Hey Guys,
I have a bit of a problem.
I am naturally a fun, happy guy, that makes every situation comfortable for everyone (no awkwardness) and ppl tend to respond to that well.
However,

being the extrovert that i am, and one that "the Game" demands you to be, i find that ppl tend to take advantage abit, by perhaps undermining my statements, not taking me seriously, teasing me (playfully, but it is kinda embarrassing when you have nothing good to say back), and just generally disrespecting me.
This is a major confession on my part, its one that troubles me most with interactions in general..

I find that (maybe due to my personality) ppl dont take me seriously most of teh time.. Anyone else experiencing this?

Anyways, i would like to know how to demand respect, Whilst maintaining the happy, positive, vibrant, and epic personality i have SPAM..

I know that ppl (they're friends more often than not) may just be doing this to make themselves feel better (few are as outgoing as i am), but that aside.. i Want respect, because damn it, i respect everyone and its hard to lose respect in my eyes, i'm just that 'forgiving', etc. with ppl.

SO basically, i need help with respect issues, and potentially comebacks (eg: how to go about thinking up something to say back..), etc.

Abit all over the place, but i think if you guys can help me sort this issue out in my life, i'd be much happier and with higher self-respect and confidence..

I'd really like to hear from you guys, and i hope many of you arent intimidated in responding to this BIG block of text..

Thanks in advance,

- Fr33stylez

Also, what does it Actually mean to "Respect Yourself"?.. i just read the quote: "People Who Don't Respect Themselves, Are Seldom Respected By Others.." Which makes me feel pretty shit.. lol

Respecting yourself means being more confident, standing up for yourself, making your own decisions, etc.. You can be in a good mood, but don't let pple step on u or decide for you

These are 2 phrases you should take out of you vocabulary (if not already done): "It doesn't matter" or "I don't mind"


Also for AMOGs, or pple insulting/testing you... I took this from Cajun

If a persistent Amog says something insulting like “Uhh dude these girls think you’re gay, you should leave” Simply smile confidently and without missing a beat say “Excuse me?!” then immediately look at the girls with eye code that says “is this guy an idiot?” Look back at the guy in a way that demands a reaction from him. His only option will be to ante up the aggression, in which case, actively encourage challengers. Nothing is more frightening to a man than an opponent who actively seeks, and seems to enjoy aggression thrown at him. Be confident in your ability to rise above, always remain calm, cool and collected. An unreactive man is a man who cannot be read, and therefore cannot be beaten.

Amog: “Don’t listen to this guy, he sounds like a fucking idiot”

You: *Big smile* “Im sorry, did you just call me a FUCKING IDIOT?” Hold eye contact, actively expect a response. If he maintains his frame, never admit defeat

Never secede from their advances. Always make them ante up their aggression. If it gets to the point where you think they are going to make a scene (which rarely EVER happens) then simply smile, pat them on the back and say “You’re cool dude, you got a lot of confidence, I respect that” this will actually make people like you MORE.

Lucky D, nice post.
Reminds me of the scene in Fight Club where Tyler is getting the shit beaten out of him by the mobster.

I took Fr33stylez's query to be more about being out in a social group of friends/acquaintances rather than dealing with random AMOGs at a club. In being the good friend, the nice guy, etc... even though you are fun and outgoing, you aren't showing any dominance; in fact just the opposite. Same thing would always happen to me.

So the first part of your answer is that you need to value yourself, not be needy of other people (even friends), and implicitly exert control over your social settings.

The second part is something that I still haven't quite figured out: how to be dominant without coming off as an inconsiderate prick. For example, someone who ALWAYS says, "I don't mind" is weak and gives in to the whims of others. But someone who always refuses is a contrarian or an asshole looking for a fight. It's true, you've gotta pick your battles and there is a lot of give and take in social settings. I'm still trying to figure out the balancing act.

Also, about teasing/insults/jokes/friends accidentally AMOG'ing you... If someone teases you and you don't have anything to come back with, either accept the insult and turn it into a joke (oh yeah, I'm such a ____, I ____ ALLLL the time. LOL) or just laugh and change the subject. The insult itself doesn't lower your value, your negative reaction does. Showing that it doesn't bother you raises your value.

_________________
Live Your Truth.