Anybody have things they remember happening as kids to them that have never left them and still seem to be really important in how you view yourself? Do you think to move past them you have to kind of relive them and face them? Or can you just try to forget them and move on without dealing with it anymore?

Im glad you bought this up, this is an area I am currently working on. Accept it and stop making identity meanings.

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I have a list, feel free to comment.

Was always quiet and afraid of women from day one
Got called ugly by random girl in street when I was in my teens
had a girl go ew!!! when we used to play this game at this disco where guys would walk through between girls and music would stop for a kiss and vide versa
Got told I was anorexic in school and made fun of for being skinny
Was skinny and ugly in school
Called out by teacher in middle of assembly in front of whole school for talking but I
wasn't it was my friends either side of me
Was treated like crap by my so called friends at end of primary school
Was treated like crap once by friends in secondary school
Told off and also sent to headmasters office for nothing
Now I work where I have an insecure boss who belittles me puts me down and makes me feel like crap

So f... the above post and no wonder I have no confidence and have social anxiety and cr.p with women.

People still try to put me down now I'm older, not so much these days though, I also get guys staring whenever I chat to women or a woman is talking to me

I wouldn't say event but I used to consider myself/dress/be all "emo" and whatnot back in high-school. I developed certain habits and 'shields' which I still find backfiring on me a lot of the time now that i'm over that phase and trying to build confidence rather than just hiding behind things.

I think its important to accept and try to move on. You may never forget it, but you can overcome the feelings associated with past events and learn to cope with situations which those feelings may affect

This is a list of you complaining

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Three Types of Players:
1) Those who doesn't know whats happening
2) Those who watch what happens
3) Those who make it happen

Thanks for sharing guys. It's great that this is a place people can talk about these things. I think a lot of us are still working on healing some of those past things and building up our confidence. Seeing where the wounds came from can help us get clear on how we got where we are and how to resolve them to get stronger.

Finding a porn XXX magazine with Jenna Jameson in it at age 15 or so and never being the same since...

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If sex was a food, Porn would be horse shit.

Few times in school I was told I looked ugly. Even a teacher said it. He was saying how everybody in class was good looking, then he looked at me, smiled, and said, "except for Horseman" and laughed, LOL. Another time me and my friend were walking to class and a coach said " ya'll ugly." Those weren't the only times. I can write a lot more but ya get the point. Since then my confidence is shit .even when I dress up and feel confident I think of those days. It is what it is. Funny now that I look at my classmates after a few years of graduating high school. LOL in yo face bitches. Yall look like fat shits.

That's amazing and terrible SPAM for teachers and coaches to use with kids. Nowadays, if caught doing that, I think they'd be in serious trouble.

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I remember in primary school (aged 7) being asked by a girl whether I was a girl or boy.

It went downhill from there.

Bullied all through primary and secondary school ( to aged 16 ), no social interaction with girls and didn't have friends in college ( to age 18 ). I was depressive and suicidal for a time. For a long time, I didn't give shit about anything including taking care of myself.

About ten years ago, I had the possibility of being in a relationship but I won't bore you with the details. I ended up comfort eating (which I stopped in 2007 and trying to lose the weight ever since). I was also angry and resentful, which has slowly simmered away since then.

Scuba, sorry to hear that. Namecalling and bullying earlier in life can be very tough. I hope you're working on building up your confidence to overcome those experiences. A lot of very worthwhile people were bullied and picked on at some point in life.

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My big brother mocking me plenty of times.
Lots of fights with him and being a rebel and right about everything I debated with my family and others.

I belong to a working class family and I was treated poorly growing up. My parents believed if I had friends growing up, I would end up misbehaving/getting into a life of crime, so they deliberately did things to make me unpopular. They did not let me wear stylish clothes and they did not let me take part in extra-curricular activities. Even when I got my licence, I could not drive my parent's car (of course, I was paying for all of this myself). This continued until 19 years of age, when I studied my ass off to win a scholarship that would give me the opportunity to study abroad, hence leaving the situation entirely.

I realise the importance of a proper upbringing with respect to one's self-esteem. My question is, as a person who has obviously missed out on this, how can I get past and build my self-esteem. I currently have 0 status and very little money, but I am working for the holidays and I'm moving to England in a few months.

I have tried 'fake it till you make it' but I'm always so weird, I find it very hard to relate to others.

Yes, completely. My lady and I met each other in child hood and we had our first kiss in elementary school before she moved away. I knew right then and there I wanted a family.

We reconnected as adults and we have been with each other ever since then.

She was always funny; after we kissed she said, "You need to brush your teeth, if you want to kiss again you have to brush your teeth." I laughed, I was embarrassed and I was in love.

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