| I sometimes have a really hard time motivating myself to go out. In years gone by I found it harder to stay in than to go out, now it's the reverse. I'm 34 and most of my friends all got married years ago, so my social networks were completely disrupted. I've since built new networks and have new buddies, but for some reason I'm not in the habit of going out with them at weekends. I'm well known at the local pub and I can always go there and have at least two or three people that I can hang with, but motivating myself to go out through the door is getting harder all the time.
I think that part of the problem is I want to be over the sarging/dating scene and settled in a relationship. My instinct is to stay in and protect the nest, but there's nobody in it with me.
For example, tonight I had to push really hard to get myself out to salsa even though it was supposed to be the night of a competition that I'd qualified for with some random girl I was dancing with three weeks ago. It turns out that the final is actually tomorrow night, but my partner is going out of town so I'm dancing tomorrow night with one of my other partners.
Now there was a mishap with this girl who I was supposed to be dancing with. I was supposed to spend the last three weeks practicing with her, but she never called me to arrange anything and I didn't see her again until tonight. I had asked for her number but she never gave it to me (she misunderstood me somehow when I asked for it), I gave her mine on a napkin and she went and lost it. In the three weeks I never saw her at the club, but that was partly because there were nights when I shied away from going out. I feel like I could have been in a 'Dirty Dancing' situation and might have been sleeping with her by now (she's an 8.5 in my book, worth catching) but now I've missed out unless I can pull something out of the hat when she gets back into town next week. Pisses me off.
Still, I have her number now and I negged her that she owes me plenty of dances, and she's keen to win me over. Time will tell if anything comes out of that.
I came home tonight feeling a bit down. I had a fabulous time, I always do when I go out. But for some reason it feels like I'm pushing against a gale force wind to get myself out through the door, and oftentimes I let it get the better of me and I end up sitting in and missing out.
I also get a little bit vulnerable to dark moods at this time of year, a little dose of SADS I think. That doesn't help. I fight that off as best I can with physical exercise, but it's tough. A lot of the time at this time of year I just want to hibernate.
Is there anybody in the upper 20s or older who feels this same problem or is it just me?
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