| Hi,
I've been suffering from one-itis regularly since the age of about 12 (i'm now 27) and although its messed me up everytime it has occured, i've only recently recognised it for the problem that it is.
I think the problem affects me particularly badly as i've got a wild imagination and am quite introverted. What happens is that i'll get an IOI of a girl i know well, or who i have just met, i'll then go away and fantasize about her - causing me to put her high up on this pedestal in my mind, making me a nervous wreck when i interact with her again, effectively blowing any chance i've got with her. But blowing opportunities is not the only problem, its bloody painful as well. I'll start imagining her with other guys and get painfully jealous (i recognise the stupidity of this as i am aware my fondness of the girl is mostly in my head, but it doesnt help alleviate the jealousy).
I'll give you an example of a recent case of this -
Earlier in the year I was at a party with a group of friends who i know fairly well. One of the girls there (who i'd known about a year) had always given me IOI's here and there since I first met her, but although she was pretty fine, I had never acted on it. We always got on ok, but we were never romantic. Anyway during the party she gives me a couple, of what i thought were pretty strong IOI's. At the end of the night we all said our goodbyes and went home. At this point i didnt think much of the situation, like i said i had always felt she had a bit of a soft spot for me. I didnt see her again for about 3 days, and in this time my imagination got to work and the dreaded one-itis began to build up. By the next time i saw her, i felt like i was she was the only girl in the world for me and struggled to hold any sort of decent interaction with her (I recognised at the time that this was unhealthy and ridiculous as it was all in my head, but this knowledge didnt help). Eventually I just avoided her cause I new i didnt stand a chance with her, due to the state my mind was in. I actually felt a bit sorry for her, it was a though she was a victim of my one-itis.
When i've got no one-itis symptoms i have no problem with girls, and regularly have success with girls i dont know in clubs. But when i meet a girl who i develop one of these stupid one-itis/crushes on I am GUARANTEED to mess it up (this is all the more annoying as i know on many of past occasions i could have done alright had i only been able to act normal).
Has anyone else here had this problem? If so, how did you overcome it? Any help would be very much appreciated?
Many thanks for taking the time to read this post
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CHAT