Yeah, I know that problem. Before I decided to do a step back first, and try to eliminate first my AA, I stuck everytime in conversation on the same kind of things. I tried very hard to train me on making bridges in conversations, choosing a word in the sentence the girl made and making a question for example of it for reply.
I was always too late whereby I felt committed to shut down the conversation. (extra painfull when you see when walking away even a little astonishment and disappointment in her face)

First, the possibility to change the subject immediately was unthinkable to me because that would be very strange I thought, it would be as if doing a monologue.
Lateron I noticed that I did exactly the same to friends and asked myself why in that case it was no problem.

Now I think it is because you have the feeling that you are not doing real. Normally your first intention is to do such things out of fun, because you like to talk to your friends. Now you are not having fun because you are nervous or you have an agenda, or another purpose than just have fun.
So, for yourself the change of subject feels odd because of that missing fun part, so, automaticly (people like to project there feelings) you think the girl experiences the same too.
The only real point is that BECAUSE of missing the fun-element, you become a little rigid and you lose spontaneity in behavior. And you unconsciously know that too, so that makes your inhibition just bigger. And that is what the girl DO feel and makes her feel you 're acting, or just doing weird.

(Lol)Your 1st. approach went wrong 'cause you pushed it too much by looking for a hand shake with minimal attraction plus a(supposed) weak approach or weak meta-frame. I know the exercise to sought of like pump you up by saying HI to many people as possible(being social); I forgot the MPUA who teaches that or had a few posts on it. Anyway, you were just to say "Hi"(greet) and go without even waiting nor expecting a respond.

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Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
https://youtu.be/tj5rnL_qKfM

(Lol)Your 1st. approach went wrong 'cause you pushed it too much by looking for a hand shake with minimal attraction plus a(supposed) weak approach or weak meta-frame. I know the exercise to sought of like pump you up by saying HI to many people as possible(being social); I forgot the MPUA who teaches that or had a few posts on it. Anyway, you were just to say "Hi"(greet) and go without even waiting nor expecting a respond.

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
https://youtu.be/tj5rnL_qKfM

im from holland to .

if you approach a girl use a good opener,
never say something about their looks, you can make a comment on a dress but not on their looks.
here is one from me in a shop where to sell creams and parfums.

ME: hi can i ask you i question, i only got a minute
SHE: sure what do you need
NOTE : i said i only got a minute , i don't have much time and therefore im not needy - false time constraint. and while im talking i keep my distance and my body slightly turned as if i face from the side

ME: i need a gift for a friends but i don't know what to buy and it's a little bit retarded if i give a girl a mens parfume.
SHE : so you don't know what to get ?
NOTE : opinion asker - girls know alot about parfume creams and stuff they would be happy to show their expertise - opinion asker creates time for you to think of new material. a normal opener like what a nice dress doesn't lure the girl into talking she will probably say hi thanks and you still have to lead.

ME : yeah i bought already 3 colognes so its not original unless i make it original , i once gave my girlfriend facial cream but she replied '' am i looking that old? '' so that wasn't any good .
SHE: small laugh : hey Maybe my friend has a good idea . :: she calling her friend::
NOTE : i made the subject difficult because i already i bought 3 times the same gift for my (GF)friend - i should have a good reason why i need some help. AKA coverup. i also made a small joke to take away some tension.

SHE : explaining to her friend
her friend : ok how about this and this blablabla
ME : mm i need a good gift this person is very special
SHE friend : is she your girlfriend ?
ME : yes
SHE friend: then don't buy jewelry
ME : too late (laughing ) - showing my ring ( good prop, ) it's cool heh - here take a look ( lock in prop).
NOTE : i let her explain to her friend , if i would explain then she would be bored because i would start al over, also it gives me time to think new material and aquire some info about their IOI body posture etc.
she explaining to her friend is a IOI, when she called her friend she said'' this mister has a question '' mister IOI im called with respect.
at this point im not sure if she has a Boyfriend bcz she gave quitte alot IOI in talk and in body posture.

I said this person is special and i give only good gifts - meaning i care about my friends and Girlfriend - these are DHV spikes.
then her friend asks if the person im buying a gift is my girlfriend - now note if someone asks that then she has a boyfriend because asking if you have a BOyfriend is DLV, the other girl ( SHE ) didnt ask so she probably doesn't have a boyfriend because she is giving IOI's by the 7.
now i told her i have a girlfriend - now im not needy they never will think im after them, now i give the ring to the girl ( SHE) because shes giving me IOI's by the 7 and she is a good pick.

And what i do now is talk to the friend , she has a boyfriend and she thinks i got a grilfriend - now i can get away with alot of stuff. by only talking to her friend causes her other ( SHE) to seek my attention because im negging and DLV ing her by not talking to her. however i gave her my ring so that she won't walk away if she gets bored, walking away would be stealing my ring.
BTW saying i got a girlfriend is a double edged blade, i can say alot of stuff without showing im needy + i got a girlfriend so thats a DHV '' oh he gots a girlfriend there must be somthing special about this guy '' but also note they can perceive it as if im taken and get dissapointed. it can work 2 ways.

i now completely ignore the first girl and keep contacting her friend.

SHE friend : so shes very special to you
ME : yeah she says im more special, well .. ( DHV myself)
SHE friend : you have to give something really special then.
ME to she 1 : you can also give your opinion if you like ( tease neg )
SHE friend to SHE : you have any ideas ?

What happens now is that i negged ''SHE'' in a frame, i actaully said '' you dont say much don't you, don't you go out alot '' i only covered it up by framing it in a tease neg.
i also said that my girflriend finds me very special (DHV to me ) i instantly negged the other girl ( SHE ) i got DHV and at the same time she got DLV'ed
now she perceives me as high value at least i hope so, now i need to find some IOI that shows this.

SHE to she friend : i don't know -- > adopting the same body posture as me , giving constant eye contact, doesn't tribute to conversation
AKA -- > good material she sees me as DHV

some talking...

now the original girl seeks my attention , i noted she adopted the same body posture as me and is also leaning at the table. now i turn my body back to her and give her an IOI or compliment without admiring her beauty.
it can be about anything but what i did is this :

ME : hey i didn't even introduced myself hi im lodewijk ( i look and turn to the original girl)
she will be giving her hand and she will be tell her name, targets who are DLV'ed will almost always give their name and jump your hoops.
now i asked where to know eachother from etc, i just keep interaction alive.

after a while il just start like : hey im gonna have a party soon you can come if ''you behave ''(important to say - non needy remember) giving your number can be DLV so ask them - you can give yours if you worked them enough just say the number your giving is a business number of your business phone that makes it less personal.

you can also say -- > normally i don't give my number(or talk ) to strangers but you don't look like strangers.

OPEN

1. run an opener ---> appear non needy , its better to say some bullshit instead of appearing needy, face her with your side don't turn your body towards her

2. false time constrain along with opener - i don't have much time / im seeing a friend in a minute / do you got 3 seconds i got a question. appear non needy and it shows you aren't staying long otherwise they will think: ''what is this guy doing here- is he going to stay here for long?'' '

3 . LEAN BACK but don't overdo it , NEVER LEAN IN AND INTRUDE PERSONAL SPACE , remember your a stranger and shes a girl - there are boundaries just dont step over them. leaning back is DHV, leaning in is DLV. Leaning back is like you have to go --> non needy, don't overdo it .

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OPEN TO COMFORT

4.throw in one routine or story or whatever you like, and when she replies turn your body towards her.

5. DHV yourself and DLV the target by negging her or shift your attention to her friend. in solo situations you can neg by saying ''you have something weird at your eye (or nose)'' you don't insult her but let her feel DLV.

6. completely ignore the target even after she draws attention, when she does neg her. keep befriending her friend

7. keep telling fun stories and when she gives you alot of IOI s shfit your balance from her friend to her, in other words she asks for attention an you give it.
by rewarding her with listening and paying attention she will even try to get more attention

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COMFORT ZONE


8. ask personal questions

because she is DLV'ed she will likely tell you more, ask her personal stuff try to know your target.
make funny comments and if shes ask what your doing or what you do for a living then make her guess first, telling a girl straight away your personal stuff is DLV . frame her conversation and use her question to set up hoops. AKA control the conversation no matter whos talking. if your dog asks a cookie you don't give em you let him perfom tasks first, only reward him for good behaviour.

example
SHE : how old are you ( question --- hoop
ME : guess . ( hard to get, i don't tell personal stuff that quick )
SHE : 20
ME : no close .. 21 (REWARD)
ME: how old are you ? ( putting up question --> hoop )
SHE : guess ( shes doing the same thing to me )
ME : guess low or high ( setting up new hoop to make it easier )
SHE : mm i wont tell. ( she isn't jumping trough my hoops )
ME : il start at 60 then. ( NEG, pretending shes old, you can also say 16 )

its more like i ask a girl to get a glass of water , if she gets one then she jumped trough my hoops. if i asked it for the fifth time and she still gets me a glass of water. if she doesnt get me a glass of water then i have no power over the other person.
BE HARD TO GET.

if i ask like : say 3 things that are on top of your mind that express who you are, if she says no i won't tell that - then NEG her and become non needy
just reply'' actually im not interested at all i was just being polite''.
Be the man on top.
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ASK OPINIONS -- > opinions will make other people talk, you have more conversation material, more time, and you can define who he or she is like based on opinions. you can neg opinions to or make fun of them in a good way.

MAKE PEOPLE GUESS -- > if they ask about age , then make someone guess - more conversation material..... you set up the hoops , noone else.

USE ITEMS OR ASK ABOUT PARTICULAR ITEMS--- > when telling a story you can interupt and ask whats the idea behind her dress, you like her dress ( or watch etc ) you can now tell a story about that particular item, now you have 2 subjects if one conversation about a subject goes sour you can quickly swap to the other one.
in other words HAVE MORE SUBJECT GOING AT THE SAME TIME, if you you don't start multiple subjects and one subject ( conversation ) goes sour you will have a awkward silence.

NEVER COMPLIMENT (IOI)PEOPLE WHEN YOU OPEN AND AT THE BEGINNING OF COMFORT ZONE--- > compliments will feed people until their ego is bigger then yours, you will be DLV'ed - you will likely end up like a low material nice guy.

NEVER BE NICE AND OVERDO IT--- > being too nice will enhance the suspicion of your target, they will think you want something. you dont want to be a nice guy you want to get laid, nice guys don't get laid because they become friends. you need attraction and attraction is created by DHV, giving compliments will DLV you ''why the f**k compliment a stranger ?'' if you getting compliments then your getting DHV. don't be needy , don't be a slimeball. be hard to get.

DONT RETURN A COMPLIMENT ( IOI) when you get one.
if you receive 3 IOI or compliments , return one. don't be a asshole taking all compliments but also don't be eager to give them. hard to get remember.
you don't want your target to feel like they are more special then you.

NEVER ADMIRE, OPEN , COMPLIMENT A WOMANS BEAUTY : she will instantly know your on to her, persue her personality instead. you can say things about fashion or other items but never make comments about beauty.
handsome bi*ches get 20 comments on one day : ''wow your cute'' ''wow your handsome '' every male is looking at them. be the male that doesnt care about looks , be different then the rest only then you will get attention.
saying to someone ''wow you are hot / you look good'' is the worse thing to do ( unless you are saying it to your sister, mom or wife ) woman will instantly raise their b*tch shields and want you to leave AKA rejected.
its even better to make fun and neg their beauty, you can say '' wow are these nails real ? wel... they still look good i guess'' their advantage is beauty -- > beauty is attention --- > attention is DHV
take away their beauty and they are easy picks.

NEVER LOWER YOURSELF, NEVER OVERDO , NEVER TAKE ENOUGH WITH GRANTED. get what you want and what you want to get, have a strong personality and identity. if you dont have one just lie or twist stories. if your not interesting in real life and not interesting at the pick up you want get shit done. you have to be more interesting then the girl, the girl must be thinking '' wow this guy has alot to offer ''
NOTE: if you lie at the pick up and the girl does become your girlfriend over an period of time, then sooner or later she will found out about the lies.

IF YOU GET REJECTED DON''t FEEL BAD ABOUT IT: sometimes people have bad days - no matter how nice you are. maybe her mother or brother died, maybe she lost her job , maybe she is sick. you don't know the reason why they reject so don't take it personally.
i once got rejected by a girl and 3 months later i kissed her- turned out her grandma died 3 months ago.

IF A GIRL SAYS SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND

1 she has one
2. she has one but is more interested to you
3. she wants you to think she got one to protect herself or want to get rid of you
in any way you telegraphed your intentions

1. she mentions it in the opener or at the beginning
you telegraphed , your to needy
2. mentions it in comfort zone
she just has one, or is more interested in someone else
3. mentions it in seduction zone
she want to cheat or is more interested in you.

o yeah and being Hard to get won't get u alot of sluts ..... people of low quality only chase people who are not hard to get.
low quality = low quality if you like low quality girls and are ok with it then who cares.
if your happy with that then its ok, being hard to get won't get u low quality easy to get girls actually mb when they are drunk and take all ur negs. don't neg low quality girls..... somtimes thats the best
when your beginning i actually recommend to get low quality material - easy to get - easy to befriend

but don't get in a relationship with girls thats are easy to get- il tell you that from experience. if a girl falls in love with you before you do - get laid and dump or just be friends. NEVER INDULGE yourself quickly.
especially if you start as PUA - DONT GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP, your learning process and skills will stagnate. Be immune for advances , immune for romantic approaches from girls. it always is funny how a girl falls in love with you and you slow it down - you don't talk to her for a week and when you meet her again she feels nothing. this will happen when it goes too quick
also sometimes i met a girl and a week later she had another guy , girls don't chase one guy because girls get chased by multiple guys.

competition is always there and fierce

always ask yourself the question - do i benefit at this ?
Low quality girls will have low quality relationships, do you want low quality relationship ? NO one wants
girls / woman with alot of beauty aren't suitable for a high quality relationship, they are men magnets they attract thousand men and eyes.....
get one that is sane, thats why i always try to know someone as good as possible
From the 50 girls that i approached i say only 1 or 2 were suitable for a relationship.

if you engage in an relationship and she turned out be a shitty person with a shitty past then leave no matter how much u love her.
girls are problems , there are no girls without problems - some girls just have less problems . the more you interact with girls -- > the more you invest or become invested -- > the larger problems.

if you want a relationship then go gaming on college , go gaming on birthday parties, go gaming on your work - there you can find your wife, you won't find your wife in a bar
if you want to get laid- then go to clubs, be active on the internet
if you want to game and PUA then be immune and hone your skills

o yeah i don't get picked up by female PUA .
when you meet one and you notice the protocols , neg the shit out of her

Hey dude,

just wanted to say thanks for writing this,

party on bro

Mr. E, I have a similar problem. When I get approached by girls FIRST when im not expecting it I start feeling unconfident and after the conversation is done I feel like shit. This is a huge sticking point for me.

Hey MJ,

I was on the plane coming over here to Engaland for a few weeks. I am a teacher and have brought a bunch of kids over so I have plenty of free time while they supposedly are learning English. We come from Spain.

SO, anyway, couldnt resist, little old me, sat next to this gorgeous chick on the plane and we were talking the whole two hours of the flight from Madrid to London. She was SO receptive and I was looking for ways to just talk to her forever and ever. I got her email and have sent one but she aint sent anything back but she is doing a course so .,..

but Jesus, I was getting major anxiety because she was so nice. I really have to work on escalting,.

Now I am here on campus and there is a Spanish group leader who also has some students here from Spain and many Spanish girls like to kino you but it doesn't mean much to them and yesterday she was telling me she was a strong girl so I was feeling her biceps. Anway, there is a couple of students who are always going arm and arm and the group leader decided to take a photo of her so she did and after little old me says, hey why don't they take a photo of us. They did but she felt a little embarrassed because it kinda meant we were together too. Which was my wicked intention.

anyway, before this post turns into the bible just to say that she is going to a gym these days so I am going to try going with her.
I just am afraid that she might have deposited me in the LJBF zone so if I make my move maybe she might be really shocked and I might feel awkward in the office....i will let youi know how it goes but my anxiety keeps bugging me all the time. it is something i will have to live with.. guess.

catch u later.
p.s i am still using the affirmations and they really do help.