I've had this terrible problem being shy since I was very young like 4-5 yrs old from what I remember. I wasn't able to even talk to some of my very close relatives for years due to shyness, I got over that eventually. But when I was in school everyone knew me as being the quiet one, believe it was terrible, it pushed me deeper inside my shell. Don't get me wrong people were nice to me in high/secondary school but it is so frustrating to be known as the shy/quiet guy back home. I'm going into my second year of University now in a week or so. I want to actually meet new people, make friends and meet women. I did not make any new friends last year, I drive to Uni by the way which makes it tougher to go out and stuff. I love to go out drinking/socialising with friends back home, I don't mind pubs or clubs, they are fun! I don't think I'm ugly in anyway and have somehow managed to attract solid 7's. My big problem is conversation! My eye contact is pretty much perfect now. Plus I am going to visit one of these 7's in a couple of weeks time and I want to appear confident and just have plenty to say! I plan on joining a few clubs and volunteer when i'm back to you just so you know, whether my head wants me to or not! Any help would be great and is hypnosis effective?

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I am here to learn and never give up.

I've got the same problem, except people weren't nice to me growing up. Really messed up my inner confidence. Will keep an eye on this thread.

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The Asian Don(in the future anyways... )

There is a fundamental your missing. Shy guys are usually very good with social skills but they're unaware that they actually have these skills. This was exactly what happened to me. The way to get rid of it is to face your fears. This means you have to go out and do the things your afraid doing the most. For example if your afraid of approaching solid 10's you go out and approach every single 10 you see. At first you might want to have a friend to force you to do these things. But after a while you'll get the hang of it. The main point is you have to be who you want to be and "not give a fuck about what anyone else thinks" and say exactly what's on your mind or what is going to be fun for you. It's incredible what this can do for you. You will start getting better reactions from people because you REAL and not trying to pander. You yourself will be surprised of what your capable of. At first you will be very nervous and it will probably be the worst time of your life. But after you finish doing it you will feel so much better.

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"Experience is the teacher of all things"

You're shy because you lack confidence doing certain things. You lack confidence either because you are inexperienced or because you have negative experience with people (teased &bullied).

1.) You need to try new things.
2.) You need to generate the confidence to face your fears.
3.) Perhaps you need a mentor.

At the end of the day its about carving out an identity. THats what you want to do.

Shyness is based on an identity: "I'm this shy guy who never talks to people, therefore I can't talk to people and I'll always be shy." Then your actions and words continually reinforce that idea. You need to target that part of yourself and beat the living shit out of it. Start doing things that defy your persona as a shy guy. Do things that your friends will say "Wow, I never thought you'd do something like that!"

Someone earlier said to approach every 10 you see. That's a good theory, but if you lack inner and outer game, you'll be solidly rejected every time, there's no doubt about that. While that may break you of some of your shyness, it won't help your self-esteem. I believe there is a happy medium though.

The pua I winged with this weekend was awesome. He grabbed this two set of fat black girls at the mall and just started walking wih them and hugging them and talking them up. They were like 3's, but he didn't give a fuck. It didn't matter, he was warming up. Then later that night he opened this gorgeous HB9.5 who was somehow sitting all by herself at the bar. He still didn't give a fuck. I guess what I'm saying is just open any set you come across and don't overthink it. That alone will help to break you of your shyness.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Coming from someone who used to have to get drunk to approach, this is my advice but I can only tell you my route. A lot of people may disagree with me.

Alcohol DOES help, although if you're going out several nights a week this is not an option unless you want a negative bank account, destroyed liver and serious drinking problem. But it does help with the initial approach anxiety and it will help to get you into state quicker. If you're going to go down this route then take the first 2 weeks where every night when you're out you've had a certain amount to drink. Next 2 weeks have 1 less beer/shot/whatever than usual. 2 weeks after that 1 less than that etc. until you will be at a level where you have a normal amount of approach anxiety when you're sober if not less (depending on how much you've been approaching)

If you don't want to do that then simply start of by saying hi to people who walk past you. Don't try and stop them just say hi as you walk by. If you're in a bar go around and just cheers everyone.

Good luck!

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The rules of the game can get you laid, loved, married, immortalised. They can also get you betrayed, dumped, depressed, stalked, beaten, stabbed, shot.

Handle them with care.

You shouldn't use alcohol. You run the risk of embarassing yourself, getting into a fight, or getting arrested or even worse being a complete asshole!

Depends how much. Sure if you line up 20 shots that night ain't gonna end well whatever happens.

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The rules of the game can get you laid, loved, married, immortalised. They can also get you betrayed, dumped, depressed, stalked, beaten, stabbed, shot.

Handle them with care.

I've never understood the PUAs fear of alcohol. Have fun, relax, have a beer! Sure if you're sarging properly you shouldn't get drunk but I always have at least one if I'm out in the evenings. The method given above is how I overcame approach anxiety, and before you say "Yeah but you still need alcohol" no, I'll open a few sets first and if I get a girl who's really engaging I'll say "I'm getting a drink, coming?" (Isolation) then if/when they ask for a drink I say "No, you get these ones, I'll get the next ones that's how I do it with my friends. Or are you one of the manipulative girls who just wants to use me for alcohol then throw me away" (all said with a half smile)

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The rules of the game can get you laid, loved, married, immortalised. They can also get you betrayed, dumped, depressed, stalked, beaten, stabbed, shot.

Handle them with care.

The positive with alcohol is it gets you in the mood of approaching girl and makes you realize what your capable of if you get into the right mindset. The problem is the next day when you wake up after your hangover you go out and say to yourself "why can't I do the same thing I did yesterday". The answer is because yesterday you had alcohol and now you're sober. And this is an incentive to go drink again.

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"Experience is the teacher of all things"