Hey guys. I went out for my first solo sarge last night. Because it was the first time out alone and sober I had a huge amount of approach anixety. I was stressing over what opener to use, how to transition and all the while I was thinking, fuck, a few weeks ago I had unstobale confidence what is the difference tonight (I didnt get into anything very stimulating after my openers last night but I did accomplish my first solo sarge and analysed few things I did that I can fix up for to try tonight. So, I accomplish a small goal. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step!!)
Firstly, the reason I was going so well the other week was that I was viewing approaching with a I dont give a fuck attitude, I really did not care what the targets thought of my routines and, this was the key to getting this attitude, I used Tyler Durdens tactic of thinking of them as friends. All the girls I am freinds with I play with and tease all the time. I usually do pretty good a closing these friends but, when I went out last night for the solo sarge with randoms I was not viewing them as friends I was viewing them as a target that is analysing my game with sceptical devil eyes. Because of this I was nervous and not playful, I was constantly worried about them rejecting me. The way to overcome this is to take my approach from a few weeks ago and think of it as going up to one of your firends who is a girl and also pretending you already know them. If you think of it as if you are approaching a friend who may already be keen on you this will help your approach anixety.
The second thing I was not doing was being fun. I have noticed that when you smile at tragets in clubs with loud music you can get away with saying practically anything and getting a positive response but if you use the same lines, which may be really good, without this playful nature you usually crash and get burnt. Also, sometimes, usally in the later stages of the night I am really tired and cannot find this positive attitude to be 'fun'. But, remembering my days before I found this stuff (PUA) I remember the positive attitude philosophy books I have read. I re-read over a particular one (Jeffrey Gitomer's Little Golden Book of Yes Attitude, 2007) and found some key ideals to approaching a sarge with a positive and successful outcome attitude.

Here's my own summary from three books including the one above that have some implications for sarging. Its all about what you say.

Think of being approached by somebody at a club that continually talks in a negative tone, what do you think of them and how long do you want to hang around them?
Now, think of a person you talk to who is is talking about the good in everything, they trigger positive mental images in your mind and you enjoy their complany alot more then a negative person. You will talk with them longer.
When you are sarging which one of these two personalities do you think a target will be attracted to? The answer is obvious isnt it?

But, what happens if you are in a negative mood and you cant see the positive in anything? This is the cool part. You just talk about something and look for the good in it, and say the good about it. When you do this it triggers mental pictures in your head of positive things, and the more you talk positvly the more you start to think positively. It works, I have tried it. TRY IT YOURSELF, dont just take my word for it. Here's a few examples;

-I dont really like this place everyone is too agressive

OR

- I am enjoying the SPAM in this place. Its like being in a crazy western movie with all of these intriuguing characters. I sense a showdown coming on any minute.
(note the trigger of the word enjoyment, crazy wild wild west)




-I cant approach this group of HB's, they are going to see my lack of confidence and burn me

- I have succeded with sarging before. (Remember your best sarge). I have lots of qualities to offer these girls, (Think of all of your REAL qualities that fit the dhv descriptions AMOG, ambition, adventure, depth mystery, not horny but sexual, carer of loved ones. You all have them guys!! ) This set is lucky to be approached by me because I am have alot of qualities women are attracted to and I am different to every AFC in here tonight, who has no clue how to game a woman. I see the opportunity to not only expose these womon to my superior game but also to have fun.


So, see what emotions are triggered when you look at the positive approach. Now, I want you guys who are having trouble being fun, just before you go sarging, to write down a list of all your anxieties. Put them in one colum, then in another colum write down a positive SPAM that matches that thought. Like the examples above. Then when you are out listen to the words you are saying and look for the good in things when you are talking. Try it out guys.

nice post