Tragic



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 Post subject: Tragic
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 8:11 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2012 11:03 pm
Posts: 119
I need to make new friends - I don't have any but I don't know how.

All my life making friends is something I have struggled with.

I finished my last exam today, my last exam of my final year of University, degree now finished. Everyone is getting smashed partying and celebrating.

I want to do the same only I don't have a single friend, so here I am on my own - not celebrating.

just had to vent.


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 Post subject: Re: Tragic
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 8:43 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 6:58 pm
Posts: 5702
Location: Nashville
Quote:
I need to make new friends - I don't have any but I don't know how.

All my life making friends is something I have struggled with.

I finished my last exam today, my last exam of my final year of University, degree now finished. Everyone is getting smashed partying and celebrating.

I want to do the same only I don't have a single friend, so here I am on my own - not celebrating.

just had to vent.
Congrats on your degree. Read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. One of the best put together books about making friends and leading people. The time it was written in is a bit older like early 1900s but the principals still apply today cause people really don't change that much.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 2:36 am 
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Website: http://www.communicationskillsactivities.net
A lot of times if you don't fit into the typical things most people do you don't make friends. But this is a big world and there are thousands of people into almost any interest you have. So figure out what you really are interested in, even if it isn't typical, and get involved in social things that revolve around that. That's the best way to get around people who have a higher chance of becoming friends to start with.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 5:41 am 
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First off, you can not tell me you have no friends. I refuse to believe it. You have got to have at least one if not many. You've just got it in your head that a friend does certain actions.

Anyway, it's kind of in your head. ANYONE can make friends. It is largely behavior that gets friends but more so beliefs. EVERYTHING can be accomplished through beliefs. If you really think that you are some social outcast that can't relate to people it will show in your behavior. You need the unshakable belief that you have friends, that people already like you. From there, then you take action.

Say hello to every one you see. Remember faces and acknowledge people. Assume that people will like you.

The best advice I can give you is that the average person feels the same way. They expect others to initiate the friendship. Most friendships evolve from commonalities. Working together, hobbies together. Similar interests. They almost evolve naturally from circumstance.

Don't "pay" for friends either. That won't work. Borrowing and lending can lead to friendships only because there is a build up of trust. Helping each other overcome common necessities, think addicts helping each other score or students working on a school project. What ever motivates a person isn't usually making friends. Making friends is a by product of sharing experiences with people.

Ever seen two people fist fight then become friends? Because now they share a commonality. They share an experience.

It's the chicken before the egg? You are expecting to make friends and get the experiences but the experiences are what create the friendships.

You could have went and celebrated. Hell you could have stood up on the table and announced a toast of celebration. But why didn't you? Because you believe you have no friends? Who are the people celebrating? Not your peers? Did you even take the effort to try or are you waiting for some magical thing to happen?

if someone asks you what is up. Don't do the retarded. "Oh nothing much, how about you." --- "oh that's good" -- "how's {blah blah} doing"

person: "hey man what's up?"
Me: "Thinking of going to celebrate tonight, wanna come?"

or

person: "Hey, how are you"
Me: "Great, I am doing fucking awesome.."

person: "Oh really, why?"
Me: "I just graduated"

person: "Right on man"
Me: "waaahhhhooooo Celebration time! You wanna come?"

--

It's your choice what you want to do. But people will generally treat you how you believe you should be treated.


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