Hey guys, this is pretty much from Cajun. Not sure if I should switch it to be more serious simply because it's match.com and you pay for it so people are more serious about it. Tell me what you guys think!

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"If you do not get my sister her stories, and a new room as soon as possible than I will come down on this hospital like the hammer of Thor. The thunder of my vengeance will echo through these corridors like the gust of a thousand winds."

I don't think the link works so I'll just cut and paste my about me...

"I joined the site as part of a dare that went too far, but I'm glad I did. Looks like it could be a good time. I have a knack for making people laugh. I value honesty and self-awareness in others, and I'm drawn to people who don't take themselves too seriously, because neither do I. I party like a rock star with friends on the weekends, but during the week I dominate at my job, training retarded dolphins.

Interests: Doing things outside, football, baseball, lying to my friends about using an online dating service, being handsome

Dislikes: Parallel parking, girls who list their body type as "average" when they're actually fat, anyone who refers to themselves as a "foodie" or "oenophile", world hunger

Our first date would have to be exciting. Now I don't mean "seeing a scary movie" exciting. Even "bungee-jumping" exciting isn't enough. I'm talking "I crack into a bank vault while you show some leg to distract to onlookers and then we make our escape in a stolen Lamborghini" exciting. Or, we could just get a burger at Wendy's. Either one is fine with me really.

Honestly I think a fun date would be to meet somewhere with our laptops and go through this site together and make fun of the inane stuff people put in their profiles. I just joined but it's already pretty entertaining."

I'm thinking it might be the pics but idk, I think I'm pretty damn good looking lol. Here are the pics I'm using... http://photobucket.com/matchprof The striped tie is my default pic

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"If you do not get my sister her stories, and a new room as soon as possible than I will come down on this hospital like the hammer of Thor. The thunder of my vengeance will echo through these corridors like the gust of a thousand winds."

Really funny profile bro. Here's my advice:

Drop the part about joining as a dare, it comes across as a cop out. You know why you're there, they know why you're there

Change the whole complaining about fat girls to something closer to "Women who use creative photography to try and hide what they really look like. We all know what you're hiding if you take the picture from above you looking down!" Chicks are really Publicly sensitive to the whole fat thing. Hypocritically enough, they love joking about it in private.

Drop the "either one is fine with me" and change it to "It'll all depends on how distracting your legs are" after the date section.

Drop the "Doing things outside" using the word THINGS is weak. Be specific.

Lastly, the toughest part. Your pictures aren't congruent with the message your profile conveys. Ditch all the pictures (except the one with the shaving, chicks will dig that... add a comment about how all the cool guys have shirtless pictures in front of the mirror).

Some guys are naturally sexy. You're going to need to peacock a little. Add some flair to your outfits (GQ style, not lady gaga style). Keep the face clean shaven (man scruff is okay, but any groomed beard is strictly for the pros) and don't have any pictures where you're any less than dressed stylishly (undershirts are not stylish and keep your tie done up or take it off). As a rule, you should be on your game like this all the time. It makes such a HUUUUUGE difference with how women view you.

Honestly, I hope you don't take it the wrong way, I may be completely wrong but the only way you'll know is if you try it right?

Again, I can't emphasize enough, your online persona should mirror your life. Change your life, your online persona will evolve with it. Otherwise you're just bait and switching.

P.S. LOVE the retarded dolphin bit.

Oh, not a hard and fast rule but ditch any pictures with alcohol in your hand. Unless it's a glass of single malt you're enjoying at a hoity toity fundraiser dinner with a senator or celebrity at your side.

Dude, really solid feedback, I appreciate it! The only thing I would say is that the default picture (black shirt, striped tie) got a 9.8 on hotornot in almost 16,000 votes. So I feel like I gotta keep that up; I can ditch the rest though, not too attached to them.

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"If you do not get my sister her stories, and a new room as soon as possible than I will come down on this hospital like the hammer of Thor. The thunder of my vengeance will echo through these corridors like the gust of a thousand winds."