Critique This



Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 20 guests
Post new topic Reply to topic   Board index » Real Life Gaming » Online Sarging




Author Message
 Post subject: Critique This
PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 5:35 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2012 3:27 pm
Posts: 22
Location: Redditch / Birmingham
I met this Girl who in my journal I've named 'Sarah'. This is our conversation over the last week. I got her fb a week ago friday after meeting her in a local club but I was so drunk I don't remember the initial encounter but I saw her the day after at a local firework display and we talked a little. This conversation follows on from that encounter.
Code:
09:13 SlyDog7 You managed to get up this morning then? :P 09:14 Sarah Nooo :( x 09:15 SlyDog7 oh dear :P at least you can miss ya meeting now :L - although I think i'd of gone back to bed if I was you haha 09:21 Sarah Nooo can't hun defo got to go an cbaaa 09:22 SlyDog7 I felt the same at half 6 this morn nice shower and hot choc sorted me out thou :) Ah whats it for then? You got a job? 09:32 Sarah Ahhh that's gay lol haha and nah job search x 09:34 SlyDog7 Ahhh hows that been going? So hard SPAM ent it :( What sort of job you after? x 09:39 Sarah Anythink lol jus want a job to enrolve around college x 09:41 SlyDog7 Ah fair enough - Sure you'll find something soon enough :D 09:42 Sarah Yeah hope soo had to ban xmas :( x 09:48 SlyDog7 Ye I've cancelled christmas too and I have a job :L - I spent a fortune last year and no point really xx 09:50 Sarah Ahh I kno I mannaged to spend 200 pound on 20 people last year then 100 on my mum this year I'm like arghhh xx 09:53 SlyDog7 I spent loads last year - Went away for a week with my ex and we ended up shopping all week cus it was too cold to do much else. I spent like £1000 on my credit card on random presents for people - Still paying it off now :L 10:05 Sarah Fukkin hell I got a 500 pound off the bank an still paying tha haha xx 10:07 SlyDog7 awww ({) You could clear that in a month thou if you got an okay part-time job :) 10:08 Sarah I kno yeah I pay 45 pound a month lol x 10:09 SlyDog7 At least your paying it off then :) so did you say you were at college? 10:17 Sarah Yeh but still shit :( and yehh I go fridays xx 10:18 SlyDog7 ye spose :/ What ya studying? xx 10:18 Sarah Childcaree xx 10:19 SlyDog7 awww cool :) You do that at NEW col? I know a few people who've done that there xx 10:21 Sarah Nbaaa I don't lol xx 10:22 SlyDog7 Ah fair enough :L xx 10:28 Sarah Lol xx 10:29 SlyDog7 Not gone to your meeting yet? what time is it? xx 10:31 Sarah Its 11 lol rearranged itr cause I woke up late lol xx 10:31 SlyDog7 Ah fair enough - Was gonna say surely no girl needs to start getting ready like 3+ hours before they go out :L xx 10:32 Sarah Haha I aint even got any make up on :L just like cbaaaa xx 10:34 SlyDog7 I can never tell when a girl is wearing make-up anyways unless they've overdone it and go all umper-lumper orange :L 10:35 Sarah Hahah I was wearing some friday and a bit on sunday but that's it lol xxx 10:36 SlyDog7 I can't even remember friday :L but you looked nice sunday haha. Not umper-lumper orange don't worry haha xx 10:37 Sarah Haha cheers and tbf I dnt member half on friday :L I got a bruise on my bum dnt kno how lmfaooo xx 10:40 SlyDog7 lol oh dear - Na I was gone on friday. Even Banksy (the crazy black toilet guy) said he'd never seen me so hammered *rolls eyes* Oops. I found a message off you in my notes yesteday too said "My name is Sarah" made me laugh :L xx 6 November 15:01 Sarah reallly? haha xxx 15:03 SlyDog7 Ye you must have wrote it :L How's ya day been? xx 15:03 Sarah dnt member :L been good thanks got random question wanna go brean so i was like yeah haha xxx 15:04 SlyDog7 Why not - Spontaneous stuff is always the most fun :) Where ya staying? gonna freeze if your camping :-o xx 15:05 Sarah nah my carVan lol xxx i was ment togo anyways but not til friday lol itool ben and nath the one year lol xx 15:06 SlyDog7 did ya? I don't remember that. Ye my rents have a caravan too but I haven't been camping with them in years. Its not as fun when your with your rents. I have my tent so normally go somewhere random with mates in the summer if its warm enough :) xx 15:07 Sarah ahh fair doeos then xxx 15:09 SlyDog7 How long you going down for? xx 15:12 Sarah a week xxxx 15:16 SlyDog7 Ah cool :) chose the better week for it they had snow down south last week I think xx 15:17 Sarah ahh i know xxx 15:20 SlyDog7 ye can't imagine caravaning being that fun in the snow - Been in a hot tub in the snow before thou. That was pretty cool :) xx 15:22 Sarah i wanna be in the snow xxx 15:23 SlyDog7 oh haha I'll cross my fingers for ya then :L xx 15:38 Sarah Cheers lmaoo xx Thursday 17:00 SlyDog7 Hey babe, enjoying you holiday? not froze to death yet? xx 17:04 Sarah hellooo :) yeh its good fanks darling nd naa haha got me onsiee to keep me warm :P xx 17:06 SlyDog7 awww good good - Ye saw your photo looked nice. You love minnie mouse don't ya :L 17:06 Sarah yeeee ;) hehe and cheers babe xx 17:07 SlyDog7 :) You been out on the nights down there? is it any good? xx 17:07 Sarah nahh lol only go to the club on sight xx 17:09 SlyDog7 Ah cool :) xx 17:12 Sarah :) xx 17:14 SlyDog7 You out in your minnie outfit tonight then? xx 17:14 Sarah nope saturday xx 17:14 SlyDog7 Ah cool :) Just being a poser in your pic then :L xx 17:15 Sarah yeee i was trying it on an sum1 wanted to see it xx 17:18 SlyDog7 Ah can see why they'd want to ;-) xx 17:19 Sarah hehe i dno if i shud go out in tha or my onsiee so xx 17:20 SlyDog7 Guess you'll have to decide based on which one is less likely to make you freeze ya nips off - Could get a lil awkard if someone goes as mickey thou :L xx 17:20 Sarah haha why wud it be akward xxx 17:22 SlyDog7 cus Mickey and Minnie are married mice ent they? :L xx 17:22 Sarah sooo xx 17:23 SlyDog7 lol it don't matter thought I was being funny :P Been up to much today? xx 17:24 Sarah ohhh, nope just went shopping died my hair then fuk all xx 17:25 SlyDog7 Ah cool - buy anything nice? You kept it red? xx 17:32 Sarah it was fukin pink but iv gne red and nah not really lol xx 17:34 SlyDog7 oops sorry :P (I'm a guy we don't do hair colours) I was gonna say pink but thought you'd tell me it was red haha. xx 17:34 Sarah haha nah xx 17:35 SlyDog7 When you next out in the ditch? xx 17:35 Sarah i dnooo dnt go out like often x x 17:37 SlyDog7 Whatcha like to do then? I always say I'm gonna go out less then my mates just drag me out :L xx 17:38 Sarah haha fair does then my mate lives in stratford so its hrad , and i always go brean haha xx 17:40 SlyDog7 Ye I used to hate that, I went to alcester sixth form and meant going miles to meet mates and stuff. Not too bad now I drive thou :) Can you drive? xx 17:41 Sarah aww bless ya it is hard but she gets the bus over nah i dont lol im not trusted haha xx 17:44 SlyDog7 haha - I can't talk tbh I've not long crashed :'( but means I can buy a new car now so not bothered lol. I'm off home anyways (Finally :L) maybe talk later xxx Thursday 23:42 SlyDog7 Hey you had a good night? xx 23:43 Sarah helooo yeh its been funnny haha how was yours? xx 23:43 SlyDog7 ye really good :) Went pub quiz we lost by a mile but was fun :L xx 23:43 Sarah haha bless ya thought ur go town hha xxx 23:44 SlyDog7 going town tomorrow - I don't go on a thurs very often these days cus work xx 23:45 Sarah aww bless ya haha xx 23:46 SlyDog7 I know the downfall of employment - you spend twice as much out cus you have to go at the weekends :L Doing much tomorrow? xx* 23:47 Sarah ahh i kno but if u didnt yur be goin out thursday friday and sat :L haha and going into weston then goin the club on the night xx 23:48 SlyDog7 ahhh cool :) I haven't been weston in ages but last time I went they had this well cool sand modelling thing. Its amazing what some people can do xx 23:48 Sarah yeh they had one this year to go with the olympics but some kids climbed over and messed it up :( xx 23:49 SlyDog7 ahhh what assholes! HT hate people who do things like that* xx 23:49 Sarah i know yeah xx 23:50 SlyDog7 How come you changed your profile pic? You looked way cuter in the minnie mouse onesie xx 23:50 Sarah haha cause i wanted too hehe nah i dno it be sexy minnie mouse on saturday lol xx 23:53 SlyDog7 Ye i'm not sure which I preferred out of those two. Sexy or cute...? You look gorgeous in them both tbh :) when you back from brean again? xx 23:53 Sarah hehe goood :D and naa im here til monday lol xx 23:54 SlyDog7 ah got a day to recover from saturday before the journey back then :)xx 23:55 Sarah yeeee thanks god haha xx 23:55 SlyDog7 I know ye theres nothing worse than being stuck in a car for 3 hours or w/e hungover! xx 23:56 Sarah yeeeh did that last end of seaosn not good :( xxx 23:58 SlyDog7 Ahhh I bet. Just makes ya feel ten times worse suck in a warm car don't it. I best go bed anyways work in the morning :'( Have a good holiday and I might cya sometime when your back? Text me? Night xx 23:59 Sarah yeh il txt u when im bak as dnt get much signal round here its shit :(night hun have fun at work il enjoy ma holiday haha xx 00:00 SlyDog7 haha fair enough :L I'm sure ya will - try and remember it ;-) night xx 00:00 Sarah hehe xxx Monday 21:01 SlyDog7 I'll come town thursday if you like? I normally go anyways. Who ya going with? xx 21:04 Sarah ahh dnt so pissed off haha fed up of being ditched all the fukin time for some fukin fat slag that just ruins the night whens shes drunk anyways!! xx 21:05 SlyDog7 Was that message to me :S xx 21:05 Sarah haha sorry bwt that little rant hahaxx 21:07 SlyDog7 I was well confused then... I was like... I've got a lil beer gut but I wouldn't say fat slag :L Whats up? xx 21:08 Sarah haha :L :L everythink lol xx 21:09 SlyDog7 Oh dear - that don't sound good :/ no wonder you wanna drink :L xx 21:10 Sarah yep shame tbf iv had a lovely weekend :( xxx 21:11 SlyDog7 What's caused you to be stressed now then? :s just need a hot choc and a cuddle :P xx 21:12 Sarah i know yeah with marshmellows and chocolate flake topped and some cream haha xx 21:13 SlyDog7 Ahhh sounds good :) shame you don't live close I actually have all of that bar the flake xx 21:14 Sarah haha gutted wished i lived closer , il be popping round in my onsiee haha xx 21:15 SlyDog7 Haha your welcome anytime in that onesie ;-) xx 21:16 Sarah haha xxx 21:19 SlyDog7 Can still go out Thursday if you wanna thou? Pre-drink at mine bring two friends n can share a taxi up? xx 21:25 Sarah il try haha xx 21:26 SlyDog7 I dunno who I'll know up there but Its a thursday I'll always know a few people. I'm a town rat :L Calmed down a bit yet? xx 21:27 Sarah haha bless ya lol and yeh i have xx 21:31 SlyDog7 Ah gdgd :) I'll save you a marshmallow for when your next stressed then :P You live in redditch/studley. I'm sure it won't be long! :L 21:33 Sarah haha studley lol xx 21:35 SlyDog7 I can't wait to move away from this town... Its so dull. I loved living in Derby was so much better. xx 21:39 Sarah haha samee!! all the fun things up westion/brean/burnham il rather be there xx 21:41 SlyDog7 Don't blame ya :) At least there's always summat going on there - and ppl by the sea just seem happier :L anyways I'm off to watch walking dead. Let me know if you wanna come thurs :) xx 21:42 Sarah okaywill do hun xx Today 07:14 SlyDog7 You okay? What ya been crying for? :( xx Today 10:14 Sarah ahh just on a downer last night hun thats all xx 10:16 SlyDog7 Ye I guess we all have days like that :/ As long as your okay :) Got any plans for today? xx 10:19 Sarah yeh im fine now and nope stay in bed & not move :D xxx 10:21 SlyDog7 Ah I'm well jel - Beats my day. I'm stuck in work till 5.30ish - I don't do much while I'm here thou and even less now i'm leaving :L xx 10:39 Sarah aww bless ya haha , xx 10:41 SlyDog7 Ye could be worse... Picking my new car SPAM :) Its well exciting! Can't wait for it to come xx 10:47 Sarah true lol and aww what car u gettin xx 10:50 SlyDog7 Still decided but it'll either be a new Seat Ibiza, Ford Fiesta 2012, Peugeot 208 or Renault Clio. Just comparing prices and fuel economy and all the boring stuff now :L xx 10:59 Sarah aww bless ya haha xxx Today 15:30 SlyDog7 Decided to get out of bed then? :P xx 16:01 Sarah yeah xxx 16:02 SlyDog7 lol :P Guess there is only so much jeremy kyle anyone can watch :L xx 16:02 Sarah didnt watch it lol xxx 16:03 SlyDog7 Ah your my type of girl then :L - I can't stand Jezza... Just something about the show just winds me up... xx 16:03 Sarah aww haha xxx 16:05 SlyDog7 Not got plans for tonight? xx 16:09 Sarah nope uu xxx 16:09 SlyDog7 Dunno might get a few friends together and go pub. Texting people now xx 16:10 Sarah ahh fair does xxx 16:11 SlyDog7 Won't be a rowdy one mind - work in the morning still and am thinking town thursday etc. You got college friday? xx 16:11 Sarah yeh i have :/ xxx 16:12 SlyDog7 Awww you not enjoy it then? :L xx 16:27 Sarah yeh but i wanna go out lol xxx 16:28 SlyDog7 oh haha :L - Just go and drink early so you sober up a lil towards the end? I always tell myself that but it never happens. I just get trashed and have to drag myself to work the next day xx 16:35 Sarah haha yeah but i wudnt get up lmaoo cause im lazy haha xxx 16:38 SlyDog7 tut tut :P - I don't get much of a chance to lie in at mine even if I do try my best. I have a downstairs bedroom and two noisy foster bros :L Fancy joining me at the pub later? xx 16:40 Sarah haha got no money hun and haha thats not good xx 16:41 SlyDog7 I didn't say you had to drink :L I know ye... I love kids but not at like 7am! xx 16:48 Sarah haha xxx 16:50 SlyDog7 Gimmee your number anyways and if I ent up at a pub in studley I'll send you a text, I might even buy you a drink :P xx 17:22 Sarah haha okay il try lol xxxx 17:26 SlyDog7 Wuu2? I'm so bored at work. I've literally done nothing workwise today xx
[/code]

I know its a little long but any feedback is appreciated.

_________________
In the words of Sheldon Cooper - "Bitches be Crazy!!"


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 5:43 pm 
Offline
PUA Forum Leader
User avatar

Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2011 11:55 pm
Posts: 1273
I hate to say it, but you're going to have to shorten that. I don't think anyone is going to want to sit there and read that. Especially with the ADHD-style grammar.


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 2 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link