I get girls' numbers from school, and I cannot bring myself to call them. They like me. I know that. But I cannot bring myself to call them.

I CAN BRING MYSELF TO CALL THEM
I CAN BRING MYSELF TO CALL THEM

Not really. Doesn't work.

Background: I used to be pretty shy and awkward, and I would sweat A LOT in social situations. Like my nose would be dripping with sweat, and I could see sweat on my hand when I wiped my face. That much sweat. And my hands are sweaty. But still, thanks to this community, I am neither shy nor awkward anymore*. But I'm still my old awkward self around a lot of people at school (and I sweat profusely around them), and I think I feel that if I hang out with these girls I might end up revealing that I am still awkward in some situations. I don't know.

Any ideas?

*I am neither shy nor awkward in situations that I'm used to, which is everything I encounter in a typical day, but I'm still not good at a lot of things. For example, I am not good at one on one conversations. I'm not a social robot, I'm just....not good at conversations. I can HAVE them without awkward silences, they're just not good. I can have great conversations with groups, but 1 on 1 is just not good.

Hey ahazaq, the only remedy to your problem isn't an easy one. There's no way to just get rid of anxiety. You're going to have to mess up in order to succeed. That's what I'm going through right now. Believe me man...I completely understand your situation. I've had a bunch of awkward and embarrasing encounters in my journey, but there was no other way to get me to where I am now. I may not be a mpua but I have made significant progress.

I suggest trying to find a wing and go public sarging in a city. Preferably somewhere far away where you won't be recognized. Try downtown areas, malls, department stores, cafes, etc. This is how I started out and it gave me enough comfort to talk to people I met around the campus.

If you are really REALLY nervous about calling these girls, then change your mindset about them. Think of them as potential friends instead of flings. That might help.

good luck!

I know that there are no easy solutions in life, like it takes hours of practice to get good at guitar, that there's never going to be a magic pill for AA.

Let me break my mind frame down for you. It seems pathetic, I know. And despite me constantly bashing myself, I'm actually a pretty positive person.

I actually had an interesting thought about "living in the present moment:" I'm actually much happier living in the future, because if I took an objective look at my present life and present social situation, I should be like utterly depressed. But I am still happy, though I really have nothing to be happy about.

Here are my logical concerns:
-I don't have any friends. Who are we going to hang out with?


It's really absurd. I KNOW that if I don't call somebody, I'll be sitting at home doing nothing all night. But I still don't call anybody. And it's not even like JUST DO IT, because I've done the same thing for... *counts* 11 weeks now.

And shit, I know that the only advice in the world anybody can give me is JUST DO IT, but still.

If you really think it's a huge problem that you tend to repeat your habits over and over again..you could look up personality disorders. They're extreme and tough to cure but i think it'd be best to make sure you don't have that.