Hey all,

I know I can bring this stuff to you guys without too much ridicule. I've had kind of a dry spell for the last year or so (more like a drought), and got back on the horse last night. With so much tension built up, you'd think I would have no problem keeping a raging boner, but as soon as the condom went on, the little guy wasn't having it. It's like it just up and decided not to work as soon as I was ready to get it on. Is it possible that my anxiety about my performance after so long is getting to me?

It's strange and hasn't ever happened to me before, but I'm sure someone out there can offer some kind of explanation/advice. Thanks!

Just stage fright, no big deal! it happens. Just put it out of your mind.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Thanks for the reassurance, man!

Same thing happened to me last night.

[I only got into the 'game' last week hence the following sentence!]
I haven't had sex since being with my ex almost two years ago; the first few times with her I'd be hard until i put the condom on then a few minutes later (even whilst having sex sometimes) i'd just lose it as i'd be thinking about it too much. Then for the next year and a half we'd have mad sex and it was epic.

Last night though was on a Day 2 and back at my place did everything else, then put the condom on then started to and I just lost it. I think personally I maybe have sort of a mental block with condoms but also just not having had done it for so long.
I wasn't feeling nervous but I had been thinking that if anything went wrong it'd be that, so that constantly being at the back of my mind didn't help...

Everyone says just be in the moment but i find it very hard to, I overthink everything.

Overthinking is really easy to do with stuff like this. If youve had sex with a condom on before with success then you can do it again, fact.

What you're suffering from is a lack of immersion. The solution is definitely just to be in the moment and to let go, but it can be hard because of a combination of things ranging from performance anxiety to a dry spell. Try this two step solution:

First you'll want to fix this from a long-term point of view and holistically. That means adopting a testosterone diet, working out regularly, playing a competitive sport, minimize fapping to once or twice a week, working hard on your career, talking to girls regularly, etc. I promise you, you'll be surprised how many things seem to magically fix themselves if you physically live your life the right way. Be healthy and you'll be brimming with testosterone - the organic life blood of game.

Second, establish a routine that lessens performance anxiety. This might sound kind of unusual, but literally tell a girl "I don't have secks with a girl unless I'm in love with her" THEN start escalating. This functions to:

(a) Give you a default excuse. You can say "I can't do this it feels wrong" at any time. What this does is it gives your subconscious mind a type of mental cushion. The performance anxiety and the embarrassment of "not getting it up" is stripped away allowing you to immerse yourself more within the moment. The issue of not being able to get it up doesn't ache you because you have an "excuse."

To give you a relatable example, while having secks with a girl recently, she said "that was amazing, I'm donee," after orgasming on top of me. Right after, my IMMERSION went up like crazy because there was nothing to be "anxious" of. I felt way more in the moment because I had a mental cushion, she had already came and I no longer had any EXPECTATIONS for myself.

(b) It makes her crazy for you. I'm pretty sure I've gotten more girls to have secks with me by saying I don't want to have secks with them. It's just basic instinct, people want what they can't have. When you flip the script on a girl, her vagina begins to flood.

All this being said, this would only be a temporary fix. Work on your inner game and learn to control your insecurities, else they'll tend to manifest themselves during secks.

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My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com