| What up guys,
The last year or so, my anxiety has been rising again. But it hasn't always been like this. What I'd really like to do is to get back on one old level that I had when I was on university exchange.
It most probably started in high school. First two classes were brilliant, we were a close group, and in presentations, my enthusiasm and good appearance took over my nervousness. But last four classes were just shit. I had to go to another school, couldn't associate myself with anyone, even two guys who were actually despised by the rest of the class. In short: I didn't fit in, and the last thing I thought about were girls.
In college, things took (some) turn. There was a pressure from the community to socialize, I got friends, really good friends, and my housemates encouraged me to get the girl I fancied. We got into a relationship, which ended after three months, just before I went on exchange. At that time, I was 19 and I actually did not have any clue how to approach a girl, trigger her emotions, neg, joke, let alone maintain a relationship.
On one of the first days while I was on exchange, I befriended a guy who was either a pure natural or an advanced pick-up-artist. Apart from telling me things along the lines of “there are millions of girls around the world” and other moral boosters, he also explained me things about non-verbal communication, taking the lead conversations with girls and moving on. While I was pretty sure that on the non-verbal part, I still did a lot of things wrong, I began having success in talking to women. I would talk to a random girl in the library and get her number afterwards, offered a girl fries in McDonalds (!) and be presented with her number afterwards and start a sudden conversation with a girl during dinner in the restaurant. While going out with a bunch of dudes, I would flirt with two girls for five minutes and then start conversations with them. I was the “leader” and the other friend who came up, just a bystander. For the first time in my life, I felt that I was really attracting women.
There was also a mistake I made while I was on exchange. I befriended a girl in one of the student associations in the first week. When I met her again in the association building, she was making homework, but I managed to start a conversation with her which lasted for more than one hour. Then, just everything felt so natural, what I had to say, what my non-verbal communication had to be like. I practically didn’t think about “getting” this girl. She invited me over to watch a movie, we would walk along the sea having endless conversations and finally, we also got into a relationship. But then, I was pressured by time (I had to go back to my old uni) and put myself as a person (what I had to offer) on the table. In the end, we broke up and I am sure I was left with some oneitis back then
While I don’t think about this mistake before and only try to remember the successes and built forth upon them, I cannot seem to get any improved success with women. I am trying to approach women more often, go to parties more frequently and visit friends from my old university. From my elementary school time, I remember one thing really clearly. My teacher said that I should never be afraid about mistakes and always be myself. Nowadays, I am always eager to improve myself in order to find my true values and opinions about things, something my friends absolutely approve. They even see it as a major feature of me that should attract women.
My question is: Am I taking things too serious here?
Yeah, I know it's a long intro, but I felt I had to put this in here.
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look up tryphophobia on images.google.nl
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CHAT