I’m not asking about game , I’m asking your advice on basic social skills and jumping into a college social scene in the middle of the year with no real friends SPAM.

My counselor and parentsa rej ust like ... ummm... this will all come in time.

1. I’m talking to someone and she’s like “hey ya, we should hang out” and then I’m like fuck I have nothing to do in my life. What does a normal person without friends or activities of his own do to see someone else again in college? How do you start from ground zero?

2. I get on friendly terms with a classmate. It feels like I need to probe them for what they do in their social life to gain access but I don’t wanna as a fucking weird question like “what do you do in your social life”- what do normal people say to probe?

3. Say we’re talking about a course, the weather, where she’s from and now I want to turn it social. How do I bring up parties and social events in conversation? What are social events I should be looking for to ask about other than house parties and events for students our year?

For people in my classes do I just keep asking them what they are doing this week/weekend/what they did last weekend and later in the conversation suggest they invite me?

I have a feeling alot my problems will disappear in the summer/ next school year because I'll just introduce myself to everyone in the dorm and start shooting the shit with everyone like I should have done this year.

read "how to win friends and influence people" by dale Carnegie. No one wants to make friends with someone with nothing to offer.

Having something to offer helps a lot. Especially in college where people don't have much. Do you have a car so you can give people rides? Know any good places to go, or some party games?

I knew a guy who was invited everywhere and got tons of tail because he had great drug connections. Major asshole, but people wanted him around.

I learned how to mix drinks and brought a new concoction to parties I went to. It went over great.

People are pretty simple and like to get thier needs met. Your meet thiers, and they'll help you meet yours.

Not everyone can be Van Wilder and win everyone over with thier personality. You need to find your gimmick.

This is good advice.

I would also add under the rubric of something to offer as the simple ability to listen to someone tell you something and react in an encouraging and positive manner without trying to insert your own spiel. People like and active and interested listener.

This is good advice.

I would also add under the rubric of something to offer as the simple ability to listen to someone tell you something and react in an encouraging and positive manner without trying to insert your own spiel. People like and active and interested listener, and it tends to make you a lot of friends as most people cant do this.

Just came across you post and would like to suggest the following:

Neil Strauss: Rules of the Game

This book if not read already is like a diary instruction manual for picking up women but the whole book is a step by step on how to meet and interact with people

You have conversation topics, tips, spaces to write down your thoughts and feelings.

secondly: try to make your life more interesting, have something your passionate bout such as hobbies, interests, life experiences maybe take a train to somewhere you've been before,,,

Meet like minded people

Hope this all helps

Dranzer

_________________
Dranzer

Watch out, though, with the "having something to offer" part. In other words, dont lean too heavily on what you have to offer someone after the first few interactions. Use it in the beginning to establish a friendship with someone, and after the first few interactions you should let your natural personality shine and start hanging out with someone on the basis of mutual friendship. You dont wanna be that guy that people just use for something. Its definitely a good way of starting up an initial friendship, especially in a situation like yours. But just dont overdo it, because if you do then people will only start to talk to you/befriend you in order to get that which you offer.

It's nice to read books and it's nice to have something to offer but in truth, the only thing you need to do is go out a lot and be friendly. That is all.

In college, everyone goes to parties and clubs. When you're talking to a new friend or classmate ask if they're going out and where they're going. Say something like, "yea that sounds good, i might come to that and bring some friends." you don't need invitation to hang out with them you just do. Then talk to other people and tell them that you're going out with some friends (the first person you talked to) and see if they can come. That's how you grow a social circle.

Go out a lot and be friendly.

Also your college should have co-ed and intramural sports and clubs that you should start attending.

With friends, you need to think slow and steady so what you need to do is start going out even if it is with fat ugly girls then slowly work your way up.

When in doubt, just go out a lot. The first time I went to a club was by myself. Yea, it sucked but now I go with friends. The first time I went to a party I ended up at the wrong party and I felt stupid. But hey, no big deal I just kept going out and now I have a more fulfilling social life but I'm not going to lie I still work on it every chance that I get b/c honestly sex is the most important thing in the world.