How can I have interesting convos with girls if...



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 9:34 pm 
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I can't even have one with relatives!!! This has nothing to do with shyness or anxiety. I just listen to myself and I sound like I'm making small talk and giving short answers to boring questions. I don't want to ONLY be able to sound interesting if I'm hitting on girls. I want to make anyone laugh; adults, teachers, whatever without having spend over a year with them to get comfortable.

I want to be able to have a more than one sentence answer to any question or comment. But unfortunately, whenever I'm with someone who's naturally more social than me, they just dominate the conversation. This isn't even about girls anymore.

I can't help but feel like I have no personality when I'm sitting/standing there nodding and smiling while giving the same old answers to the same old questions about school, college, guitar (I play guitar) or other small talk topics.

I need help from someone who's been in the same hole that I'm in.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 6:08 am 
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i can only suggest to get out more. do some stuff that makes interesting or funny stories. personally, dirtbiking for funny stories and sufing for asshole stories works for me. the things you have to say define who you are to people. watch some stand-up comedy, learn the way they deliver jokes. watch some movies with characters are really sly. the reek of confidence, what they say matters. i really like rusty from the ocean's 11 remake, along with the sequals. i like that character because he is in control, he is confident and he is on the ball. find someone you can see has all the qualities you want and study him. dont become him, but observe the things that person does, they're actions and words, to become the person you want to be. now i havent been in the whole, but i hope that helps.

good luck,

PB


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:50 pm 
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I am sure that you have interesting stories that you do not even realize. Just because someone asks a question that has a one sentence answer, it does not mean that you have to answer in one sentence.

Example:

It comes up in almost every set that I have hit C1 in. What do I do for a living.... What is my job.

After a few non-compliance answers (Professional pan handler, Book binding glue inspector) I will get to my answer. It does not start and end with 'I work here', it starts at the begining that led me here.

I start when I was 8 and how something I did then led me to something else, that eventually led me to where I am at.

I can talk for 5-10 min about where I work without ever talking about my job itself.



You have not given any details so I can only slightly ellaborate but take your school for instance.

So someone asks "where do you go to school". Normally, this would take one second to answer. Instead, come up with a story behind it.

Did you always want to go there.
When did you first want to go there
Was there other choices
Did something interesting happen on any day.
Are you glad with your choice

There is a wealth of possibilities of creating a story (all truthfull) behind any question.

There is also the possibility that no matter how much you do, it will still be a non-story.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 9:06 pm 
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just sit your self down and think of the things that you have going for you. Getting out more does wonders for creating conversations. if you've got any physical hobbies these are great tell people about. Or just watch films and get ideas.

if you suddenly get an idea in the middle of a boring conversation just stop and say. OH MY GOD you will never guess what happened to me.....

this is good because if the conversation is boring you can say "i was being quiet deciding whether you we worthy of my attention" ( this is great DHV and negs"


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 4:00 am 
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Can it be a good exercise to make up interesting stories on the spot, maybe about friends or family members they'll never meet? Like if I pass a guy on the subway playing bagpipes, instead of just stating to her, "bagpipes are awesome" (which would kill a conversation), I can say "my uncle plays bagpipes, and it annoys the whole family. we're not even Scottish, we're Jewish for crying out loud, and whenever we get together, we always dread and look forward to hearing those damn bagpipes. I have such a crazy family; but in a good way. What's your family like?"


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