I cannot make this post too long because I am real busy. I think the main problem is inner game related and I use to have the same problem as you. Some of the things you write about, I can remember doing all the time. Here’s what I did
Small steps: I use to always go out to places and say to myself that I am going to approach someone and get their phone number. The problem was at the time I was a huge AFC (average frustrated chump) or a MAFC (master average frustrated chump) lol. I could not even look at a good looking girl in the eye well walking passed her in the mall. Never mind get her number. Although it was frustrating at first, I decided that it will be best if I break it into small little steps. I would plan out which steps I would do in the days to come. Starting with something you know you can easily. The next day, do something that you gets you a little bit nervous when doing. Make the third day something you have to push yourself a little bit to do.
Here is an example
Day1: go to a mall and practice smiling at girls (feel relaxed and calm when you do it)
Day 2: say something to a girl who is paid to be nice like a waiter (it can be anything. Even something like what’s the time. As long as you say something and she responds)
Day3: Say something to a girl (same thing as step 3 but not on a waiter or someone or some one who is paid to be friendly)
Day 4: have conversation with a girl (just a normal conversation with no flirting or plans of getting her phone number)
Day5: practice what you learnt from PUAS like operners, negs,etc
Day 6: get the number
(If you fail or get stuck with one of the steps, It is a sticking point and it would be best if you break that step into smaller bits. The idea is to not only complete the steps but to complete them with feeling relaxed and calm)
I know some of these steps are real small but it is just an example. It depends on were you at and were your sticking point is. Although I did not want to do it at first because I thought it would consume allot of my time, this helped me allot and because of it, I can easily talk to girls
Have Fun: When you look at someone who is natural at the game vs an AFC, their mind set is definitely not the same. When a natural thinks about sarging or about girls, the first thing that comes up in his mind is that it is going to be fun. He is going to tease girls and get their phone numbers. When the AFC or MAFC thinks about sarging, he says in his own mind that he does not want to do this and it is going to be difficult but he does it because he has to get this part of his life sorted out now. The natural sees it as a fun game and an AFC takes it really seriously. There is a saying that says you can either fake a flew and fake the symptoms or have the flue and have the symptoms all automatically fall in place. It is the same with body language. If you take it all so seriously, it is going to show on your face. If you are having fun, it will also show in your face. You need to re frame the way you see the game. (what is the first thing that comes into your mind when you think of girls, approaching, game, you and even the place were you do your approaches)
I use to worry about how was I going to talk to girls and I would get so stressed that I would walk up and down my room just thinking about it. I remember looking in the mirror well practicing some thing on body language by david deaneglo and noticed how series I looked. Now when I start to worry, I make a joke and look for the humour about it.
Listen to comedy before sarging:This one is great and puts you in the right mind set. I find that in the morning when I listen to stand up comedians, it improves my game one hell of allot. It allows you to see the funny side of things. They also help me with the mind set for cocky and funny. Even having the comedy tapes on your phone so you can listen to them in public places is also useful
Practice sarging in your mind before reality You know the old saying that says those who fail to plan, plan to fail. Before you even go out sarging, make sure you have an opener and know what you going to say. Even do this if you not sarging and practicing basic small steps were you talk to girls. Write it down if you have to! You can not plan exactly how the conversation will flow but just make sure you know have more or less.
Ways to keep the conversation easily:
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if the conversation goes some thing like this
You: So where did you get those sunglasses?
Her: Huh? Oh… Gucci (as her eyes roll, and then try to locate her friends)
You: Ummm… so where did you say you were from again?
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If you feel the conversation is going not well do the bellow
“Oh, that reminds me of (some random story) ”
“What’s the story behind (something they’re wearing thats interesting or unusual)”
“What’s your opinion on (something nearby that might be controversial)”
as I said in the before point. Plan the random story before the approach
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Let me know how you found my advise or give me your opinions on how I can improve my inner game technique
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