Shortly, I had severe AA before. Found the source in caring what other people thought of me. Now I almost got rid of that completely.
I'm approaching 3-4 (or more) sets easily. Usually 8s plus.

But this...this was something else.

I was coming back from the holiday by bus, by night.
Bus had around 40 people in it...around 3/4 full. It was dead quiet, couldn't hear the engine or anything...you could hear people breathing 10 yards away.

On one stop a gorgeous girl went in...completely my type (a 9.5). And sat in the front row with no-one sitting next to her, around 7 rows in front of me. She turned behind and looked at my direction, then turned back and started flinging her hair.
I was one of the few guys in the bus and 1 of 2 who was positioned so he can see the hair flinging...so naturally I took that as a signal towards me.

BUT I couldn't get myself to approach her...all those judging eyes...she was in the front row, dead quiet. What if she blew me off, or I fucked it up somehow?
Oh the judging...
She turned around and looked at me 2 more times during the trip and kept flinging her hair...and I still couldn't do it...

All I had to do is say "Hey, I am MaynardJamesKeenan." and sit down next to her...but those damn judging people lol

Fml...I thought I'm over this.
Now I feel guilty...like I missed a great thing...like I disappointed her.
Damn, I'm such a pussy.

AA never goes away

but you can build momentum

it is like every day the first approach of the day is the hardest, the last approach of the day is the easiest, and the more you approach on a regular basis from day to day, the easier the 1st approach gets, but as soon as you take time off from approaching, that first approach gets way harder again

Don't beat yourself up too much. It's one thing to open someone in a public setting like a nightclub, where people are doing their own thing. Opening someone in a library or a bus, where everyone can hear your conversation? I'd have been nervous too.

I actually remember opening a girl on a bus, but that was a few years ago, and my friends clowned me about it for the rest of the week. In retrospect I don't regret doing it. Better to go for it than to sit on the sidelines. But it shows you that you have to be a little more smooth, and care a lot less about what anyone will have to say.

I think it's great that you're pushing yourself. Just keep things in perspective.

Well, I was working heavily on the "caring what others think of me" thing for a while now.
Last 10 days of my vacation I was walking on the beach/nightclubs with gold nail polish (first 2 days was rainbow polish but I found it distasteful). It started as a joke with my girl-friends but I kind of took it and rode it till the end.
Man, when the sun shone it, there wasn't a person who didn't see it...and I honestly didn't care one bit. I even kept buying ice creams as an excuse to keep my hand near my face, so even more people can see it.

Now I took it off but I'm thinking of putting it back. Wearing it in my gym where people know me and encounter me all the time, will be another level.

Anyway, at that point I was going out 15 days in a row so can't really say that the momentum is to blame.
It's probably the lack of sleep. Didn't sleep for 40 hours at that point. Felt depleted and with 0 state I guess.

Lack of sleep is probably the reason why I care about this enough to write a thread also. I'm just cranky.

Cheers

I feel the same way man, I feel like i have it pretty well under control, however when your there in the spot and your states not where it could be, that split second of indecisiveness can turn a wee snow ball into an avalanche, I'm not going to offer you any advice because this is still something that I'm (and I'm pretty sure everyone) is dealing with, just a friendly heads up.. your not by yourself dood.

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Hey, I'm medium skill level, looking to take my game to the next stage, I want more attractive woman then I'm used to and improve my skills in calibrating.

Anti-AA = YOLO
You're doing everything just to have a crazy and effing awesome life.
Look at all the things you can't do if you're a pussy.
Then look at others, they'd be like, "DAMN he's actually doing that? Wish I could live like that, but I'm such a pussy."

I YOLO so I'm better than the rest. I have guts, so I'm better even if I fail. You allow yourself to fail, so you won't feel bad about it.

(I don't like YOLO myself but fuck it LOL)

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LIFE IS A FUNNY MOTHARFUCKUR. ;3

Approach anxiety happens to all of us. It's impossible to get rid of. Just take it on the chin and focus on the great overall progress you have made.

Two steps forward. 1 step back. You are still moving forward.


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Always live life to the fullest | Shy College Student loses Virginity: spam

I finally dealt with my social anxiety.

The problem was that I kept overanalyzing what's happening outside of me and totally forgot how I felt in the situation.

Now I don't even care what's going on outside, I take all the attention on how I feel and how I could feel better, more powerful, free. I think this kinda cures AA too.

Just think of yourself and nothing else, how you feel better, what do YOU want, not the girl.

Like you just go up to her and tell her "I just wanted to tell you how HAWT you are." (Though, that's not what I would do.) or just pull a slight prank on her or something, you're sure to enjoy that. Fuck what happens outside of you and what could go wrong, NOTHING will go wrong if you concentrate on your goals.

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LIFE IS A FUNNY MOTHARFUCKUR. ;3

I disagree that AA is impossible to get rid of. I'm on my way of getting rid of it right now... I can almost feel it disappearing.

There are a couple of books that helped me out with this (I'm sure there are many others) and I bet this is not something unheard off around here... but I don't think people get this stuff seriously.
Also, this is far from being just about AA. It's about getting rid of stress, making happiness your default state, living in a moment, boosting charisma, stop caring about what people think about you, stop taking things personally...

I'm talking about the importance of getting rid of your ego and truly accepting death.

I'm thinking about writing a thread about this but I'm not so good of a teacher so it might take a while to do it correctly.

Forget all your thoughts and worries, play games with everything, no-one cares what happens.

If you put that belief in strongly enough, AA, SA and other insecurities = gone for good.


I was with my gf yesterday and my thoughts went like, fuck this shit, I want to be a beast so I will be a beast. Mind clicked.

PS. You'll probably start thinking "dafuq am I doing this for? I'm working for nothing? WOW, I'm wasting my goddamn life doing useless, lame, boring shit just so people I don't know and don't care about could know what I know? DEWD. I better go out and do something extremelly stupid."

Don't be afraid of stupid, lol. p;

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LIFE IS A FUNNY MOTHARFUCKUR. ;3

Number one you're on your way to success. But first of all you have to realize that even the best of PUA's have moments like this. It's ok to fail. Your not perfect nor will you or anyone ever be perfect. People are right it's impossible to get rid of AA. However it's possible to control it. AA is all bout how you deal with it. It's like a roller coaster. The first time you go your scared as shit. Second time not so much. 100th time not so much but you still feel the thrill and shivers but you don't care about these shivers because you have done it 100 times and know it's not as scary as it looks. Same with AA. A suggestion for you is as follows next time you fail at anything instead of saying FML I suck say "what will do I have to do to make a situation like this successful next time". Have a optimistic way of looking at things. Good luck.

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"Experience is the teacher of all things"

As I came to understand it, there are 5 primary fears that we men have when it comes to approaching women.

They are the most common of fears that guys personally told me they experience when approaching women.

1. Fear she will reject me harshly and be rude to me
2. Fear she will think "I'm weird" and like I'm a creepy
3. Fear other people will laugh at me and judge me
4. Fear of not knowing what to say after "Hi"

So the consequence of these fears is we guys DON'T APPROACH the woman we want, we get a blank mind, that sinking feeling in our stomach comes up and we just stare at the woman like a deer caught in the headlights.

I've tried most of the advice out there like "ask her for time" and "say hi to 5 women a day" but didn't work - EVER - because I couldn't continue the conversation from that to a more "sexual" conversation.

Well after 7 years of researching this and trying to create a technique that would solve all of the fears at once, I've finally figured it out and created a technique that ELIMINATED my fear of approaching women in UNDER 57 minutes.

After I did the technique, my fear somehow LEFT my body, I didn't have that sinking feeling anymore - and I felt I could approach any woman I wanted.

You can try the technique at volcanoconfidence.com or by visiting this link www.volcanoconfidence.com

Talk to you again,

Phantom

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Test out my new Approach Anxiety technique, that eliminates your AA
in UNDER an hour (2022 updated)

You can try it here Here: New AA Cure

I read some replies.. not all. Dude most people don't want to talk on public transportation. In this situation you did the right thing and let it pass. There was WAY too much of a chance for getting blown out or rejected quickly and it would have been awkward for EVERYONE on the bus.. not just you and her. Plus you would have gotten the whole bus watching your every move during and after. This was not the best time to open. Too much pressure. I was riding on a plane once and this woman had the seat next to me. I was reading her IOI's the whole 4 hour leg of the trip. Once the captain said "we are beginning out decent.." she opened me with "going home or are you visiting?". Don't worry about it. The situation was in favor for her just being a passing ship in the night with verbal communication. But hey.. let this instance go into your ego boosting routine. I have one.. it is something I just run though and get all these memories of approval I get. Then I anchor the feeling with making a ring with my thumb and index finger.

Yea, it happens. Sometimes the situation is not conducive for approaching whatsoever, and/or you are unprepared for a hottie to come along and sit right in front of you. You could've tried going up and sitting next to her and quietly tell her you are bored and need someone to talk to. Don't be loud about it and just be smooth and subtle. You're both traveling, so right there is your topic of conversation. Bingo bango, now you are just two people chatting on a bus. You don't have to open her by telling her how pretty her hair is so that everyone hears you and she gets embarassed by a pickup line. Just play it cool and smooth and be a friendly guy, not a guy trying to pick her up.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn