Hey,

I don't know what to do anymore. It's been 2 years and 5 months since I discovered PUA and I have been reading sh*t since then, Mystery Method, Gambler, David DeAngelo, Mehow, RSD. I can't make myself approach. I have read so many things about approaching fear and how to get over it. Like, look the first week into peoples eyes, then talk to random people, the working staff etc.

I have learned this stuff so fcking long and still, I am frozen when I have to approach. It has gotten so bad lately that I do not have even courage to look people in their eyes anymore. I am not a total fckup socially. When I am in state I can be good. I have had 3 pretty girls, from social circle but still. I can be cocky and funny. It's hard for me to talk to strangers but if we have some group then it's much easier to talk because I don't have the weight on my shoulders to lead the conversation and I can just talk more freely. I can't get more girls from my social circle because they are as shy as I am or they already have girlfriends. My day to day life is pretty nightmarish, just.. I feel like I am moving through life as the world is static, that I can't change anything. It's terrible.

I really don't know what to do. Starting a conversation with a stranger would be as hard for me as jumping in front of a train..

About me:
I am 21 years old and studying informational technology in university, it's my final year. I don't have any girls on my course :S Many girls say I am handsome/cute, stylish, often checking me out (at least it seems to me that they are), I am 187 tall..

EMDR

Hehe hi clone! (except for the age)
Have you checked out Natural Grounding and The Sex God Method?
Also, do you go to the gym?

When you go to the gym not only do you fix your body, but also your brain. Has to do with the chemical imbalances from sitting like a fungus in front of the computer 24/7

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AFC from hell

If you go out partying with mates talk to one and agree to give him say $100 or £100 of whatever at the start of the night, each time you approach someone he gives you a ten back, if you dont approach he keeps the money or any left over if you do say only 7 approaches he keeps 30.

Did you honestly think you could simply read away your fears? The only way to get over a fear is to face it head on. No way to cop out of this one.

I want to add something to what Chief said. If you can't do it all at once then try to push your comfort zone little by little. I am a newbie and that's how I am doing it.

Good Luck.

Thank you all for help

I liked the sentence that Chief told:
Did you honestly think you could simply read away your fears? The only way to get over a fear is to face it head on. No way to cop out of this one.

I really am just trying everything I can to understand my fears, why they are there, but.. as much as I can understand them, I still have to approach one day.

@Atila no, I don't go to gym. I play football (soccer) with my friends twice a week. That is my only sport and hobby.. or activity that I do next to school, computer games and Internet.

Before I went to sleep, I thought.. what is the thing I am afraid of? I am not scared to talk to girls, I am not scared to talk idiotic stuff, I like playfulness. So, what is the problem. Then, one post about the narcisistic personality got me thinking. It might be my ego that just can't handle failing. I have failed and laughed by so many people in life that I want to protect my dignity as much as I can. Every time I walk outside, I try to look cool, I am constantly playing this tough guy who I really am not. I am actually goofy and friendly person inside. A LOT of people have told me that they thought I was really stuck-up at first. Maybe I think that if I act like that then people will not laugh over me anymore and I am more high value. Being stuck-up can make you seem as higher value to others but it's a really sad place to be.. and if I act so stuck-up that I will not even talk to people then it's completely useless.

One thing more. I think I am really afraid of failing because my whole life, when I did/do something wrong then my mom says bad things to me. She often apologizes after but the words still remain in my head. So I am constantly on alert that I can't fck up or punishment will be happening. It always makes me feel really bad to hear those critical words from her even if I have tried to make my best. I love my mom, but.. she has a bit pessimistic world view.. (everybody always want something bad and if some personal stuff is told to other person then the information will be used against me etc).

So I am really alert that I can't fck up the approach. One good solution that came into my head in bed was.. Don't fight with the urge to feel not embarrassed, accept the embarrassment, accept that people will laugh over me, accept that they might whisper things about me. After all, if they have been whispering my whole life then.. give them something to really whisper about, if they already think that I am a fckup then.. what's more to loose. If I am given a reputation by them.. then.. by all means.. why not live up to it or use the frame they have been put me into fully. Don't fight the urge to feel not embarrassed, accept it, let my reputation fall and let it go.. just let it go.. let that huge pressure of my shoulders.

I like this advice,sometimes this little fake reasons are all you need to start approaching.
I once had a friend and i told him i want to talk to a girl at a party.He said he'll count 60 seconds until i go talk to her,otherwise he will go and tell her about my intentions and how shy i am.At 45 seconds I did it.
There is a fight between what others think of you and what you want to do.Just like a woman may need to be given a reason for going home with you,you may need one for approach.
What we must do is,unless we have a good buddy near us,invent this reason.You are not your mind so,you may as well go ahead and trick your mind.
Look,for me,this may be the ultimate tip for the opening part.

Hey,

I went out today. I drunk myself really drunk (ok, I am really drunk when I am writing this). And I did talk to strangers. I have to give props to the alcohol but.. well.. it's better than nothing. I was able to hold a ver good mood through out the night. Fist, 2 girls approached my group and we had to sing a song to them in some smoke competition. We sung, I talked a lot with one of the girls, being as self-amusing as I can..I don't know if it worked but she was friendly with me.. maybe because she had to be.. but.. still. she was a stranger and I talked to her freely.. (bc of the alcohol and it was not cold approach), then.. I talked to some girls sitting next to me (at that point I was really drunk). The girl next to me was pretty friendly, not 100% friendly, but like.. 70-80% friendly. Her friend was a complete opposite, she didn't want to talk to me at all. She didn't want to tell me her name or anything, ignored the sentences I told her. I busted her a lot of times on it, but she just did not warm up at all. It could have not be because of me, bc I was just being friendly and stuff.. Then.. I talked to some church guy.. nothing spectactular but still.. a convo.. Then.. some random 2-4 sentence conversations with some guys.

Basically.. I am happy bc I talked to the 2 girls where one was ok friendly and one was completely rude/not friendly at all..
I am not happy that I was really drunk when I did it bc it kinda takes away the reward..

The convo was not going anywhere, I sucked at that, it was questions full etc. But.. atleast I talked to 2 attractive girls. My ego got hit that I was so much ignored.. but.. still. I talked to them.. so, I have to be satisfied.

i agree with chief! you could read any book become an expert yet still not be able to do anything experience is a much better teacher then theory! the truth is you will get things wrong. you wont get sex everytime you go out on a sarge but you will get better! would you learn sport from a book? or sex from a book? no you learn from experience and how to do things right and wrong

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life sucks and then you die! deal with it

To be drunk only works on drunk girls.But you don't improve like at all.
Girls who don't drink will probably just ignore you.

hey mate,
i think the reading has fckd you up mate.

You obviously over analysing things, think about too much about How and What factors.

I suggest, you grab those two balls between your legs, squeeze them nice and hard, and approach a bitch. Now that definitely is easier said then done, at least at the first. But that is the only way to do it.

Generally, i find it easier to talk to girls that are in ur viscinity, say for example ur sitting next to her, you can easly turn around and start speaking with watever is on ur mind, a good opening line that will always work unless she is a retartd is "hello".

So do whatever it takes, and watever seems okay in that situation, dnt think about it to much, like Nike's slogan 'JUST DO IT'..

Think about the wrost case scenario, 'she is not interest, taken, or watever, she leaves, ur turn around and go up to the next gril.. big deal,,, not like you will see her again anyways.

goood luck.

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It's a deja vu...

I absolutely love this idea... Would work perfectly for me.. especially if it's the only cash you got.

hey, i've been in the same boat as you man, ironically i came out of this approach anxiety few weeks ago.

like you, for about a year i read stuff about the game, tried to bullshit myself that if i read enough, know everything and could play the game in my head enough i will be confident, one day, to do an approach.
i was a gPUA in my head but an AFC in real life.
Now, i can walk to a girl, without a doubt to just say "hi" (and obviously play the game).

what's the magic pill?
STOP LEARNING THE GAME.
Go out and dare yourself, say hi to random people.
learning advanced game tactic like kiss close is for people who can reach the kiss close.
Learning how to satisfy a woman in bed is for people who can bring women to bed (how many videos I have downloaded about this, is beyond me)

AGAIN:
STOP LEARNING THE GAME, DON'T EVEN READ ANYTHING IN THE FORUM, GO OUT AND SAY HI.

that's it, just hi, not a routine, not an opener, just a small hi.

Good luck.

P.S
don't get drunk, it's a fake confident and only hurts your success, something that us newbies need badly.

I went out today. It might seam like Mickey Mouse for you or.. for most of the people.. like taking a piss.. Taking a piss would be more eventful for most of you I imagine.. anyways.. I went out today, got really drunk again with my friends. I held eye contact with almost all the girls I saw. To my surprise, a lot of girls held eye contact back. I even held a two sentence conversation with a girl I liked.. And.. later, when she passed me.. I smiled and she lighted up also and smiled I realized that when I dare to look back and hold eye contact then a lot of girls looked at me. Yeah, way to go.. feed my ego again.. stupid.. Kill the fcking ego..

Two girls were talking to my friend and I joined.. they were going to some place and suddenly.. I was between two girls going to some bar.. the ticket was too expensive so I wanted to leave.. imagine.. they were even willing to pay for my ticket.. like... when I heard the ticket price.. I walked away and then.. one girl ran to get me and told me she would pay. I don't know.. I didn't feel that much attraction towards them and I think I also bailed out bc I didn't know what to do next with them.. I told her that I was still with my friends and that I can't join them. Nothing more eventful din't happen tonight. At least I went out and held eye contact.. I wasted too much money.. and got too drunk again..

I want to go out to club tomorrow.. to not drink and to talk to girls.. It is gonna be hard.. I am afraid that I am going to drink at some point and.. I am still shy at talking to girls.. I try at least hold an eye contact to all the girls I see and.. for the love of god.. to talk to some of the girls..