Hey guys,

so basically I went through a rough patch these past couple months.. i could say, iv just got out of a big depression (i was thinking of the worse).. so to explain myself a bit. I used to be a confident guy, im a model, never had a problem talkin to girls or even being social in general..

basically this job drove me nuts. I guess the fact of being constantly away from family and not being surrounded by good friends anymore slowly got to me. I was partying all the time but with people i didnt really like, getting drunk, screwing girls but i would hardly even remember..

anyways now im back home, iv stopped travelling n modelling.. but i feel like iv lost it all, zero confidence with girls, I feel like im boring to my friends, to my family, got that overall feeling of feeling meaningless. I hardly go out anymore, i can't even find the motivation of playing football (one thing i loved).. I really want to swtich things around but sometimes the motivation just goes away and i start worrying for nothing and decide rather to sit at home doing nothing...


any advice, i ll appreciate it, really. I hate the way im living right now and all i want is to things to improve.. but dont know how or where to start..

You have lost sight of who you are and why you do things. This is of course not something that any one of us will be able to tell you. You'll have to figure it out and discover it for yourself. For me, my purpose is simple, it is helping others. I get joy and fullfillment in life through helping others with virtually anything I can. For you it may be different.

What is it you have done that use to really put you at your happiest to the core? Start there and the answers will start to follow.

Best of luck, and my prayers are with you, this is a tough place to be in your life.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

I think everything will be okay!

A few quick tips that always help when you're feeling down:

- Laugh. A lot. Everyday. Its good for your brain chemistry. Try going to see a funny movie (by yourself, with family, or with friends... whatever you want to do), look up stupid things on youtube, whatever it takes. Force yourself to laugh it if you need to. "Prescribe" yourself about 20 minutes of something funny a day... it will get your mind off things, at the very least.
- Exercise. Sunlight too, if you can get it. Even just a 15 minute walk every day is enough to make you feel better
- Think positive. This, i know, can be extremely tough, especially when you're feeling low. So, how do you get yourself to think positive? Affirmations work great. Another trick is to put a few sticky notes around the house, and whenever you pass by one, say something positive to yourself. Good ones to start with are "things will get better" (believe me, they will) "I am confident" "I am fun to be around" "Women can't get enough of me" "I project confidence and strength wherever I go." Feel free to get creative and have fun with the affirmations, and word them in a way that works best for you. It may take a little while for this to start working, but believe me, its worth it.

I hope these help. These may not necessarily make you feel 100% better by themselves, but i know from experience that these will give you that little boost. And that little boost is enough to start making the changes that you want (and need) in your life.

I wish you the best

I've dealt with a lot of depression and anxiety my whole life - and a lot was due to getting displaced from a previous environment.

I've found that even though it sucks, getting out is a MUST if you want to be happy. Start meeting people and hanging out with people even if you aren't totally similar - the important thing is being social.

Whenever I go out, I pretend like I'm acting. I'm a super fun, happy, spontaneous guy! Keep that frame, and soon it becomes reality - and all the charm and humor comes out naturally.

But that's the thing, when you go out, you ''pretend''. Doesnt that mean, ur being someone you're not?

I mean, i feel like thats what got me to where I'm today, i was trying to be liked by everyone so I would always try to be that person people like.. and then now by having done that for so long, i feel like iv lost myself, not really sure who i am really.. if that makes sense..


$$by the way thanks to the others who replied.. im following ur advice and I am getting slightly better

Not at all. You make a mold for your ideal self and you try to fit into that mold - acting at first. I want to smile a lot. I don't smile a lot. I'm going to "act" and smile more. From repetition, it becomes more of your daily routine.

I think the modern day brain-washes us into thinking there is some core or soul at the center of all our behavior. It's just biology and conditioning - be who you choose to be.

There is a classic psychology experiement where 2 groups of people seperately watched a funny video. One group was required to have a pen clenched in their teeth the entire time. The other group did not. When each group at the end of the video was asked how funny they thought the video was and how much they enjoyed it, the group with the pen clenched between their teeth during the video significantly enjoyed the video more.

Social psychology tells us that when we force ourselves to feel an emotion such as happieness or we force ourselves to behave in a specific way, our brains will create congruencies in our mood with this behavior. Thus those who held the pen in their mouths and mimiced a smile actually became happier than those that did not.

If you force yourself to do things congruent with happinessm your brain and moods will catch on.

Good luck and cheers.
-BRAD

so its been a few weeks since i posted that paragraph of how bad i was doing..


just to say everything has become so much better thanks to David DeAngelo's audio program ''On being a man'' and ''Deep Inner Game'' Honestly two great programs that help you become a man and help you grow. I would definitely recommend these.

anyways now I'm thinking of going back-packing all over South America (as im currently in brazil) as everyone says it's an experiment that helps you grow. Now i want to be realistic and even tho i think i'm on the right track to recovery and finding my better-self, I understand this may be too soon so I Wanna know what U GUYS THINK, honestly if u think its a good idea or something i shouldn't do when im in this phase of rebuilding myself..

I recommend reading some good books. I think this is the best way to give you a different perspective on life...

back packing just seems like spending too much money on something you could do in a library for free...

here's some ideas:

portrait of dorian gray (this one seems especially relevant)
Tale of Two Cities
Great Gatsby

I want Easylovelife, youre a retard. Backpacking is one of the best experiences anyone can do. You for FIRST HAND experience a whole new life and see it with your own eyes. Reading a book just gives you an idea of an amazing experience through someone else, why wouldnt you experience that first hand if you could......

go out, speak to girls

great advice.. thanks

That's why it saves money and time....try reading next time. Now go eat a porkchop.