somewhat athletic but not a hard body. I enjoy walking at an unreasonably late hour when the day time bats are asleep for the night. I am 50/50 Irish and Italian and do what I can to keep the stereotype alive and well. If that isn't awkward enough I am also a Scorpio. I know what you are thinking, Irish, Italian, Scorpio, female is the recipe for MEAN SPICE, or SUPER VILLAIN, but really I have a sweet side too as long as you do exactly as I say and don't make any sudden moves.
I am interested in big boys. By that I mean, all grown up 35 and up. There are a lot of 20 year olds chasing me around and fellas Im just not interested.
I already raised my kids only one left in the nest, and they already have a great Dad. I am looking for someone for ME.
Physically, I prefer tall men. I am 140 lbs great figure and 5 ft tall and nothing makes me more happy than a big man that can give me piggy back rides. If you have some extra lbs on you, thats fine too. I am very passionate so if your passion has fizzled out at this time in your life, you are not for me. I am not a trophy for you to show off to your friends, please get to know me and what makes me tick. I am not shallow enough to look for a sugar daddy so please dont ask me to be your sugar mamma. If you fish or hunt YAY! I adore the man who brings home meat, and will stop whatever I am doing to make sure he knows it. My expectations of you? If you have a free hand it should be resting on my lap.
... Come on .. where are you?
My opener:
I'm 6' 210, none of that is "extra" LOL. I like smaller girls I can pick up!
But after a rigorously brief overview of your profile I wanted to let
you know I have already married and divorced you in my mind.
We both know it was your obsession with fashion! (leather corset?) Nice!!
I am a Scorpio as well, so you know it never would have worked!
I did however like that you were straight forward and honest. it shows a good quality!
Thanks for all the wonderful imaginary memories... you will always
have a special place in my heart.
Your ex-hubby,
Her reply:
Dearest ex-hubby,
Why oh why does it have to end this way? All the reading and the typing that went into this relationship! Lets not just throw all that away over fashion! I can LEARN to love blue jeans! After all, I look good in them, and I`m willing to make such a huge sacrifice if it means I can keep you! I know it has been a bumpy road, with all the typos and backspacing and lets face it, squinting at the monitor, but there are better times ahead! I believe that! Give me one more chance my dearest. Please?
Warmest Regards,
Number and meet closed later that same day!
Blond car sales woman profile:
I take life and my job very serious yet find it important to be able to laugh and have fun.
I have a very wide interest in music but, prefer classic rock and country.
Working on local charity events is important to me.
I have been a Lions Club member for 3 years.
opener:
After a rigorously brief overview of your profile I wanted to let
you know I have already married and divorced you in my mind.
Thanks for all the wonderful imaginary memories... you will always
have a special place in my heart.
Your ex-hubby,
P.S.
You can keep the dog and I will keep the house in Hawaii =)
Her reply:
Remind me again why got divorced.
The dog is all yours. The mangy mutt ate my new Prada's.
Number closed, sexting late into the night, plans to meet.
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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.
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