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PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 6:57 pm 
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Okay, so here's the way it is. I have pretty crippling social shyness. It's fucking awful. I can basically just kinda stand in the corner all night saying nothing when out if I'm not drunk. I really need to overcome this. Basically, it comes from two sources. My parents sheltered me when I was young(up to the age of 13 I'd guess) to an extent where I was socially fucked. Combined with the fact that I've got this habit of beating everyone else academically(which shunted me even more to the side), it's left my self confidence up shit creek without a canoe. It's not like I can't talk to people, it's just that occasionally(well, more) this confidence thing trips a switch in my head that completely shuts me down.
So, basically, I'm opening the floor up to everyone in the forum on this one. I need a powerful inner game technique(maybe even a few), that'll cut this out of my life for good. I'm not even eighteen yet, I know it can be solved.
HELP!


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 7:04 pm 
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Think to yourself every time you go out DILIGAF Does it look like I give a fuck?

Less than 18 - tons of life ahead of you and the people in your peer group now aren't going to be there in a year.

Just stop caring about what others think of you - YOU set the tone and YOU determine what type of person they see. Don't give them the power to do that to you. Buncha hippy bullshit but true.

If you feel you must "work out some awkwardness" do so in places that aren't going to crush you self confidence wise - go to places you never would and practice there - if you burn - big deal you aren't there to really bag the animal but shoot some targets. You crash and burn - big deal - the only ones that care are people you aren't going to be looking for when you figure out whats what.

REALAX it's a conversation not marriage or applying for a loan.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 7:06 pm 
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What helped me was just taking better care of myself. I made sure that my hygiene was perfect, started wearing new clothes, and going to the gym. The better I take care of myself the more confident I feel. When I had little confidence it showed and chicks ignored me, now that I look and feel confident I get looks from chicks all the time.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 8:20 pm 
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Okay, so here's the way it is. I have pretty crippling social shyness. It's fucking awful. I can basically just kinda stand in the corner all night saying nothing when out if I'm not drunk. I really need to overcome this. Basically, it comes from two sources. My parents sheltered me when I was young(up to the age of 13 I'd guess) to an extent where I was socially fucked. Combined with the fact that I've got this habit of beating everyone else academically(which shunted me even more to the side), it's left my self confidence up shit creek without a canoe. It's not like I can't talk to people, it's just that occasionally(well, more) this confidence thing trips a switch in my head that completely shuts me down.
So, basically, I'm opening the floor up to everyone in the forum on this one. I need a powerful inner game technique(maybe even a few), that'll cut this out of my life for good. I'm not even eighteen yet, I know it can be solved.
HELP!
Don't blame your parents, the first step in changing is taking some responsibility onto yourself. Did you play lots of video games as a kid? Did were you into dungeons and dragons? Did you watch an unhealthy amount of TV? Identify things like these in your life that are not aligned with the person you wish to become, and change them.

Two ways to approach social shyness: the gradual way, and the earth-shattering abrupt way.

The gradual way would be defining daily goals, each more challenging than the next. Day 1's goal might be talking to a stranger for 60 seconds -- something easy. Each day you attempt to do something more and more challenging, and eventually you'll be pushing your comfort zone all the time. Everyone gets anxiety in some situations, you just have to push through it.

The abrupt way is something that Hypnotica suggests. He claims to have strapped a dildo to his head and walked around a shopping mall for a half hour. It sounds very unpleasant, and I'm sure it is, but you can imagine how nothing else seems as embarassing after going through something like that. You don't have to literally do this to get the effect, but maybe go out dressed entirely in hot pink or something -- the idea is to be uncomfortable and deal with it.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 11:25 pm 
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Negsta it amazes me how you try to give others advice on Gaming when you haven't got it together for yourself. As for getting over your social shyness. You'll get over it once you're tired of going out night after night with no results.... think of all the beautiful girls around you that you're not talking too and taking home. Then think about that other guy the AFC that had enough courage to make his move on a HB now he's getting laid tonight. While you clinged to the wall all night drowning in your own fear.
I've got a house party tonight I'm going to put myself out there and I'm going to make it happen.
So what will you Do???

You've got everything you need with game materials now go make it happen NOW!!!

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 18, 2007 4:46 pm 
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[quote="SouthernCross"]Negsta it amazes me how you try to give others advice on Gaming when you haven't got it together for yourself. As for getting over your social shyness. You'll get over it once you're tired of going out night after night with no results.... think of all the beautiful girls around you that you're not talking too and taking home. Then think about that other guy the AFC that had enough courage to make his move on a HB now he's getting laid tonight. While you clinged to the wall all night drowning in your own fear.
I've got a house party tonight I'm going to put myself out there and I'm going to make it happen.
So what will you Do???

You've got everything you need with game materials now go make it happen NOW!!![/quote]
I'm okay with theory, I pick up foreign concepts quickly. If you do see a bad piece of advice I give go ahead and point it out, alright. I'm never gonna improve if there are holes in my theory. If I've misunderstood something, correct me, for the luvva God. But I don't see something wrong with answering simple questions that anyone who actually bothered to do two minutes of searching would know the answers to anyway.
There, I'm done ranting, thanks for the post, keep 'em coming.
Oh, and by the way, Mech, I didn't spend any time playing computer games at home when I was a kid, my parents wouldn't let one in the house, they were afraid it'd fuck me up in school. I'm not blaming them as such, but it's quite well documented that a child's social intelligence is built up before the age of twelve. If they haven't been socialised by then there's a strong possibility that you've ruined the child. Fortunately, I've got enough socialisation that I will be able to fix this hole. I'm not useless with girls, okay. It's just the way things work in Ireland, you get more experience in comfort and attraction when you're a teenager, because of the unique way that section of society is structured. Soon I'll be heading off to college, where opening, transitioning and knocking out cockblockers are gonna be critical to my game. These all require more confidence than what I've got.
And that's the end of that rant.
Hmmm, I just remembered that my last gf told me I was the best dressed guy around. *smiles at inner game boost*
Then she ditched me. That was last October. *confidence shoots back down to earth*


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2007 9:27 am 
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I read the first part of your sentence and stopped.

Im not going to read more, here is what i think will help.
You have to go through the annoying and frustrating, method of discovering who you are! Everyone over looks this and you probably will to when you initially read this post. And that will be your demise.

Who you are?
What you want in life?
What your after?

Know that you know nothing in this part of your life. You really don't. If you did you wouldn't be feeling shy and in some corner! Thats a sign of insecurity and lack of self. Lets say i asked you to build a space ship and you have 5 days and i put a gun to your head and told you to fucking hurry up and do something or id blow your brain out! You have no idea how to start and youd probably never be able to accomplish the task, you have no idea how to go about it. Same with this, you don't know what your doing. So with that firmly in mind, now realize your MN death, you'll probably die someday, you don't honestly have that long to fuck around and play pickup guru online, amongst the people who think your top shit. You have to take your sorry ass out and get over your lame ass biological fears of nothing.

Everyone has a core, or what some people call core values, i prefer to call it core, where you spring from. Like a key to a car, without a key unless you know how to hot wire a car then it doesn't start! you have this 2 ton piece of shit. It mite be the nicest car but if u cant start it, whats the point. Now focus on the core which is the key to all this.

For instance my core consists of the following, and i had to draw this to get it in my head, so put pen to paper man. I could motivate you with fear and show you what type of a nerd you are and how everyone will take ure girl and force anger and other emotions to convince you to take charge but i prefer to just tell you and hope for the best, deep down you know all this already, you might need someone to kick you in the ass, which is what im clalmly trying to do.

You need to let the inner looser die, hes finished, he was yesterdays shit, if you catch yourself doing something against your core, just be like "yep i could've handled that better, i was being a whiny bitch then, fixed -> next".

This is my core.

I drew a circle for this, and arrows pointing inwards towards it.

1.Courage
2.Authentic
3.Non attention Seeking
4.Pashionet
5.Classy
7.Leading
8.Not being effected
9. Being selective

So on so forth, write your values down, what do you want man? i could ask you all day long until the little electric spark occurs in your head for you to see that I'm honestly and truly asking you what do you want? who are you? simple.
Define it.

Once you learn that, learn what a girl wants in a man.

- Confidence
- Charisma
- Humor
- Intelligence
- Ambitions/Goals
- Adaptability
- Sincerity
- Worthy
- Strong

That is more then enough, girls rarely even find half of that in a man! And don't worry when shes attracted, she will allow you to fail too, failing is ok, she will want to hang on to that image she has of you in her head, and even start correcting you if you do stupid things, to ensure you stay on you path. Don't be afraid of failure, its no big deal.

Now merge the character of your core value of someone thats Strong, Worthy so on. One way to exhibit on the outside and inside is to imagine your someone, if your good, imagine your like Brad Pitt or something, watch some of his movies look at the non caring cocky way he deals with girls and situations! Practice in front of a big mirror or a friend, make sure you get your body language down.

Stop focusing on techniques, get that down then get a solid plan, look at either the m3 mystery model, or styles AM, Tylers method or any of that stuff, choose one best suited to you. I hear Davidx/Mystery best out all those trainers, thats me personally, some people respond better to different trainers and styles, discover yours and follow it.

And work on yourself daily, Mystery says it takes around 3.5 years to resemble something called mastery.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2007 3:37 am 
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Wow man. Want some simple advice, here it is.

Shut the fuck up. Stop fucking whining making excuses for what you are not doing.

My parents sheltered me past the age they did you, My grades were phenom too, bla bla bla, ur not unique.

Get out there and grow some balls.

Harsh advice? Yeah, but you look like you need it. No1 is gonna hold your fucking hand.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2007 10:36 am 
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Quote:
Wow man. Want some simple advice, here it is.

Shut the fuck up. Stop fucking whining making excuses for what you are not doing.

My parents sheltered me past the age they did you, My grades were phenom too, bla bla bla, ur not unique.

Get out there and grow some balls.

Harsh advice? Yeah, but you look like you need it. No1 is gonna hold your fucking hand.
I don't agree. Your angle, or where you are coming from, is not right. Its coming from a angry state, or a power state, not a actual state of realization. its not really helpful, even tho the advice is sound.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2007 11:19 am 
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Sometimes people are just so blind that if they even stopped to read what the write then they could fix their problem. its like firing a gun in the wrong direction then asking why it didnt hit the target.

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What a title!


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2007 11:25 am 
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"Impact" you words on values and its realization are good.. Bravo...!


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2007 1:30 pm 
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Sometimes people are just so blind that if they even stopped to read what the write then they could fix their problem. its like firing a gun in the wrong direction then asking why it didnt hit the target.
You're wrong.

I came from the exact same situation he did. I know how he feels.

The only way I got over myself is when I was slapped in the face with a dose of reality. Tough love from a very good friend of mine helped me move on. Cupping his balls is not gonna help him. He needs to understand that A) he can dwell and make excuses for his shortcomings, or B) Conquer them and move on with his life.

Negsta, my words did not mean to put you down. Yes, they were very blunt and very harsh. But understand that your problems at this point are beyond your situation with women. You're still very young. You need to be assertive and confident in other aspects of your life. Once you fix that, your situation with women will dramatically improve.

Good Luck


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2007 2:56 pm 
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Guys, thanks for the defense 'n all but I posted this hopin' to find someone like acespade who'd call me on bein' a little bitch, I've done it to friends before and it's the only way to get a lot of people out of there hole.
If anyone else wants to give me the ol' boot in the ass now's the time. I'm already working on my body language, EC and AA. Soon you won't have the chance


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2007 4:29 pm 
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PM me with a specific question if you have it. I'll try to help you out.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2007 8:10 pm 
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Yahoo Messenger: zachary0611
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Im a newbie, but I know social shyness can be a killer in all aspects of life. Im 30 and I have blown alot of opportunities and not just with women, career etc.. I think social shyness is the most important think to overcome.


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