HOW I BEAT APPROACH ANXIETY



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PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 9:58 pm 
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Joined: Sat Nov 15, 2008 6:06 pm
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Location: D.C.
i used to be afraid to talk to girls. i wouldnt even make my move if the girls opened me. it was pretty sad so i decided to do something about it. when you're on the outside and you're looking in, opening a set seems terrifying. your adrenaline rushes and you get sweaty palms, fear, etc. but it doesn't have to be this way 8) i noticed that the first set is the hardest. after i open my first set i'm on fire and on a roll. i can open 20 more sets. the hard part is finding the motivation to open your first set. you have to say to yourself
"i will not leave here tonight without opening at least one set". make a bet with yourself and challenge yourself. i'm a competitive guy and i hate losing, even if the bet is just with myself. YOU DO HAVE SOMETHING TO LOSE IF YOU DO NOT APPROACH! but you also have everything to gain if you do approach. i used to say to myself "i dare you to approach that blonde hb standing there. if you dont approach you're a pussy and a coward." now, i dont know about you, but i would hate to be a pussy coward haha. so i just approached. do this over and over and your AA will go away. the more comfortable you are with approaching, the easier it gets.
another idea is to go out with a friend and tell the friend to dare you. yeah, it sounds stupid. but it works. tell your friend of your plan before you enter the club. he should dare you to approach any hb. f you dont fulfill the dare then you will just feel like a punk in front of your friend. if you approach then you get respect. personally, i get my motivation when people tell me that i cant do something. i told my friends that and their dares sounded like "i bet you dont have the ball to talk to that girl. she's so hot, you dont have a chance." that motivated me to go up and talk to the girl and close. this isnt revolutionary, i'm sure other people thought of this before. i jsut wanted to put it out there.
now i'm AA free. give it a try.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 02, 2009 2:49 am 
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nice. i like the idea of a friend daring me. Itll help me get over that thin line that keeps me from opening my mouth

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" Difficult takes a day, impossible takes a week"


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2009 3:48 am 
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Location: Ottawa, ON, Canada
I feel more intimidated when i'm challenged to do so. I just stick to the good old 3sr I end up being more natural that way being as i can't use something canned and ready to go (Not that it matters much at my age)


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:43 am 
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Joined: Tue Dec 23, 2008 12:49 am
Posts: 135
I've never done pick-up with friends. I've almost done it when I was with my cousin, but he lives in Vancouver so I don't get to see him too often. We went to the theatre a couple times. The first time he didn't want to pick-up the girls sitting by us afterwards when we went to Starbucks. The second time I accidentally opened a 24 year old with a baby. That was a really fun one, and we had a really nice conversation about the movie title Bangkok Dangerous... :P


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