Seriously, what is it with women basically throwing their numbers at you, telling you to text/call(call whenever you want, If I am unable to answer...I won't), and then leaving you in communication limbo?

This one particular woman set up a date with me via text for next saturday...haven't heard from her since Sunday. I've sent 2 texts(no response), and 2 emails(again, no response) - and have seen her online 4 or 5 times since.

A second woman has texted me, called me - we had great conversations. Said she'd call me TWICE after work - no call. Got the popular, 'Sorry, got home and crashed after work' Then I got all AFC, and sent this text - "Just stopping by to say Hi. Haven't heard from you...wondering if we are still on for our date...'

and 12 hours later I got this response, 'Hey Sorry...been dealing with some personal crap over the past few days..yes still on. I will be able to let you know for sure at the beginning of next week when I coordinate the weekend schedule for my son. Hope you are well!'

That was 3 days ago....Just checked OKC - her profile is gone.

So I sent another text asking if she was ok, and I noticed her profile was gone.

Honestly, I feel like a complete sucker in these situations. I just don't get the whole texting dynamic. You send something, and wait hours, if not days for replies. But, 'call or text anytime!'

Am I missing something here?

1st girl is not worth your time.

2nd one give it another ask her out once more.

You're only a sucker insofar as you limit yourself to women; if you've asked 2 out and stopped pursuing others, that's your own fault.


Don't persnoalize things, you meet someone online there's only so much attraction that can be built. Sometimes they'll just inexplicably fall off, while others will follow throw - it's a numbers game man just keep on keeping on!

I agree with the other poster. You seem to be getting too attached too early. Then you make an AFC mistake.

Nobody is going to give you a number and say "hey, only text and call rarely." Of course she is going to say to text her all the time. But actions speak louder than words. You have to gather information about the situation based on your interaction with her.

Girl 1: 2 texts and 2 e-mails is overboard. Reeking of desperation. I would stop pursuing her. If she responds, and I doubt she will, then continue from there.

Girl 2: She basically said was still on for the date, which was good news. She might find it a little creepy you are visiting her OKC page so often that you notice it as soon as she is gone. She deleted per profile so maybe she really is going through some personal stuff. Maybe it has to do with the baby daddy. Maybe, maybe, maybe lots of things.

And stop it with the desperate "are we still on?" texts. Just assume things are still on. I might message her the Thursday or Friday before the date and say "hey, got a great idea for our date, blah blah blah." Get her excited. If she's interested she'll find a way to "coordinate" it, or at least she will try to reschedule. Sounds like she is a single mom with other shit going on, so don't take it personally here if she has to reschedule, so long as she seems like she actually does want to meet at a later date.

Anonymousdt -

First, let me say I appreciate your input into my dilemma.

That being said, let me just say you have it all wrong. For the simple fact that I have other woman wanting to do stuff, and if I'm up in the air about a certain date that has already been filled(supposedly), I can't tell these other women I'm free, can I?

Case in point - today is my birthday. Had plans - the woman never got back to me, and could have filled it with someone else.

Personally, I think the issue is the length of time between the # close, and the first date. The longer the time, the more shit can go wrong.

You want to be on their mind, not giving some other chump a chance to usurp your potential date...but must not overtext. Seems like a catch 22 to me. Honestly, I would prefer texting ONCE, and then not texting at all - making her contact ME next. THAT shows interest.

Like I said, the main issue is having these 'tentative' dates im limbo. I'm supposed to wait til Thurs, or Fri to follow up with these women, hoping that if they flake I can somehow jump through hoops to get replacement plans with other women that late in the week?!