I know the title sounds stupid, but I usually am pretty quiet around people I don't know. I don't like fluffing; I think it's pointless and doesn't get you anywhere, is boring and makes you appear boring. With that being said, how would you start a conversation with somebody you just met and not fluff? I'm only funny around certain people so I don't rely on humor as a base.

learn how to make small talk sexy and interesting to woman. Your right, normal AFC fluff is a loser.

You say learn how, but you don't give me any starting point. This is something I already know I have to do. How do you do it? For example, how have you approached women before[what have you opened her with] and what did you talk about to keep them interested?

Stop limiting yourself. I don´t like this whole "I am only funny around certain people" thing. I am sure you have the potential to be funny around whoever you want to, but are mentally limiting yourself. Just saying.

1. Opening is easy. Almost anything goes, really. It´s not a matter of what you say, but how you say it and the vibes you transmit with it. Dammit, I have opened girls by poking them (they were turning their backs to me and I couldnt be arsed with walking around them) and yelling "BOUNCE HAS POKED YOU IRL LOL" and it has worked.

2. Crash and burn, bro. There are enough posts on here about potential talking subjects / other entretainment sources. But in the end, the only thing that will get you better at talking is practice. Talk to girls in clubs. Talk to other dudes. Talk to the girl at the till of the supermarket. Talk to the cleaning staff. Talk to your family and friends. Talk; not because you want anything out of it, but just for the sake of conversation.

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404 game not found

Try this. Talk about you. Talk about how you are feeling and about things that are pressing in your mind right now. I used to think it was just about letting the woman yammer on forever and nodding your head and occassionaly mumbling "Uh huh." but the most alpha thing you can do is talk about yourself and what's going on in your world. It's also a sign of confidence and demonstrates that you have your own life with interesting things going on it (DHV).

Learn to embellish. This goes into how to be a good story teller. Maybe you were out at a club and some guys got into a fight out front after last call, and you saw it. That's very common and not very intriguing, but you need to tell that story like you were out partying all night and were involved in this crazy brawl that went down and you almost died and shit. Don't lie necessarily, but just embellish the facts and twist it around to sound really amazing.

A girl wants a guy to come up to them and start telling them some cool, funny, interesting stuff. They don't want a guy to just come and say "What's up, your hot." But it doesn't have to be a script or routine you have rehearsed either. You can just be natural and tell stories about your life and things that are going on inside your brain right now. Some girls will find it interesting, others might not, but that's life.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Every decent book on pickup cover this topic extensively, I didn't answer because its too all encompassing for a reasonable sized post. Read some material, get a basic PUA education, then come back and ask appropriate questions. Otherwise your wasting everyones time.

This is a free forum, do some research and take some responsibility for your own problems.

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The natural "Steve" who trained Richard La Ruina (Gambler)

http://www.authenticpua.com/primal-seduction/

jinx

Thanks for the responses. I was writing this when I was pretty depressed about the direction Ive been headed. I think what I really need to do is go out every night until I do see a noticeable improvement. Unfortunately I can't do that right now but I'll put in as much effort as I can.

Steve, thanks for that. I do need to take responsibility for my own problems. For too long I've been sulking about my situation, but I really haven't put forth much effort to resolve it so I shouldnt be complaining. Well, I'll find a solution somehow.

When I started out I used to have a similar problem.. I tried putting on this fake persona an wanting people to accept it but not being congruent with myself people catch on Its all about finding a true genuine intrest in a convorsation if your curious about something or someone it makes it easy to talk about but you have to be genuinly curious dont ask questions you dont care to hear the answers to! hope this helps you out buddy

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Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
Sir Winston Churchill

You don't need to go out every night to improve your talking skills. You can do that any day and every day, and for most of the day!

The bottom line with this is, I feel, just do it. Force yourself to talk. I'm not shy, but sometimes I find myself feeling out of the loop and not in a conversation, because I quite simply struggle to find anything to say. But I think the thing to do here is just to say something. Anything really. Just say it. At first you might say a few stupid things, but at least you're saying something. The more you do this, the better you will become over time.

I genuinely believe that what is needed is not verbal techniques and skills and teaching about how to tell a good story etc. The majority of people can do this reasonably (certainly adequately) well already. I mean think of when you're in a group with your friends, or when you're with people who are of much lower social status than you - I bet you probably talk quite comfortably. You say you're funny around certain people, why is that? Obviously it's not that you're a boring fart, it's just that something stops you from being funny around other people.

Now, I don't really think we even need to have a conscious awareness of what that reason is (who cares whether it's because you're shy, or whether it's because you're quiet, or because you're scared of making a fool of yourself or whatever). What we need to do is get over it regardless of what it really is holding us back.

And I think just simply going in and thinking SAY SOMETHING (I say "simply", it's harder than you think a lot of the time), is usually a good start. If you say something, the conversation will often pan out quite nicely. We all know the rules of conversation etc. because we can (usually) all hold a normal conversation with someone, even if it's only one really close friend. So if you say SOMETHING/ANYTHING then the conversation will soon start to fall into a 'normal conversation' pattern and you're away. I also think that, if you're in a group, just saying something will make others aware that you're there. And normally, if you're in a group and people know you're trying to be part of the group, they'll accommodate you (unless you're in a really bitchy group). So if you just simply say something, even if it comes out as ridiculous and silly, then people will be more open and give you more opportunities (even if it's a non-direct opportunity) to jump in and join in more.

I suppose really you're using the fact that most people will naturally continue a conversation. If you go up to someone and ask them something non-threateningly, they're probably going to respond to you quite well. Not many people would ignore a request for directions from someone who is lost, for example. By just saying something, the whole conversation sort of unlocks itself and lets you dive in. You feel more comfortable once the conversation has started, and it gets easier (especially when you get more practice).

Thanks for those responses, helped me out alot.

Yeah SOMETHING is holding me back from talking. I think I just have to bull forward, because honestly I don't have anything to be afraid of from these people. I think its all in my mind, most of the time I have trouble talking to girls because I won't want to say something stupid and 'lose her' so to speak, but by not saying anything I've already lost her.

I know I dont have to go out every night, but I'm a good dancer and I feel I should play into my strengths. Rather than addressing this problem head-on, I'm going to attempt to #1 get the balls to dance when other people are watching(I usually only start dancing when I get super fucked up or its a dark dance floor), and #2 get the balls to dance with a girl, and then I think I'll be in a much better mindset. I just need to get my foot in the door.

Dale Carnegie would disagree completely. Writer of How to Win Friends and Influence People he entails that readers provoke others to speak of themselves.

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"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." Friedrich Nietzsche

How many HB's did Dale Carnegie bang?

Nuff said.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

This is great advice for making friends, its bad advice for gaining a woman's attraction unless done int he right way at the right time.