What I recently did for exactly this issue was to make a list of what topics:
A. I am genuinely interested.
B. I have very strong feelings.
C. I am competent to discuss.
(Note: for me C is a requirement, because I really don't know much at all about some topics I am interested in or am passionate about, and if I start talking about them it quickly becomes obvious I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.)
When I looked at my list I realized... "Oh my God, I'm a total nerd!"
But then I remembered back to what Style said in "The Game", that whatever your interests, bring HER into MY world, instead of the other way around. I started striking up conversations about my interests, and have been amazed to find out just how many women out there know more than I know about Adobe Photoshop or hydroponic gardening. I've been amazed just how many women really can hold their own in conversations about stem cell research and self-help books. And I've been just as amazed by how many women want to listen to me talk about culinary arts, wines, and electronic gadgets. ... ... Then, I've been completely unsurprised at how fast a woman's eyes will glaze over if I start in about sports.
Anyway, I don't know about your situation specifically, but I once felt exactly as you stated about chatting and small talk, and I realized that my problems came from two places. First I felt inadequate to talk about the topics I THOUGHT other people wanted to talk about, and secondly I felt that other people were incompetent to talk about the topics I really cared about. I changed my viewpoint on those two and I'm doing a lot better. I hope something in here helps with your conversation flow.
