So for those of you using eHarmony... stick with the guided communication, or ignore that and go straight to regular messages?

I can't decide if it would set me apart to use straight messages, or if the women are more comfortable with the guided thing since it's familiar.

As frustrating as it is, stay with guided communication. I used eHarmony for a year or so and very few of the girls I requested direct communication with went for it. If a girl is interested you can blow through all the back-and-forth steps in a day or two. Only go directly to open communication if she initiates or unless she specifically invites it in her profile somewhere. eHarmony caters waay to much to the females, but that's one of the reasons it's good - gets a lot of higher quality women. Because there is a perception that it's a premium product, you are more likely to get premium results.

In a way I kind of like it, actually. Had 5 matches, and sent messages to all of them in about 2 minutes. Compare with a regular dating site where I'd spend a long time reading their profile and trying to come up with something good.

I was a little worried that it would come off like a "wink" or something on other dating sites and be ignored, but if that's what they expect as standard then no real loss. Probably more need for a good profile though... hmm.

It's been a while since I did eHarmony but as I recall, just because you're matched with someone doesn't mean that the account is active. You need to see advancement in the system in order to know that account is still active. If you don't see any movement in a few days, just close communication. A person who's not a regular user but who is interested and wants communication with you can request that communication be reopened.

Also keep in mind that women far outnumber men on this site, so a woman is not going to get the same number of matches that you do. While eHarmony caters to women, the fact that their system is so female focused tends to skew the numbers, making things a little harder for the girls and easier for the guys. I've found that (possibly) because there are fewer guys, women on eHarmony are more likely to overlook minor flaws like height, weight, attractiveness, etc., at least enough to start conversation. If you have any game you should be able to take it from there. Just make sure your communication is congruent with the answers you gave on your questionnaire because if you come out of the gate as playful/cocky and a bit over the top, you're going to get shut down instantly. Be playful but keep a bit of AFC going in chatting with eHarmony babes.