Hey guys, looking for a critique for my online profile.

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So you want me to sum up 25 years of my life into some paragraphs? Alrighty so a great weekend for me entails good company, whether I’m chilling out or dancing a storm on the dance floor. I wouldn’t say I’m a good dancer but I’m an energetic dancer.
To describe myself in words would be easy-going, energetic, fun and genuine. Doesn’t really do me justice because this covers one aspect of my personality. I could list a hundred words and it still wouldn’t fully encompass my life and I how I live it.
Humour is an integral part of my life. I love to laugh and to make others laugh. Such as the time I burnt microwaveable rice at the office and nearly evacuated 50+ people. Mind you it wasn’t funny at the time I’m always looking for the lighter side of life though, try not to let anything get me down. I'm always full of stories to share.

I would say relationship-wise I’m honest, compassionate, love giving and receiving hugs. And am very motivated and dedicated.

I am by no means a party animal, I do enjoy spending time with people and having a few drinks but rarely wake up with a hangover. And you can be guaranteed that I will spend plenty of quality time with you.
Hopefully I can meet an interesting woman, someone who enjoys stimulating conversation even bordering on a friendly debate. She must like giving things a go and trying new experiences.
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What do you think? What would you change?

I like this online profile a lot better than what you had. Your original one was all over the place and did not flow. It was also rambling a bit as well. You may want to expand on it a tad more, but keep in mind your not writing a book here and most girls do not want to read a profile that is a book. In an article I read about online PUAing, it said that your profile is much like a skirt. If its to long, its like a wearing a long skirt which doesn't show any leg. But if its to short its like wearing a short mini skirt that shows off to much leg. But something in the middle is gold. As it shows enough leg to grab attention, but covers up enough to make the girl wonder whats under the skirt.

This is a good start, however what site is this profile intended for? Are putting this on Myspace? Plenty of Fish? Or some dating site where you have to pay?

Because it makes a difference. On myspace, your profile would need to be more "cocky-funny" then what you have here. It seems too "nice guy" -ish though you do mention you have humor and you are positive. But that's pretty much the whole profile. But you can still fix it up.

The whole burnt rice incident, IMHO, is not a good DHV, makes you look clumsy, but again there might be a way to turn it around.

The real sticking point of this profile is NOT what it says, but what it doesn't say. It doesn't really say anything specific that shows you are a high-value guy with OPTIONS in his love life.

No offense dude, but your profile sounds like you're already looking for a serious relationship on the first date! This sounds more like traditional dating and not PUA skills. And it's also needy, SPAM too much about how "dedicated" you are. Now, from the girls point of view it would make you a very good best friend though...

Wherever you post your profile, the most important thing is NOT to look like all the others, girls look at tons of profiles and these sorts of things ("I have a really deep personality, I'm really nice, I like to make others laugh") are very common and all these guys are SAYING this stuff, but demonstrating very little value. Of course, if you're on eHarmony.com, that might be the way to go! (I make no secret of the fact that I HATE eHarmony, say what you like, but the whole concept is desperate and it's statistically a scam). Like, you could say "I LIVE for the unexpected, and I definitely am not into boring people, so if that's you then it's already over!" And this demonstrates you won't settle for boring girls.

Or you could say "My heroes are Indiana Jones, James Bond, and Magnum P.I. so if you're cool with them that'll give you bonus points in my book lol" to qualify the girl. You have to demonstrate you have standards and are MORE than just easygoing. Easygoing is good, but if you're too easygoing, you'll look desperate and fake, or at the very least, careless and weak-willed.

Remember, these are just examples, you don't have to take them, but your profile will attract a lot more chicks if you:

1. DHV
2. Show that YOU are the Prize to be won
3. Mention something unique about you that NOBODY else has on their profile.

That said, all you need to do is add these in and your profile will be great!

Trust me, my Myspace profile used to SUCK, then I decided to stop spilling my heart and guts, stop trying to prove myself to women, and start getting WOMEN to qualify themselves to me. And so far it's gotten a lot more responses!

And don't be afraid to take a risk and be cocky-funny. In my profile I admit to being a pompous asshole. And I mention that my friends LOVE me for it. I'm not really an asshole, though any guy CAN be one if he wants. The humor and sarcasm is right there in the sentence - instead of saying I am funny, I just demonstrate humor WITH the content of my profile. That will save you a lot of heartache and actually get girls messaging YOU FIRST! (Lol, I've got CRAZY messages from girls that I don't know what to do with! But getting their interest with the profile was a snap once I knew what to do.)