Each day when i go to school i take the bus. I know many people that take the same bus at the same time, they might go to different schools but everyone in the city starts 08.15 and those i know all came from the same highschool as i did. The thing that's bothering the heck out of me is that i hate sitting there with nothing to talk about, and the inner pressure to talk to people you know, instead of ignoring them.

I also have to mention that 08.15 is a time of day i hate. I am mr.down at that time and talking to people is the last thing on my mind. If you consider that the daylight at this time of year is three hours and the avg temp is about -3c it doesn't help.

now i turn to the forum, i need to get good at talking and having interessting topics without having them seem prescripted(i have very bad timing when it comes to "can you belive xcelebrity did x") And maybe some tips on how to get talkative in the early hours.

How does one get in a good mood before leaving the house?
and important
How can you keep a conversation with someone you might barelly know, without embarassing silence?
all suggestions are welcome.

Man I'm glad I read this post. I might be able to help out. I use to do car sales, and say what you want about sales man but it's hard to get up in the morning be positive before 8am and talk to perfect strangers then sell them a $40,000 or $80,000 vehicle. So I know where you are coming from. I'll warn you this post could be long but worth it.

Okay so here's the thing. It's all about your Positive Mental Attitude (PMA). Here's an example of what not to do; "If you get up out of bed, and stump your toe, you think to yourself it's going to be one of those days. Then you go to the bathroom and cut yourself shaving, man it's going to be one of those days. Then you head outside and it's cold, man it's going to be one of those days. I've been there, hell we all have, but what seperates us from successful people is a positive attitude. It's something learned as a habit for the most part.

Here is what to do. You wake up, first thing after hitting the alarm clock, jump out of bed and smile. It's contagious habit to get in smiling. Then you get out of bed and stump your toe. It doesn't matter I'm going to have a great day...You cut yourself shaving, ha ha little devil razor, you can bring me down. You look at yourself in the morning in the mirror, and say, "Damn you're one good looking SOB you know that!" Yes, I do this! LOL. Anyways, you need the positive attitude and you have to work at it, that its going to be a great day, good things are going to happen, and you're going to make them happen. It's tough but its the mindset that differs us and successful people.

*Try to eat a good breakfast, not just a poptart, and do a light workout in the morning or stretch. When you eat good and do something physical like that your body gets more endorphins. May even have to getup a little earlier to fit all this in. Make sure to get atleast 8 hrs of sleep. Again, this takes work.

Regardless of what happens keep smiling. It's hard to feel bad when you are smiling all the time. You'll notice others around you will be smiling more also. It's a great disease called happiness!

Talk to your friends at the bus stop about whatever you want to, you're the fun positive guy. Talk about sports, weather, celebrities on the fritz, computers, Internet, School Rumors, how the bus driver smells, whatever, just get use to talking.

Believe me when you are happy you want to talk to people and share the feeling. And also believe me when I tell your grumpy people hate this about us! You can do this, I know you can. I did it, and I'm the laziest person I know, I had an excuse for everything, but not giving myself the happy life I deserved!

GOOD LUCK, and let me know how you're doing!

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

I read some study (years ago) that people who practices smiling 10 minutes a day felt better (and had better blood pressure (or something)) than the control group.

If I'm in funky mood, I just start to trying to hold a smile for 10 minutes. I look like the fucking Joker from SPAM, and my kids are freaking out, but it works.

In the shower: *smile*
eating my wheaties: *SMILE*
Stuck in the car with traffic: *SMILE*

By the time I get to work, I'm in a better mood.

-Hyde

HAHAHAHAHAH

The whole "positive thinking" stuff has a scientific explanation (just do it and you'll notice it on the long term anyway^^).

You should watch: "What the bleep do we know". ALMOST EVERYTHING IS BULLSHIT, however some scientist have worked on the documentary and some of the stuff you have to filter out as "highly possible truth".

All those perpetual thoughts that you experience from the moment you wake up in the morning till the moment you fall asleep at night. It is not some ethereal mass in your head which some have called "a soul". It is a brain, an organism, a working clockmachine of electronic pulses. And every word you learned to use, is something your brain programmed to a certain feeling. Hence as you grow up your vocabulary becomes more abstract and complex. This might seem surreal, but there are ways for you to experience the effect negative thinking has on your immediate conscience: which is just how you feel.

When you constantly think: "I can't talk to these people. I'm so ugly. I can't do anything right." etc... These sentences are formed in/by your brain and are linked to a bad feeling. Thus, by constantly thinking that way, you will feel that way (it is often perceived the other way around). "Feeling" a certain way is nothing more than a hormone extraction in your brain. Mostly thoughts trigger these extractions... A shaolin master (for example) keeps his cool in a life threatening situation, while 'normal' people panic in fear, that fear is very tangible but nothing more than a self induced state of mind. Controlling your mind is the hardest thing a human can do.

A thought is nothing more than an electronic pulse travelling through a synapse in a particular region of the brain. The location depends on the thought and the feeling it gives you, because the feeling is a hormone produced by your brain (on a microscale: triggered by those pulses). The more you do a certain action, the more pulses that have to travel through particular synapses. The brain has to compensate for that by making the synapse thicker, thus you become better at this action because more pulses can travel through it, and more WILL travel through it (it's all complexer than that, but I'm trying to keep short here).

Therefore, if you think negative, your whole reality (the world that you perceive) will become horrible and negative. Because the synapses which are used to trigger those negative feelings (which are created by your thoughts) become thicker. These thoughts will then occur automatically, the paths of those pulses are set. This is how you LEARN a skill, it eventually becomes automatic.

SO:d, you have to stop doing that. The longer you think that way, the longer it will take to degenerate these opulent synapses. But the human brian is very adaptive, and you'll notice the effects quicker that you think;).

You have to think: "Hey, this is all just a ride and every one is in it, feeling just as insecure as the next guy. But not me, cause I know I can keep controll and it's all just a game that we call life. - That girl sits in my class, how's she doing?". Instead of: "Fuck, I'm the only loser on this bus stop" - "Fuck, there's a girl from my class, I CAN'T TALK TO HER." She's a warm blooded mammal just like you.

I started doing this about two years ago, thinking positive, and it's changed my life dramatically. Don't worry, be happy.

I think that's about all I wanted to say, and it's my first post btw^^

greets

WOW, i just got home from a skate jam and i feel better than ever, many of my best friends where there and the SPAM was great. I am now in a state of mind where i could talk to most people, but how i got there i don't know. I do belive it was a feeling of acceptance or something, but an issue for me is that that feeling is a leaking tank and i don't know how to fill it up without getting it from outside.
Btw. i LOVE the different perspectives on this, and it helps to hear that others have been in a frame of mind close to my own.
I'd love to get more views on this, so please post

I think the key to finding that talkative state is by just talking with girls running game. After you chat up a few people your warmed up, and then you typically turn your game up a notch.

_________________
http://www.realpuas.com

I can identify with Reno99--sometimes I just get into a frickin great mood, and I can talk to anyone. I think most people are this way, that is, sometimes (we usually don't control these times, they depend on our surroundings) we just are on the top of the world, and social feats that normally we would never attempt seem easy.

So what is there to do then?

#1 Try to put yourself in situations as much as possible that make you feel this way. Living with cool roommates, making friends at work/school.ect

#2 Constantly convincing yourself that you are in a great effing mood. I once dated a girl that would just convince herself she was happy all the time. When I broke up with her, she was like "Ok Sonja, just got to try to pretend i'm ok, and eventually I will be". --that was probably one of the wisest things i ever heard her say.

#1 and #2 are both difficult to do, depending on where you are in life, but hey, at least it's somewhere to start.