My reports to get rid of AA



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mulimans
PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 7:06 pm 
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The Heartless Kid
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 10:59 pm 
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ok in my opinion i think that this is what ur doing wrong :

1. your opening up with HI each time
solution: instead of hi use a diff opener use some from here:
collection-of-pua-openers-and-add-yours-vt8124.html, what me and my friends have is a default openr, if we cant come up with anything at that time, and we dont wanna jus pass her by, we use the default opener. the problem with opening with "HI" is that 2 many ppl do that and if she is hot then she is pretty much tired of hearing that, and starting like that shows that u are nervous, which u dont wanna come off as, but u wanna come off as confident


2. After the opener, what u did is what i call a closed sentence, when u say im jus doing this to get rid of AA, there is no way she could respond to that,
Solution: u have to get her interested and be able to get her involoved, like a question or a little fun fact, or advice.


Now when u approach a girl dun be afraid, they dont hurt and its not like 90% of girls are serial killer, if u fail then move on, most likely u will never see her again if u met her in a club or the street or a mall, What u have to remember is that There are plenty of fish in the sea and if u fail on one, then there is always another one where u can start fresh from :)


Hope this helped :)
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mulimans
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 11:12 pm 
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mulimans
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mulimans
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masterlast
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 2:57 pm 
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FIRST: you seem to be an intelligent guy!! I mean , you think a lot, and you want to understand you feelings , in order to know what is wrong , right , what you need to do to get your problem solved.

I'm going to explain how I felt before " getting rid" of aproach anxiety. Each time I went out , I looked at myself in the mirror , and found that I was , according to me , a good looking guy. It was quite new to me. But , I couldn't approach , cause I was thinking , "and what if I'm not good enough? I'll look like an idiot , and everybody will see my failure, and I'll feel bad", but I already felt bad, just thinking of it. I read, and I understood that girls wanted to be approached. I mean, everybody wants to be seduced , everybody want to meet people , funny people, the only thing I had to do was to be funny , and don't thing about the material I was using. Because routines etc scared me, I don't know why, may be because it was like acting you know. So first I approached saying anything , and then , a little time after , I used routines, I felt right about it.

What I recommend you to do, is approaching , talking about anything, direct openers or not, approach , learn to be rejected , and learn that it's not a dramatic thing. Girls have reasons, good reasons to reject you , may be she has a boyfriend etc etc. BUT she wants to be approached , she wants you to make her feel good by talking to her , because , when you talk to her , you're showing interrest , even if it's an indirect opener. Just don't scare her. Look , you've made a girl laugh!! See your progress, you're improving, even it's just a little.Learn how an interaction works , I mean , read everything you can, about it. Because, you run out of things to say, open , even with a hi, and go as far as you can , and leave, push yourself further and further in your insecured zone, push your limit. That's like sport, to progress you've got to push your limits!! hope it helped you
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Mr E
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 2:59 pm 
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Hey,

you say it is about a moral conflict, that you feel worried that the babe might feel you are hitting on her and then you will get the nasty response.

Yesterday was wandering around the mall and there were a crazy amount of people there just shopping and so I went to a babe who was with another woman, suddeny her friend went to another shelf so I looked over and ran an opener. She immediately answered my question. But I didn't know how to continue the conversation. I felt embarrassed and didn't continue.

I am running the openers and then ejecting because my sticking point is to segway to other threads and also to close.

I usually ask if the chic works in the airport. but i do it in English. most girls don't speak english here so it is quite a novelty to be speaking to a foreigner and have had some good responses.

I get nervous when it starts to seem obvious that I want to get something out of the conversation. a number or whatever and tha maybe I had set up the whole thing just to close the babe. I feel nervous approaching but it has got a lot easier. like i say what I find most comp;licated is strking up a conversation with a stranger but I am working on it.

Well, keep up approaching and let us know how it goes for ya.
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mulimans
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7ronaldo7
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mulimans

Sounds you doing good and having loads of fun! Thumbs up to that.
Haven't done any of such yet. Intend to test in out on public first,
before doing it in school. Are these feasible for school?
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APfritzMCG
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:02 pm 
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it sounds like youre doing some day game. the good news is this is easier for the approach. usually i say something like "you looked cool i had to come and say hi." the trick is to know what youre going to talk about so think about some things on your mind. or just go situational. i would also think making it 10 approaches is a better idea than 3 since you are tripling the amount of time you go through this awkward part. one approach a day is 7 in a week. do 7 in a day for a week and youve done almost 50 approaches. when you find your groove it makes it much easier as well. with the right tone of voice, you can get away with saying anything.

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TrueFlame
PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 7:52 pm 
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Hi Guys,

From now on in this topic if it's alright I 'll post my day report in getting rid of my AA.

Today, first day, I gave myself the task to approach 3 HB's on street and, introduce myself and saying that because I am a bit shy I am doing a little talk each day to some people on street for execersise.

I was very nervous.

The first approach already was quite 'ouch!' (mentally I mean) :lol:
ME: Hi
HB: Hi
ME: What 's your name?
HB: Why?
ME: My name is [my name] (reaching my hand to her to shake hands)
HB: Walks away immidiatly with a face as if I was a fool who did something very offending.
ME: I felt very ashamed and felt (while she walked away from me) the need to stop her and explain her, but I didn't and tried to walk away with my head held-up.

The second approach:
ME: Hi
HB: Hi
ME: What 's your name?
HB: Why? (again)
ME: ME: My name is [my name] (reaching my hand to her to shake hands)
We shaked hands
ME: Because I am a bit shy I am doing a little talk each day to some people on street for execersise. (something like)
HB: (after looking confused and being quite for a while) ok, but I have to walk on.
ME: Ok, I understand. Bye.

In my third approach I chosed (because of that repeating 'Why' respond) to change my way of introducing a little by after saying hi reaching my hand immidiatly i.s.o. asking her name first:
ME: Hi
HB: Hi
ME: My name is [my name] (reaching my hand to her to shake hands)
We shaked hands, but HB didn't tell her name.
ME: What 's your name? (with friendly tone/face)
(Don't know anymore she told her name)
ME: Because I am a bit shy...(blablabla)
HB: (friendly surprised) OK.....(silence)
(I saw she felt quite unconfortable, so I chosed to stop the conversation)
ME: Well, doing this was already a great victory for me, thank you for that. (smile)
HB: Laughing
ME: Bye

Because I was so nervous, I couldn't (especially in the last approach) remember all from what she and I said. (Couldn't even remember if the last HB told her name when I asked specially to it when she didn't gave it while hand shaking)

Strange, on one hand I feel very ashamed about it, like I was (we say in Holland) the 'village idiot', and if it was very wrong what I did.
But on the other hand I feel proud and got an enormous boost of self-confidence.
You recocgines this dubbel-side feeling guys?

I just got from blankfile154 some video-links on youtube about getting rid of AA. I'm curious.
Congratulations on approaching. This is half the battle. Your initial approaches will suck, there is no way round that, just concentrate on doing it again and again. I certainly know the conflicting feelings you mention.

I'm doing this also at the moment, you might be encouraged to know you get comfortable with it quite quickly and your nervousness often just goes.

I'm surprised no one else mentioned this but "What is your name?" is pure AFC talk. This isn't a job interview, and unless delivered correctly it telegraphs neediness. Ask her something that might possibly interest her. Or something funny. Or just anything which isn't banal. There are lots of openers listed on this site.
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chevylover
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 9:05 pm 
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i'd start goin in with direct and non sexual openers.

tell the girl "sorry for stopping you, i know your probably busy and i'm on my way to X" -this sets up a time constraint

then say, "you just look really interesting and its rare to see someone with such a look about them, whats the best way to keep in touch with you?"

go from there
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masterlast
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 9:21 pm 
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We already know that he knows nothing about game. By nothing , I mean that mulimans doesn't really know how to use a routine , how to dhv etc , I told him to learn about the structure of an interaction in a previous post. First , he need to solve his aa problem , because , why would he care about something he cannot use.
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mulimans
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Mr E
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 7:31 am 
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Hey Mulimans,

You are doing great! And congratualtions on your direct approach. That is cool. Most women aren't so horrible to you and in fact are quite OK. But the thought of being rejected is really scary. In fact, the thought of getting rejected, snubbed, ignored or shut down is far worse than the reality. I don't mean it feels good to get rejected but it is never as bad as you imagine. A few months ago, I would do an aproach and my hands would be shaking and I would be pretty unable to even think while do ing the first few seconds of my approach. Now I can approach with only a minimal amount of fear. My problem is I don't know how to segway or to get into a mini conversation before I go for the number close. I feel really uncomfortable doing it.

The other day in the supermarket there was a checkout girl, she must have noticed my looking at her a little and she started opening me. She was commenting on the large queue behind us in the bank. Really I didn't need to know about. She could have just been pleasant I don't know. She was just trying to make a bit of conversation. I just kind make a lame ass response cos I couldn't think of anything witty to say or shift the conversation and say something funny, like hey do you know Michael jackson weighed 56 kilos when he died. It would have felt weird changing subject.

so, then I got my stuff and said goodbye. she didn't reply. I ddon't know if she was expecting me to be funnier, or make some move. I don't know. It was unexpexted. Sometimes, surprise surprise women can come onto you!!! and then I gotta know how to repsond fast as if it was expected and take it quickly onto having a "funny moment" or something so that I can then say, hey youre fun, pop your number in my phone now!! or something like that.

good luck bro. keep it up!!
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