So, I've come up with a few initial e-mails for matches I get, and I thought I'd post them to get some critique and see what I might improve.

subject: Did you really...??
message:
You did didn't you? [Point out the big mistake they made in their profile such as:] You put up the photo with the ex-boyfriends face blurred out? You realize you probably could have gotten away with it without anyone paying attention to him, but now you've already drawn the wrong attention..." [here's the bulk that's unchanging] So, I see a profile like yours and I think to myself, you seem like the kind of fun, adventurous girl who wouldn't have any trouble finding a date -I mean, who doesn't like hanging out with nerdy girls?! kidding, relax... but I am left wondering - are you just here for all the attention (20 loveable losers kissing up to you in your inbox every day) or are you REALLY here to meet new people? I have to admit that I don't normally go for [insert her hair color & or something else about her], but something about you (other than your glamor shots) caught my attention - I couldn't really pinpoint it, but I thought I'd send you a message and we can chat and maybe I'll figure it out along the way.

If you're REALLY looking to meet people, I'm the kind of guy who'll keep you on your toes - but be careful, I just MIGHT be the guy your mother warned you about!

E-mail me, lets chat [her name], nice to meet you

-J

Any changes I should really think about or other suggestions to improve?

_________________
-JC