A story on AA and how to overcome it M16 april 28 2009



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PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 7:13 pm 
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Last night in the chat room I was asked about how to deal with AA a few times. The guys I spoke to were absolutely terrified of the idea of approaching women. Just the thought of it was enough to make one of them feel sick to his stomach. I could relate as most of us can to this situation. In my opinion, opening a set of women is the hardest part of the game to overcome. After that it’s all just fine tuning details.
Opening a set of women is like skydiving. The anxiety, fear, and self doubt are all there. When I went skydiving myself I was taught certain aspects of the sport like body position, hand signals from the instructors, and other techniques for a successful jump. (Think you can apply this to gaming? I can.) When it was time to gear up and go my anxiety level was at about 20%. Then once we boarded the plane it rose a little to 45%. Once we took off and started to gain more and more altitude guess what, my anxiety went up again more and more the higher we went. While we were in the plane the instructors and I went over everything they had taught me again. Body position, hand signals, and techniques I knew them all. Once it came time to jump and watching other divers hurl themselves out of the plane my anxiety was at 110%. Thoughts were racing through my head. What if my shoot doesn’t open, what if I forget everything, what if I can’t jump at all. The moment of truth came my instructors told me “count to three then jump” (The three second rule applies here as well). 1…2…3 and with that I was out of the plane getting the adrenalin rush of my life; however, after I jumped I forgot everything that I was supposed to do. My body position was wrong, I forgot all of the hand signals, and I could barely pull of the techniques. I was scared shitless. I pulled my shoot and that was the end of that. Once I made it to the ground I felt great. Not because the dive was over and I was on solid ground again, but because I had overcome a fear.
I tell this story to relate to my first opener with a woman. Everything was the same anxiety, fear, and self doubt. I asked myself similar questions what if I get rejected, what if everyone sees me getting rejected, what if I can’t do this at all. But just the same I knew my material or techniques if you will.
I saw my set found my target then, boom, three second rule 3…2…1 jump. I went in and ran my opener. It worked, she was engaged. Then I froze, just like in my skydive jump I forgot everything. I was so scared I couldn’t remember where to go from there even though I rehearsed it over and over. So I pulled my shoot and left saying “Uh, thanks bye.” I walked out of the bar into my car and noticed that my hands were shaking, heart was pounding, and my breathing was erratic. Just like if I had just jumped out of a plane. Even though I felt this way I was excited and felt good. My opener worked and I wasn’t rejected. Even though I couldn’t remember where to go after my opener I still over came my fear. This was all it took to get me to where I am now.
So guys next time you get AA just think of the three second rule. 3…2…1 JUMP!!!! No one can force you to do this but yourself and believe me you will feel great after you do it. Don’t let rejection scare you. Like Wayne Gretski (sp?) said about hockey “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. Hope this helps some of you guys out there,
M16

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The only way for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:56 am 
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You have good points. I have always, when guiding others to self confidence, told them to think of a time when they where afraid to do something, and still did it. remember the feeling they had afterwards and if there was less resistance when they had to do it again.

when they can answer such questions and realize that everything you do in life is the same, when the idea that they overcame that one obstacle, they start to think of others and the confidence grows.

one the process of overcoming fear is understood, you can apply it to anything and be successful in life.

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"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."


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