Hey just looking for a bit of advice. I had one-itis for a few years, then I came to uni and somehow managed to get a girlfriend, which unfortunately didn't last long because I was way too beta (realise all my mistakes now!). Although to be fair I just went out with her because she showed interest in me which hadn't happened to me for a long time, I also lost my virginity so not all bad! Anyway, after we broke up I was highly motivated to have success with women, I read the Game and discovered the pickup community. After a small image change up I managed to kiss-close one girl and f-close another on nights out, this was almost all done through kino because the clubs/bars I go to play stupidly loud music. However I feel all the success I have had has been down to alcohol because when I'm not drunk I get so nervous and self-conscious just being out in the public.

I want more than just a bit of throwaway fun on a night out but I don't think the girls I meet will be interested in the sober version of me. This has resulted in a lot of drinking on my own just to go out during the day because I feel much more confident, which I know is a bad idea. Would you guys suggest just meeting up with the girls I meet on the nights out during the day when sober, or do I need some serious work on my inner game and anxieties?

I feel you man. You need to just dedicated a few days and nights to going out, staying sober and approaching everyone you see, over and over again. This is not to pick them up, but to learn bringing out your social side when sober. They do not have to be hot or even women, talk to any and everyone.

Looks like your already head of the game. Closing girls.

If alcohol is helping out, that is fine. Now, just gotta set up dates and do them sober until you get comfy talking to women sober.

Alcohol is used by pretty much everyone at the bar to reduce anxiety, including girls. What's wrong with you drinking? Just don't get to a point where you look fucked up. This is a huge DLV

try drinking slightly less and less every time you go out... even if u dontfinish a drink, take incraments to lowering you intake levels.... eventually it wont even matter... this is not proven by the way, but if i were to take my own advice, this would be it

If you find you can't control your drinking, you may be an alcoholic. I highly recommend checking out an AA meeting. I used to use alcohol because I didn't think anyone would find me interesting sober.


If you can easily control your intake, quit being a pussy. Go out sober some time and learn to socialize. I guarantee drunk you is not as interesting as you think he is.

By UNI do you mean northern Iowa?

its true, i know this from experience, AA doesnt get better with alcohol, i find appraoching is more confident sober

Thanks for the replies, will take it all on board. Uni is short for university, sorry should of made that clear.
Yeah I wasn't drinking at all during our time together, but she was the one that went for me and started the relationship (admittedly something I have never experienced before). A couple weeks after we broke up I started going out and getting wasted, because I wanted to prove her wrong when she said I wasn't outgoing enough during the breakup period (She knew this when she chose to date me!)

I like to think I can handle alcohol well and can even appear sober when I'm heavily drunk, but I know this probably isn't true haha.

So basically, drink in moderation on nights out and try to follow up on number closes. Guess I already knew this but has been good to hear your opinions on it. Thanks.

Listen, the best advice I can give you is simply to stack material and once she is hooked then use natural game or inner game by expressing yourself. You don't have to be the worlds greatest pick up artist and not every girl wants a one night stand.

What you should not do is drink alcohol and do day game. That is a 100% sure way of never getting away from approach anxiety but rather getting closer to becoming an alcoholic. You will use alcoholic as a way out of your social life to a new one.

Think about things you enjoy women love to talk about that. I am a finance student and I was talking to a lady about it and she asked me what I do and i told her i deal with forex trading. At this point we began talking and I told her i hope I wasn't boring her but she laughed and said I love talking about stuff i dont know. So basically find certain things in common interest, movies, books, tv shows, course related almost anything.

Use the canned stuff and as you gain rapport then use natural game by identifying yourself. Not everyone has to live a perfect life with 24/7 parties and fun. Just enjoy the ride and don't put yourself down over the smallest things. I hate how people say I can't talk to women there is some sort of secret, because there isn't one way of doing it. Caliberate her mood and feeling such that your conversation suites her ideal conversation. If she hates rap music don't always bring it up, but if you love it and she hates it neg her and disagree say its an artistic form of the old brooklyn times or whatever. Yet if she says rap is just another form of blues and jazz mixed with a beat I dont know anything that makes sense then compliment and agree then continue conversation to what she likes and find a common ground.

Read newspapers, magazines, sports, books and keep up to date with events this is not just about sitting down and expecting things to come to you right away you have build up a conversation and ideas by knowing your surrounding. If you dont even know the top sushi restaurant and you like sushi when she asks to go for sushi you will be fumbling around. Know your environment be up to date with current events and be educated those are the key things to know and the conversation will lead itself.

Don't plan the unexpected just be ready. Its like a test you dont know the questions but you know the topics and maybe 10% will show up but you still have to read the whole book. There is my 2 cents!

Cheers,

Joel

I used to be an alcoholic (drink 26 a day/night) cause I was going through what I thought was depression, turned out I was just hung up on my ex. But now when I go to Clubs/bars/parties I usually just have soda water with lime so I look like I'm drinking and not look like the awkward guy that doesn't drink. But I went to AA a few times didn't really work for me just had to keep telling myself I don't need the alcohol to talk to women.

To reduce the the anxiety I went to a local mall and just walked around anytime I saw a woman I was attracted to I would just walk by smiling and just say hi and keep walking.