Hey guys

Grr don't know if im just depressed a bit tonight but I want to get my feelings out. I'm really annoyed because lately my approach anxiety has just got worse and it keeps getting more and more intense. It went away for a while and now I just have a general fear of rejection not just with girls but with people in general. I worry about what people think of me all the time.

I don't think it has helped moving in with my best friend because he just seems to be having lots of success with girls and I well suck! Hes not better looking than me but he has what I don't which is confidence and the ability to not give a shit and just let go. We went out for my bday on wed and a hot girl came out with us (she has a bf) but he still ended up pulling her and taking her back to ours and he just enjoys rubbing it in which makes things worse.

I just need help letting go, enjoying myself and thinking fuck it. Any advice?

Cheers guys!

WTH? You are presented with evidence of how much fun and successful you can be if you just let go, and yet you do not let loose. That is weird. You should mimic your friend more because what he does is clearly working while you are stuck because of your fears.

What is so funny to me about rejection is that you are automatically out of the gme before starting if you do not go for it. Like the quote says, you miss 100% of the shots you do not take, so take the shot.

After going for what you want, be yourself and be comfortable. You have to believe that you are worth the female's time because if you do not hold yourself in high esteem, she will sense that and reject you. That is what your friend has that you do not: he knows that a female will be happy being with him (no matter if she is taken or not). That gives him confidence (even without the looks) to go for what he wants.

You should learn how to do this. After you have enough girls, you will have this way of thinking inside you. Until you have that, consider speaking to your friend (man to man and seriously), telling him that you have this problem and find out if he would help. If he is your best friend, he should help you no problem....

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(I LOVE THIS COMMUNITY!)

Avoid being concerned with what you look like this can hinder you or make you not work as hard and will also give you AA, ugly fat bald handsome who gives a sht.

The thing with approaching is you dont have to do ten approaches on the hottest girls in the room to get over AA all you have to do each night is focus on doing one approach and the AA will go down by 50% for the whole night so the likelyhood of you doing more approaches goes up and you dont have to have the latest opener you could even pretend to be fully afc and ask for the time or a lighter even if you already have a watch or dont smoke.

approach-anxiety-to-the-core-vt87192.html

Read this, maybe it'll help some

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How my life looks like right now: STUDY HARD, PARTY HARD

Anxiety is NEVER CURED QUICKLY. When someone has a good experience and thinks they are cured, that only fools the ego and makes the situation worse.

What you are talking about is reversion, slipping backwards. That is normal, progress is not a straight line.

anxiety is complex. A few factors:

-self image issues
-false beliefs
-mood issues
-self defeating behaviors
-poor social skills
-not talking to strangers in general

you cannot cure all of that in one day, anyone who tells you different is full of shit. However, you can cure that gradually over months or years of constant practice.

The more you give value to the sensations the more power you give anxiety.thoes sensations mean absolutely nothing... for example have you ever had a time when you were distrated and forgot to be anxious but then when you realised you were not giving a sht the anxiety came flooding back? this is evidence that you give power to your anxiety by acknowleding and focusing on it.

Distract and Divert your minds focus do not listen to or ask yourself how you feel as asking that is the subconscious habit that perpetuates anxiety. when im out and im starting to focus too intensly on my anxious sensation i let my mind drift by distracting and diverting my thoughts away from how i feel all the time i let my minds focus drift around the room shoe..hot ass..red dress..wall..song..cool lights.. whatever.
Its applying this whenever you feel sensations (operant conditioning) that will reset the anxious habit through practice.

Sounds like you need work on your inner-game. Best solution: exercise. Hit the gym. Change your scenery. Build up regular routines like stopping by a coffee shop every morning to chat with a bistra & read a paper. Read more self help books (other than just gaming books). Read a new york best seller. Learn to cook. Be the master of your day. Strengthen yourself mentally & physically. I can't guarantee this stuff gets rid of anxiety but it sure damn helps cope with it a lot better than your regular daily routine by itself.

Damn I wish this forum had a "Like" button because if it did I'd like AFCmack's post about 50 times. This same thing happened to me and I tried that trick and it helped a lot. You should definitely listen to him, he nailed it.

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In order to get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.

Try this.


Take a week break from gaming.

Forget about sarging. Getting laid. number closing. K-closing.

PUT IT ALL BEHIND. (Important!)

After a week, write down 5-10 social topics
you wish to get opinions about.

Anything from "who lies more, guys or girls"
to " I have this friend who"

The key is to choose things you are GENUINELY interesetd in.

Go out to the street and ask groups of people about these things.

Ask guys, girls, mixed groups, young, old, whatever.

Do this for a couple of day.

That's it.

AA over.

I gave this exercise to my students who NEVER approached
a girl in their life.

Worked for each and every one of 'm.

Hope it works for you as well.


Lem'e know how it plays out.

- A'

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