Alright as you can see i am new here. I really think this PUA thing is DEF for me. FIrst let me tell you a little about me, i'm typically a very quiet person. For some reason I freeze around women. The other day It really got to me. I was on a flight and an HB 10, easily, was seated right next to me. So without me even having to think about it my mind right away decided it would be safest to avoid her. I tend to avoid interactions with people in general but this was like never before. In no way being cocky but i am a verrry good looking guy and have some serious swag but i just don't have the personality to back it up. SO back to the story, this girl is giving me IOI after IOI, it was ridiculous. The first thing i did was pretend to sleep, and in my head go over what i would say. While I was doing this i got a huge IOI, she crawled up in her seat facing me, and let out a big sigh/moan like 2 inches from my neck. and kept pretending she was moving around when in reality she was just rubbing against me, dying for me to say anything. It was one of those things where you fuckin know this girl wants your dick, you can see it in her eyes, you just have no idea of how to make it happen. And this in essence is the story of my life, i have had sooo many damn times where girls are just staring and staring at me, and i DO NOTHING. It's like my brain just naturally over worries and won't even consider let me approach people cause it triggers of a fuckin alarm. Possibly an anxiety problem?? I dunno....But, When i do actually get my balls to drop, usually due to heavy drinking i can manage to get some ass. And when i do all i hear is that was amazing blah blah.

THIS IS WHY i am so fuckin frustrated. I have a lot of sexual experience with couple dif girls many times with each, so in no way is it that i am scared for things to escalate into sex or anything like that. I swear to god i just meet random people like parents friends, brothers friends, and before they even talk to me they look at me like some god, they think i must get so much ass blah blah. WHen in reality i do not. And they ask me things before they even have a 2 minute convo with me like....can you get some hos over tonight etc...

I think this is what happens when i meet anybody, I'm at a party drunk being crazy, funny as shit, wild as shit, just going up to any girls and messing with them, and everyone will think im a complete badass. Numerous times i've met a girl at a party drunk, messed around with her, and then the next day ill hang out and she is wondering what the fuck happened to the cool ass guy she met last night. When i am sober, i am very reserved, very over analytic socially, quiet and usually only speak to comment on what other people say, i don't ever have my own ideas. I think this is because i was teased a lot as a kid by the crowd i hung out with but they were the bad ass crowd and i wanted to be part of their group. So naturally i always go with the flow of things and it is so hard to be an alpha male because they are the ones who make thigns happen not go with the flow.

So now i'm in college, with only a few friends...my best friend just moved away, and i've come to realize that the only way i can get my social life back on track is to essentially become a PUA FUCKIN MASTER. This must fuckin happen, it just seems so hard to do it all on my own, so any ecouragement ideas, how this relates to you comments etc... would help. I want to be able to invite some hot ass girls back to my apartment and get my boys over so they realize for once that i dont have to depend on them to bring girls around. soooo please help me.

I"m in the same boat. I'm a sophmore in college and I workout everyday and I consider myself fairly good looking. When I'm drunk or even just buzzed I can approach anyone or anything and just flow and naturally be a PUA even before I knew what the game was. When I"m sober. I'm quiet all the time.

Back in middle school and early high school even I was condsidred nerdy even though I don't wear glasses or anything, the best way to describe it is like I'm a clark kent when im sober but superman when im buzzed. However there are some days in the week where I'm pretty confident sober but thats like waking up on a good day and even so I'm pretty quiet and only talk when someone comments on something or I ask basic questions.

Thing is i've always been "the quiet kid" or the "cool quiet kid" so it's always been me and I don't know if I or you can fix that. I'm introverted by nature. Its not that im nervous I just don't know what to say, but everything's in my head. I guess im socially off but like you said it's how we were raised, I was teased a lot as a little kid too but most kids are.

Well I hope people reply because when I was reading your post to help you out I said "hey this guy could be my twin" no joke.

My advice is to do what I've been trying to do and that is to study PUA. I'm reading mystery's book and then im doing style's 30 day challenge to try and help with that social stuff. I'm trying to study and master the concepts before I actually go out and do it so I know it by heart.

During social events I just flip a switch and just be my confident self I know that I have like at parties/dances I'll just walk up to a girl that looks attractive and say lets dance.

Try to learn your confident side and try to be it when the time calls. Sometimes i'm not on my confident side and I get shy and quiet around girls and sometimes it's just an off day. I'm still trying to figure that stuff out. Let me know how it goes and I'll keep looking back on this post to see if anyone else responds, or to your responese.

I think this can be worked on. I used to be VERY unconfident but somehow flipped myself to this quiet but forceful confidence a good few years back. Just keep working on yourself, your life and your personality and practice talking to people - particularly strangers - as much as possible even in a non PUA sense.

The other day the sun was shining for the first time in ages and I woke up knowing a had a good day planned and I walked around feeling unbelievably good, as if I was on drugs or something, I just can't explain it entirely. I'd got myself in a frame where I just felt so good about everything that that day nothing at all could have given me any self doubt whatsoever. No one can feel like this all the time but I will try.

In life most people do not have this all powerful feeling, the feeling that they can take anything on, and that they have nothing to fear from anything. I believe if you can work on develop this to as great as an extent as possible then you have a huge advantage.

What do you think?

man you sound like me, some things i think are the same with me, i decided to get interesting so now i do things, im a student radio d.j. at my uni, do some voluntry stuff and uni work, so that gave me a lil confidence. still have aa to approach in a place where i have no reason to talk to a person, i.e just on the road.

i number close in situations for fun though, like if im on the train sitting next to a hb it will be easy, in a shop lookin for an opinon. but my game aint tight yet. i wana be a pua master...or at least be able to come close to being able to have a shot at any girl i see. damn...i didnt no i felt so deep about this hahaha

oh dayum, im in the same boat as u guys. i mess up when people start talking to me and im caught off guard. if i initiate the convo, i almost have no problems.

Get a telemarketing job. I spend all day flirting with receptionists and just talking to people in general.

Whats the name of the issue here?

Bad inner game.

Sorry to say so, but If you have this problem, its becausue you are;

A Fucking WUSSY

You got mad at me for saying it? Good the first step to recover from your AFC status is to be angry and dissatisfied about it.

You wanted to talked to that girl on the plane?

I'll bet you did

But you werent able to do it...you wussed out. You were scared about something.

Yes: you were scared about fucking up!!!

You were so fucking scared about saying something...and embarass yourself.

But all that is just on your head, hardwired into your mind. You can succeed!!!

Ten thousand years ago humans lived on 50 people communities. So, lets say half of them would be dudes. Of the remaining 25 girls lets say 10 would be taken, and 6 would be too old and 6 would be too young. Just 3 girls would be avaliable.

If you fail courting one...all of them will know about it...maybe even the whole village finds out about your failure, and you will become a loser, the village idiot, no girl wants you now.

So, your genes say that if you fail with one girl its a big deal. But in the 21st century, so if you fuck up with a girl...well it doesnt matters cause there are millions more to game!!!

The first step to get confidence around girls...is to improve your inner game. It is a long process, it requires lots of disipine, and commitment, int short: it isnt easy.

If you start improving your inner game, your life would improve, not only on the relationship-sexual area, but in many other aspects of yout life, like your career.

I recomend you to start reading... almost every PUA book talks about inner game.

Wish you luck...And may be the force with you , really: you are going to learn to have "The Force" on your side...thats inner game about.

I relate to alot of this stuff.

lol how general a sentence is this. i dont know if this forum is strict or not but alot of forums that require X amount of post to do anything is usually pretty strict, so unless you have some suggestions for him don't just clutter up space by spouting such a vague sentence.

anyways. i can honestly say girls give me confidence. there was a new girl at work and as soon as she stepped in the door, my confidence shot through the roof, i was borderlining damn near arrogant/cocky. she was new in MY enviornment, so i knew i didnt have to DHV even if she was higher than me at the company (which she was). we went back and forth teasing and negging each other but discreetly so that other coworkers wouldnt catch on, but when we'd sit next to each other for break it was on. she started acting extra nice and showing IOI's. I know that if i was in a different enviornment i wasnt comfortable in, she would have eaten me alive. anyways for the next couple of days my walk had more swag, my smile had more shine, and my game was pretty sharp too. she only worked there for a week but when she left i felt like i was drained of all my powers.

Now that I know the mindset is everything, I try to express it and feel it all the time as well. You get more girls noticing and they just dont know what it is about you thats so interesting.

Hey PimpinFresh!

i'm new to this as well and we got alot in common, cept in the looks department lol!! i know i'm no good looking guy but i accep[ted that along time ago so that dunt bother me! What does bother me is as you say, you got the game locked up inside until you have a drink, where it escapes and releases a damn chick magnet!!

But as you s\ay when sober you find it extremely difficult to say "FUCKIT! Im gunna talk to that chick"! Well its alot to do with Aprroach anxiety and the fear of rejection!

One way i have heard of battling this is to go into town and walk up the high street! Say hello, Alright, hi, wasup or whatever you want to 20 women you dont know. This way if they just look at you and think your weird and keep walkin you will just move straight on to the next. But if they stop, well, bonus! Practice your game!!

Hope it helps

I agree with Flare. Im in the frustrating situation where once I overcome the anxiety and fear of embarrassment (this I put down to putting to much value on the opinions of others, which is a serious flaw in my game) I'm golden, but it's that first step thats the hardest. Right now, I'm going back to square 1 and building up my inner game so I can control the AA, or get rid of it (though from what Mystery has written it never quite leaves you) and therein improve my overall game.

The other issue that you highlighted was that you don't get girls expect through your friends. In my opinion if you start working on your inner game (I'd go the day game route with talking to people, making yourself comfortable etc. kinda Stylelife Challenge esq and progressing) you'll begin to make connections and expand your social circle beyond your current friends and therefore be more independant with your girl options. At this point, if you want to prove something to your mates (or be validated by them or whatever) you can introduce them to some of your new circle or bring some of those you have successfully gamed to a party of your friends. Both should prove what you're looking to prove. Personally this tells me that you're putting to much emphasis on what your friends say and think about you (letting it go is a big hurdle that I'm still managing).

Remember man that this whole thing is like building a house of cards and your inner game is the base, its easily the hardest thing to sort out and it will hurt your progress later (like it is with me at the moment) if you don't start there. Good luck.

Yo man, I know what you mean, not to be cocky, but I am by no means an ugly or average looking kid. I did spread my love a little to much. But I was never like that, until I went to college. This kid who was digging my sister brought me to the house. So I pledged, and needless to say, a little alcohol really brought out the real me. But I never did much, the girls just came to me. Strange I know, but look into a fraternity and party. It brought me out of my shell, so give it a try.

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interesting thread. i think many aspiring PUA's are frustrated by the sheer waste of their talents/potential, myself included. waking up the next morning knowing a dozen girls showered you with IOI's and you did zero to move forward is a pretty fucking crippling experience. i'm observing a particular friend of mine that engages women effortlessly and it's all in his smile i reckon. a powerful, warm, genuine, almost permanent smile is a massive aid.

See what you're getting at here; but the problem is that with guys like me (still in high school) that if you fuck up with a girl, then everybody DOES know about it!

I am in high school too.
Who cares what the fuck they think , if the girls gives u iois just go talk to her...and fuck up would mean like she rejected you...if that happens big deal, u can still remain friends with her and expand your social circle man and maybe get to meet hotter girls. At least you give yourself a chance dude ...u got one life to live and one chance to live that life...so if u do not go for the chics u like now then when will you? So stop making excuses and just go for it...if u will not try then u will not ever learn let alone get success. Go for it dude...atleast u will show that ur not like the other wussbags who make excuses for their desires. How can they make fun? They are all losers with girls anyway...and they may say stuff like too bad dude she did not like you back...wtf really atleast you are not afraid to admit you liked her unlike those other douche bags who make excuses for not liking anyone whereas in reality they are AFC pimps.
Good luck
Cheers.