Hi,


I just turned 17 and have some strange mental issues, don't know how to start explaining 'cause it's pretty complex but i'll do my best.
I have some kind of social phobia thing, not extreme panic attacks as some explain but when i have to talk to someone i get 'too focused' and can't seem to relax, also my heartrate goes up and i often feel like there 'has' to be something said. That also causes my facial expression to look blank/ scared/ overexcited.
Also can't just relax and have a natural conversation often, i think of other things in my head sometimes strange funny thoughts pop up on times they shouldn't
I can't seem to keep my attention on the conversation sometimes and i focus on stupid things like how funny the other's person eyes are moving.. At the same time i think they are doing the same lol??

I've started trying out some of the 'confidence' hypnotic tapes, CBT stuff and i think it has some effect.. but i don't know, the progress is definately too slow and sometimes hope dissapears.

I THINK that smoking weed in the past fucked me up a little bit mentally. Before the weed i didn't have any of those weird thoughts and 'social' worries. And last times i smoked weed gettin all paranoid anti social, so i decided to quit it.

Note that i didn't smoke weed for like half year. I'm working out as much as possible. After my workouts i seem to have less of the problem but still i'm not 100% fluent.

Should i use weed combined with some hypnotic tape to try to 'reverse' the things how they were at first, or is this a sick idea?

I have an overall positive outlook on life and would never like to commit suicide or something, i have good education etc but this mindfuck is fucking me even more sometimes...

Basicly when i take some time of downer (alcohol for example) i don't have these issues anymore but i DO NOT want to depend on substances to be calm. I basicly need some way to 'always stay' calm and not freak out socially when sober. Because i know i naturally don't lack social skills (not meant to be bragging), i know how to joke and play around, how to be friendly and assertive etc etc, but still something prevents me to do this in a relaxed manner as a few years ago.

Also sometimes i get a 'i dont give a fuck' mindset of out nothing and feel like i could handle anything.

I keep thinking and thinking sometimes, at one time i think im crazy and a few mintues later i'm thinking i'm just making a big deal of things sometimes and i'm totally fine.

Anyone having resolved similar 'mindfuck' issues in the past? Maybe also related to weed/substance use?

Thankss guy

PS: Excuse my bad English i'm from Sweden , and shit I know i'm bad at explaining things.

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The king or the devil?
Fuck knows... Maybe both =))

my advice .never touch weed again. i had a lot of problem with that so in my opinion dont touch it. keep clean and exercise

Hej!

It looks like you just need to get the "talk to strangers skill", talk to every stranger you can.

Regarding the use of alcohol and weed, it's not a problem as long as you don't smoke or drink alone. But don't drink/smoke too much either it's not healthy

Hmm thanks for the advice, i definately quit the weed and won't do it anymore.

But here's another thing..
I was thinking and was wondering if another cause of my problems could've been
reading this PUA stuff (also started a bit on it 2-3 years ago a while before those problems occured).

For example, i read that being friendly/nice, talking too fast is NOT alpha/ cool, when having a conversation before this knowledge i would feel normal/ unconscious.
But after having this knowledge and i noticed myself being 'nice guy' and talking too fast i think 'oh no that's totally wrong' and i sometimes get all conscious and negative about it 'she must think im a loser since i talked way too fast and was way too friendly, damn i was so un-alpha '

Could it be that this PUA (body)language knowledge etc made me too conscious about things?

Let me be clear: I'm not giving PU the fault, it's probably me that implemented the knowledge in a wrong manner?

I'm really trying to find out what gave me this social anxiety, at the age of 14 i would never think i could ever have this kind of shit problem and never had social consciousness/ analizing.

Maybe some inner game help? That helps me stop thinking of other's thoughts and analzing, especially after having interactions.

But fuck that i'm never doing weed again.

_________________
The king or the devil?
Fuck knows... Maybe both =))

I don't want to force to smoke weed. It's like alcohol it helps to socialize!

Stop analyzing interactions, enjoy the conversation and it will be fine

you don't need "weed and a hypnotic tape" lol

you already figured out that weed was not good for you. People who think weed is great are stoners justifying why they smoke it.

you mentioned CBT, that is an actual type of therapy, you go to a psychologist for that. That sounds good.

I think you problem, like me, is anxiety. You need to find some way to relax (and NOT weed!). Meditation, watching a movie, whatever floats your boat

Just caaaaalm down, and everything will be fine

Yeah, i don't need weed anymore.

I've just started this 'Overcoming Social Anxiety by Dr Richards' CBT audio program, i hope it will really work, because i don't have any good psychologist for my anxiety around me i think + I would feel so embarassing telling some psychologist about this, because i feel like it's not 'me' so i prefer to fix this myself with CD's / ebooks before people start seeing me as a complete freak

I've also just started Paul McKenna's Supreme Confidence and Instant confidence.

If by the time i finished those i don't see much improvement im gonna try The Linden method and if all fails i'm gonna move away to another country for 1 year to 'improve my inner self' where they got real good psychologist for my specific problem.

Damn life is hard but i see this as a challenge

_________________
The king or the devil?
Fuck knows... Maybe both =))

Heh, it's funny, I know EXACTLY how you're feeling. I don't think my anxiety is "me" either, and therefor the obvious choice seems to be to distance myself from it. Actually really cool to see another guy having the same issue.

I still don't think it's "me", but I have come to terms with the fact that I'm experiencing anxiety, and that's pretty nice to able to say. Because only then can you move forward, and tell yourself "Okay, so how can I deal with this problem?". And it's really cool that you're making this thread, because it means you're honest with yourself enough to admit that you have some problems

I think CD's/eBooks is a kind of lame way to deal with it to be honest. My solution so far has been to talk to my family and friends about it. OMG the first time I spoke about it with my father, it was like a huuuuge load of my chest. I felt like the problem was almost solved just then. Of course it wasn't, but it was still so fucking helpful.


One of the best pieces of advice I can give you is this;

EVERYBODY experiences these kinds of things in one way or another. Don't freak out about it. Accept it as a part of life, and learn how to deal with it when it strikes you.

You are not a freak, you are merely scared to be looked at as a freak!

Let me know if I'm wrong, but I think if you're being completely honest with yourself, you can see that it's true

Hey an Listen Carefully and This will help you.

First off stay off the weed, some people can handle it but it yields negative effects in most people one of the most common is it takes away ambition. Also Like LSD(Not to the same extent since lsd is a powerful hallucinagetic) it activates cells in the creative side of your brain that aren't normally active, this leads people to see the world differently then others and generally continues long after the drugs use.

Second I don't know what your diet is like but start eating healthy especially conentrating on food that will help you relax (Food High in Magnesium and Tryptophan) Such as Turkey, Bananas, Apricots, Chicken, and Soy. Blueberries do not contain either but also are very helpful in relaxing for different reasons. Try Frozen Bananas they are awesome and will help out a lot.

As far as hypnosis goes, listening to tapes and stuff honestly isn't going to be helpful; maybe minimally due to the placebo effect but it won't get you past this issue with social anxiety; Going to a specialist....someone who really knows there shit will help but you can do it by yourself without doing that....even with a good hypnotist you will have to put in effort.

Everything else above is to help you but here is what you need to do; Confront this head on. If you don't want to talk fast then just talk slower; Don't worry about what other people are thinking because it doesn't matter......It only matters if we adopt their ideas as our own and allow them into our reality. Start doing stuff that breaks social norms, ask strangers for a drink of there water or soda, ask people if there food is good and if you can have a bite, Have a friend on the phone and stop strangers and tell them you need to them to tell your mom/dad that you are in France right now because they don't believe you because they think you are a liar (Whatever country you are in ask the stranger to say a different country) Pet peoples dogs.....talk to the dogs......tell the people you can communicate with dogs.......then tell the people in a very serious voice to treat there dog better and not swear in front of it.....Walk around with one shoe in your hand and try to sell it to people.......etc. etc. etc. Anyways one you do all thats stuff just having normal everyday conversations will be the simplest thing in the world.......so in order to stop feeling like you are crazy you will have to act a little crazy...........It is an investment for future success;

Don't Be lazy put in the work and you will get better.

-GuessAgain

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GUESS