DISCLAIMER: First of all, I'm not making excuses. I know I have problems with AA, and the only way to get over them is to have some balls and put myself out there, this is just a small thought I had and I'm wondering if it might hold some merit....


I had a crazy moment on Friday night. I was sitting at the bar on Friday night with my buddy. It was still pretty early so there wasn't many people there yet. The bartender was kinda hot so I figured I'd try to strike up a conversation. (I'm still working my way into this PU thing due to being newly single after 4 years, and I have a lot of AA problems.)

Anyway, she's 25ish, and I'm 22. So right when I start talking, the most f*cked up thing happened. I imagine that my older sister was sitting right beside me, giving me shit. WTF?!??!?!? That DEFINATELY didnt give me any confidence. For a good part of that night, I didn't think of myself as being me, I was just the younger brother.

The next morning, while I was nursing my hangover, I sat back and thought about this. I am the youngest in the family. Not only that, but my two older siblings were older sisters who were constantly trying to take control of situations. They were just enough older than me to pull it off too.

Don't worry, I'm still just as determined to tackle my aproach anxiety as ever, but could my past with my sisters really have something to do with this? I mean, they weren't like abusive to me, but they are very strong willed girls who made themselves seem of higher value compared to me all of growing up.

i think there could be some truth in what you say, though don't hold me as any authority on the matter.

i too have an older sister who is very much like what you describe - strong willed, quite controlling, loud, often quite brash. (though i've never imagined her giving me shit)

i feel she may have inadvertantly had an influence on me being uncomfortable in social situations - a problem i am now over.

there may be some possible physcholigical implications of having an older/younger sister, older/younger brother, being the middle child etc.

you've just gotta focus on yourself and sorting your own problems out, don't blame anyone else.