So i started flirting with this girl who I went to Elementary school with and here is how it went:
Slie:No KB, it is you who are stalking me... Please get it right
KB:Lol.sorry I wasn't thinking you could see this Bahahaha
Slie:D Stop it now, just stop it. I am getting tired of these subpoenas showing up in the mail and cops showing up at my door because I have to produce a medium-sized novel's worth of documents so I don't get hauled off to county. Look I know you have a demented sense of humor but I have barely had a chance to retaliate. Give a guy a break would you?
KB:Ok I'll try I really will! You better start to pay the child support though before they take you away for good
Slie:ARRRRGGGHHHHH! It just doesn't end. Alright, so if a semi shows up with 1.62 tons of frenchs mustard and starts unloading palettes of it in and around your house, we will call it even right. Oh, and I hope you are ensured, the guys I hired are not what I would call graceful. Do not be concerned though the yellow stuff you put on burgers and dogs is loaded with health benefits. I might even crack open several cases and load up a kiddy pool or two (or thirty!) with it for as relaxing, and delicious swim. Feel free to join, as I would not want to see it all go to waste.
KB: hahahaha I got nothing for that one!! You are just as funny as you.always have been!!! Now about that child support?!! Do I need to take legal action or are you gonna Pay It on your own??
)
Slie: Uhh, that is what the mustard is for... (DUh)
KB:Oh your gonna pay me in mustard??!! Thats all the children are worth
SLie: Hey kids like mustard and the aformentioned health benefits. Your neighbors will all be soooo secretly jealous of you. I might even have a random case of stone ground or Dijon thrown in there because I would not want you to look too much the pauper. A couple of loaves of rye bread some corned beef/pastrami and we will be able to open our own deli on your front lawn. (Cha-ching, cha-ching) So , are you still worried for safety and stability of our seven children? C'mon now, really.
KB:Not at all now!! You Just put it into perspective for me thank you!!!z
(Bunch of talk between her and another guy)
Slie: No, not again, that is the second time this week. I swear I have a clone or an evil twin, that makes all of theses shitty decisions that I have to be responsible for. I will call him "other-Slie." Put it this way, other-Slie is "Fun"-loving, short-sighted/reckless and really persuasive. Yesterday I got a notice in the mail saying I was being billed for a case of Mexican viagra like 20 syringes of anabolic steroids. What is he getting me into? Help me KB, Other-Slie's intentions are okay, but his methods are scary.
KB:Let me know what I can do for you Tim I got your back ride or die girl here!zzz
Slie: Ugh-ohh, you may be baiting up a hook for "Other-Slie" may call you because he pissed off a few too many yakuza on a weekend joy-ride to Portland. Come armed with nothing less than AR-15. Last time they showed up I barely talked myself out of it and I do not know Japanese. You want to talk stress, soldiers in the Korengal valley might as well be camped out in a nursing home compared to have to take down a bunch of gangsters from the land of the rising sun. But hey Thank you Ms. B, your offer is so appreciated.
Slie:Good talking with you KB, if you want to shoot the proverbial shit over email or phone or something, just send PM me. Peace and Piece
Our PMs
KB: Slie!!!!!!!.here's my digits... ***-***-****
Slie:Cool, I would really like to catch up with you some time over coffee/beers or some such thing I will shoot you a text and you can let me know what days you are normally free.
KB: Absolutely!!! Im thinking beers!!
Slie:6:30, this Friday at Uber brew, be there or be square
KB:Where is that
Text.me and remind me, I lose track with all these kids
Slie: That's right, I have to purchase more tranquilizers. Next to Venture Theater on Montana Ave. Now I got to let you go because my muscles are aching for a quick lift before work.
KB:Ok sounds good
Another Piece of conversation
KB: (Something about the deadbeat Dad of her kids)
Slie:Ya'll are better off without him. Learn from your past without allowing it to define you. Know it KB.
KB:I can't i'm so tired of him gettung off Scott free!!!!
KB: Let me clarify who i'm talking about... My youngest two kids' dad not my ex husband...
Slie: Oh alright, I gotcha and I empathize with your frustration. It appears you have your priorities straight, while he clearly does not. I am looking forward to seeing you in a couple of hours. Broadwater Panthers represent, whoop-whoop!
We texted a few times as will. I dared her to be the fun loving girl that I remember. Her response was about being more fun now. My response was something to the effect of "Do not go getting my expectations too high now KB, I want to give you a chance to impress me."
-If I fucked up, it was on that last one which I thought showed a bit of cockiness, but whatever, I was going for push-pull. I was late to UBerbrew, but I still had a great time even though she flaked no call/no-show. I texted her twice on Friday w/out a response. This was my message today:
Slie: First of all, I am sorry that I was late on Friday and for my tardiness, I offer no excuses. Second, if I set up a meeting with somebody and that person can not make it, no biggie; however, I do expect to be notified of that, preferably not at the last minute.
-I asked for advice from a girl who works at Enterprise next to Alamo/National where I sling rental cars and upgrades whatnot and she told me to not offer a long message, then wait for a response. I had a fun time @ Uber, but I was looking forward to seeing this girl. She is attractive but she is also an old classmate.
So PUA Forum, what do ya'll think?
CHAT