i have recentley given up drinking and im finding it hard to deal with social situations that i was used to having some alcohol in.this is amplified with situations involving girls.any advice?

This is all to do with inner game. You just have to realise the alcohol didnt change who you are just made you more outspoken and friendly. Therefore just be more outspoken, friendly and confident and you'll soon realise that its not alcohol thats good with women its you.

I know it sounds wierd but try talking to yourself in the mirror. Start with how u usually talk and then start smiling and use open hand gestures to emphasize what ur sayin.......be charismatic. You will start to warm to urself as the ladies do when u act like this.

It will prob take some time time getting used to sarging sober but hey practice makes perfect.....good luck x

Ye I agree its hard man, ive just started giving up drinking and it realy isn't the same, xamplify is right focusing on ur innergame works well, some advise would be to talk to as many ppl as possible anyone u see say atleast hi or smile, try to chat up random ppl after uve done tha for a while u get a huge confidence boost

_________________
I am bound to add that the excess in too little has ever proved in me more dangerous than the excess in too much; the last may cause indigestion, but the first causes death.
-Giacomo Casanova

All alcohol does is loosens you up to let you really act like yourself. If you can uncork yourself without opening a bottle you'll see that it's already there you were just too shy or nervous to let it show through.


The only time I'll drink around a girl is in a social setting [i.e. a party]. Just then don't get piss drunk and make an ass of yourself.

_________________
Seduction isn't making someone do what they don't want to do.Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.

Given up completely? unless you were an alcoholic id encourage you to have a couple of drinks to loosen up, the top puas recomend u dont but if you get good results after a few drinks (not blind drunk!) your confidence will sky rocket.

IMO you should do whatever you have to to get successes, cocaine booze speed... lol

Thats not going to help his inner game. He will be relying on alcohol to be his crutch. I don't think thats a good idea.

_________________
Seduction isn't making someone do what they don't want to do.Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.

Personally, I drink and game. I don't get shitfaced and game, I drink and game. I can see where you would want to limit your drinking for a little while however, when first learning it can be a good boost for you. If you wanna feel less awkward in places where you were drunk in the past, my only advice is, MAN UP. Stop blaming your lack of confidence on the dependence of alcohol, stop creating reasons to not go and initiate conversation, stop the internal dialog that holds you back, and just do it. The worst that could happen if you try is that you get shot down, the worst that could happen if you don't try is that you shoot yourself down inside.

_________________
Amor est Vitae Essentia

I disagree, i had a couple on saturday night and was able to approach a 2 set - had I not drank i probably wouldnt have had the guts. the interaction went well and left me full of confidence. success breeds confidence.....

[quote="Methuselah"]Personally, I drink and game. I don't get shitfaced and game, I drink and game. I can see where you would want to limit your drinking for a little while however, when first learning it can be a good boost for you. If you wanna feel less awkward in places where you were drunk in the past, my only advice is, MAN UP. Stop blaming your lack of confidence on the dependence of alcohol, stop creating reasons to not go and initiate conversation, stop the internal dialog that holds you back, and just do it. The worst that could happen if you try is that you get shot down, the worst that could happen if you don't try is that you shoot yourself down inside.[/quote]
yeh that makes alot of sense thanks man!

Ok its easy as this, sucha s Meth say u can Drink and game, But thats not my point, my point is as simple as this, u cant Game cause u are sober, u are pissed, if u really on alcohol just to hellp u boost your opoening skils u are not ok,


If u need to drink to game to overcome social shyness u got a lil´problemo over there.

_________________
Que le digo a la muerte, tantas veces llamada a mi lado,
que al cabo se ha vuelto mi hermana?

-"I Can Bend Your Mind"- Sovnarkom

Man, don´t drink to get confidence. It will make you depend om alcohol and turm you in to a pua anonymous or something!

this is why you need to learn the ropes sober, then do it drunk. u gota be a master at it sober to be able to pull it off drunk.

Personally i lose my wit which consists primarily of cynicism, and just become dumb and happy (actualy im drunk now).

you should never use alcohol to feel comfortable around girls unless u already do sober.

i have also recently given up drinking to the extent i have in the past(near alchoholic levels) and am finding it hard to game without a few drinks in me. what i have found is that yes you have to work on your inner game, learn to dance a bit, so that you're not the awkward sober guy on the dance floor, be loud and outrageous. i have to say though that i do still have a drink or two at a bar just b/c i am a bit fidgety and if i have a beer in my hands, empty or not, i can atleast not look strange. definately takes some getting used to though. the talking in the mirror and talking to randoms are both great warmups that i plan on using more and more to take away the strange feeling of soberiety, there really is no other way to get over that.

Approaching a girl with a drink in your hand is one thing, but being visibly intoxicated while approaching is another. I think it depends on your personal "game," but say if you're a noob and you rely solely on canned material, then I don't think drinking is a good idea. If you have internalized your game and you can run, say, The Cube without having a drunken brain lapse, then god bless.

Personally, I'm equivocal to the idea of drinking. I drink very lightly anyway (I've spent some years teetotal in my adult life), and find that the relatively small amount that I drink has no discernible effect on my ability to speak to women.