| I don't even know what's going on anymore, I would describe myself as a fairly reserved, good lookin' dude, like to keep in good shape, yet I don't have nearly as much confidence in myself as I should. The weird thing is, it hasn't always been like this. In high school, there were parties all the time, it wasn't hard to meet new people because I would meet someone new almost every weekend. Never really had a problem getting with girls, don't know if it's that I've never really had to game them verbally as much or if I've just totally lost it.
I just graduated from high school last year and a lot of my friends went off to college, now I'm stuck at home, going to a junior college that I feel has gradually killed my social life. I feel like it's harder to get to know people in class because everyone's doing their own thing and then the teacher's talking for 95% of the time, there's not really enough time to get to know somebody, past the small talk.
It's not even about getting with the ladies. (well there is that too obviously;))
At this point, I can't even keep a conversation with some of my old friends, let alone spit some game at a couple babes. I feel uncomfortable in situations that wouldn't normally bother me.
I don't go out nearly as much as I used to, (never would be caught dead at home on a friday night, now it's no big deal..which is a big problem in my book) and sometimes (recently) when I do get an opportunity to hang with a good friend I haven't seen in a while, I somehow psych myself out in to thinking oh well what if its awkward, what if I can't keep up a conversation with her and theres nothing to do..shit like that. I almost feel like I'm afraid to leave my comfort zone, when I get stuck in such a routine for so long, it's hard for me to change it up.
I hate it here at home, I really need a change of scenery. My life is a total routine, wake up, school, homework, gym, video games, soccer, smoke a blunt with some homies. I need excitement, I need change, I need to get my fucking act together. I just feel like I'm in a total rut and have no idea what to do.
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