So guys
Most of u advice people with AA to ignore it but....
If U ignore anxiety its getting stronger and stronger and even if u ignore it again it starts controlling ur thoughts and u get detached from whats really happening.
So what should we actually do?
Ya know in real life its different.

I don't believe that you should ignore it. I believe that you should learn more about it. Ask yourself questions like this:

"Am I afraid of approaching?" "Why?"

"How do other people overcome approach anxiety?"

_________________
"Simple. Escalate, if she's into you, she will escalate with you, if not, you will know soon enough." - SexAddict911

It's not really about "ignoring" the problem it's more about
'avoiding' it which I think is the main thing. You know
deep inside you want to make that approach but you cant, you then
develop all sorts of excuses inside your mind and everything falls apart...
you're avoiding the approach because of the "what if's" of the situation
if it were to wrong.

All of us as human beings have an internal guidance and avoidance
system and when we are put into a situation we can either choose
to go into fight or flight mode to make our decision. Stand and
fight, or run away.

When you don't deal with an issue head on, you're not ignoring it, you're
avoiding getting into a situation which is not inside your comfort zone /
or is not familiar with you. The best way is to just go out in the field
and push yourself outside your realm or perception of comfort
until that fear no longer controls you.

Systematic Desensitization explains this perfectly. The more
times you are exposed to a certain thing, the less it will
impact on you. Like, if a person has a fear of spiders,
and you put them in a room filled with spiders you
are exposing them head on with their fear.
If the person is exposed everyday
to that specific fear and they
internally acknowledge that
fear can no longer harm them or
hold them back...they will gradually overtime
be cured. It's the exact same thing with pickup.
The more approaches you do, the less likely you
are to be afraid to approach overtime.

This can be done
just be approaching people and asking for directions, this will
just help you to internalise what to say when dealing with
similar approaches. As you become more comfortable,
you move and up talk to better women, you make
the routines longer etc...You slowly work you're
way up and move away from that constant
anxiety you have internalised.

Just get out there brother and stop thinking about it so much. The
more time you spend inside your head, the harder it is to break
out of it.

_________________
'Bitches aint shit' - Chai

I like the analogy of desensitisation, do you think this could be applied to pick up? i.e would having a job where i am forced to interact with lots of women help my AA?

Well, lets put it into perspective.

I mean, sure there will be women at the workplace
wherever you go these days and you will have to interact with them
on a certain level in order to get things done. I don't know if it
will cure your AA fully because you see the same girls everyday,
and over a certain period of time you will get used to
interacting with those women and you'll become
friends with them by doing so. The whole idea
of SD is to keep putting yourself outside
your comfort zone regularly.

If you keep talking
to the same women everyday,
you'll establish comfort with
those girls at the workplace
because your comfortable in that
environment or setting, and when you are comfortable
in that setting that is known as a comfort zone.
The whole idea is to keep meeting new women every
day regularly! Meeting new women regularly is the best
way to get over your fear. SD is all about confronting the
fear on a constant basis.

To me, trying to get over AA at the workplace seems lazy and
not very challenging. Eventually, you will have to move outside
the warmth of office life and meet more people. If you don't,
you'll be stuck in the same position and won't progress.

It's like going to the gym and only focusing on improving
your biceps for a month. You're only focusing on one element in
your goal for success. Don't focus on a single
action and expect the rest to fall in line...
if you want the full package you mustn't
half ass anything, cause in the gym even
if you're lifting isn't good you can mess up
your entire workout. You get what i'm saying?


My advice, get out the office if your serious about getting over AA.

_________________
'Bitches aint shit' - Chai

I was reffering to a job where i am constantly meeting new women, like clothing retail, as far as going out of comfort zones go i try to go out clubbing 3 times a week minimum, but i find i still have trouble opening is that AA undermining my confidence in set or just a need to work on my openers?

As far as clubbing goes, make an effort to push it to 5 - 6 nights a week.
The more you become accustomed to nightlife the better. Get
used to meeting more and more people outside the office.
Go online and see which clubs/ bars / events are happening
in your city and go to them. Subscribe to their
RSS newsletters, join their FB pages (if
they do that), JOIN A TWITTER FEED! (if
they go that far ), make that little
extra effort to see what's going on
in your town and be ready to
go out when you're given
the opportunity!

I'm
subscribed to 3 FB club
pages, 2 RSS newsletters and
a twitter feed from our celeb DJ
working the clubs here, it makes it that
much easier to find out whats going on,
plus it also doesn't give me much of an
option for excuses either. I got an
update from my favorite club
that their returning on
Saturday (6 days) for
a mega birthday bash from
dusk till dawn! This
also gives me time to practice my dancing
in advance. As far as my weekends
concerned, i'm all set

What
happens if you hook
up with a chick and she
wants to goto a club? You might be
clueless because you don't know where to go!
Worst comes to worst you'll be stuck at home with
her or she'll get bored and leave. Be prepared!


If you have AA, don't go to clubs and try to pickup girls as of
yet, the last thing you want to do is rock up at the club
and hope you can magically get over your AA
the second you rock up...and you decide to
finally go into a set...and you crash and
burn. That now ruins your night out
and just serves as bad memories
in the future. Trust me brother,
I've done that before and
although I didn't get
rejected, I just
fucked up
badly in set.

The very very
first time I went to a club, I saw
these 2 gorgeous girls (both 9's) sitting down outside.
At the time I was very into Mystery Method so I
thought i'd give it a try. Remember, I was
still pretty socially awkward and had more
AA back then (this was like 4 or 3 years
ago). I go over, sit next to one
of them...Here's how it went down.

Me:- "Hey guys...do you know where any good looking girls are?"

Girl 1:- "Their over there..." *pointing me in the general direction*

Me:- "Ok thanks. By the way...are you both good friends?"

Girl 1:- "Yes, why?"

Me:- "There's a little test to really tell "

*...and here it comes...*

Girl 2:- "Does it involve me using shampoo...?"

Me:- "Yes! *trying to keep cool* Do you both use
the same shampoo?"

Girl 1:- "Some guy just asked us that a few minutes ago..."

Girl 2:- "Yeah, nice try dude..."

Me:- ":("

*Walks away feeling defeated lol*

After that I realised that until I get over my AA and become
confident and congruent in my inner game, I'll start approaching
girls in the clubs again haha.

See what I mean? You don't to go into a club un-prepared and hope
for the best. Work up your inner game and get over the fear of
approaching sets. Routines mean nothing if your not
confident in your delivery and in yourself.
As I said before man, try to move away from hoping your job will
resolve the AA situation and relying on it to bring you your
daily supply of women. Since you say you're in retail
you'll probably be required to help the customer
with what she needs right? That's cheating man.
There's no challenge or thrill in the approach!

"Hi ma'am, do you need any help?"

" No thanks I'm fine."

No man, that's not a real approach, nor will it
get you anywhere nor will it get you over your fear any
easier. Since you're working in the store your
kind of defeating the purpose of making a
real approach. I understand the anxiety
your feeling now but working yourself
away from the AA, this is just lazy
and half effort I'm sorry to say.

If you want to see real improvement,
when on your lunch break, go and approach
women out in the open. Your lunch break
is the perfect time to work on your
day game for an hour if your working!

Since that makes more sense and you're
actually working for real approaches, make an
effort to cram in 3 simple
approaches in that time
you're given.

3 Approaches a day for 5 days a week,
that's already 15 girls on your own time!
Do you now understand how much more
meaningful it is now...?

_________________
'Bitches aint shit' - Chai

For me, when I have AA, I first notice it and accept it. You know that saying "the first step is to admit your problem and accept it." I perceive AA as being stifled. Being stifled is being hesitant and making rationalization not to do anything. So of course you can't just immediately tell you brain to "be confident" or to "be fun", but, there are ways to stimulate your brain to go towards that direction or to un stifle yourself.

So what happens when you are stifled or have AA? Most of the time you feel nervous, the opposite of being nervous is being relaxed. Relax by taking deep breaths and be in the moment. Another thing is your voice is not loud enough, so the opposite of being not loud is to be loud. Go chant "AAHHH YOOOOO!" and notice that when you do this in the venue nothing bad will happen. But, you can't half ass this or else someone will see your half ass attempt and try to diss you for it. Or you can try to be silly, if you have a wing man with you you guys can play this game called the mimic game. Where your wingman tells you to imitate an object/animal. Then you'd have to imitate that object/animal (no half assing again) ... of course this is silly as hell and people will look at you ... but the thing is nothing bad will happen and your brain will see this and will un stifle yourself. When you notice that nothing bad will happen of being silly, you will believe that approaching girls will result in nothing bad happening.

Basically, be silly and relax and have fun and monitor you AA and notice that you have it.

Hoped that helped,

Sincerely,

Donston