making eye contact is still uncomfortable for me even though i force myself to do it.

When i'm speaking to someone, eye contact is really easy because my facial expression is natural as I talk and smile. When i'm *listening* to someone speak, though, i feel like i'm staring at someone with my face tensed up. I can't bring myself to smile without my face feeling really tense and almost twitching because the smile is clearly forced and fake(unless i'm truly smiling). So i feel like i'm just staring at someone with blank expression and dead eyes... so I look away to the left or right because i read it's bad to look down. Then after 3 seconds i'd look back into their eyes ...

What is the *exact* routine to maintain eye contact when you're listening to someone? Do you seriously just stare into someone's eyes while looking away every once in a while? I feel so creepy and unnatural. Especially if i smile and stare, that makes me even creepier so i'd rather just have a blank expression...

Btw.. i don't know how to do this appropaitely with either gender. Is there a specific way to make eye contact with a guy compared to a girl compared to a girl that i like?

the best thing to do is to react normally. for example when she says something like talking about her life just maintain eye contact no matter what and keep a straight face but if your having fun just smile and laugh but maintain eye contact. Never look down this is a turn off trust me. if your trying to remember something look up briefly then look back at her it may seem unnatural but with a lot of practice it will become second nature.

Eye contact is something you learn. Practice with your friends or your parents. No joke. Once you familiarize yourself with the feeling of being comfortable locking in eye contact, you can move on to the females you're interested in. If you need to look away, look at her mouth, down, then up. While doing this you're also creating a sexual SPAM. (Credit of this tip goes to Gambler). It's ok to look away every once in a while. Especially if something makes you laugh, or surprised.

But dude, number one tip. KEEP YOUR BRAIN FUNCTIONING. A lot of times when people aren't used to eye contact and they try it their brain goes dead because they're so concentrated on looking at their eyes. Keep your mind processing.

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One thing I find really effective that is slightly related to this. While a girl is talking to you, look away completely and unapologetically, literally turn around with your whole body and face another direction. Almost like you've just seen something more interesting than here, even just walk away a little bit and walk back like you're just curious to see what's going on near by.

This will feel really unnatural and rude the first few times you do it but give it a go, whenever I have tried this it results in the girl carrying on talking and usually becoming more interested or trying to maintain your attention (which is a good thing, she is then gaming you). it's never had a negative effect as you might expect it to.

Doing this turn away a couple of times will break up the eye contact a little too.

Synergy.

I like to pick a spot to stare at.

Or if you want her to lock eyes stare at one eye rather than trying to figure out how to gaze into both. You will look silly.

Also don't stare with a supreme thinkers face.

Key is to focus what she's saying and not what you're doing.

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Keep trying my friend. It took 20 to 30 years of your life learning not to give people eye contact, so it may take some years to learn how to give eye contact naturally. Best thing to do is continue practicing. Write a note on the back of your hand "Eye" or something like that. That way you won't forget. Write it on the back of your hand everyday until you always remember to give people eye contact. Hand notes helped me a lot when I started in the pick up world in 2005.
As the weeks, months, and years go by you will find yourself naturally giving eye contact without even thinking about it. People will find this eye contact inviting. They will like you better, and so will the women. And then you can learn how to give soft eye contact, which turns you into a Don Juan sort of character, even if you are ugly.
You can use all kinds of techniques with eye contact. Your eyes can be utilized like dance moves, just gotta practice it 'til it's real. Too bad their aren't eye contact classes.
I've known people to use powerful eye karate before. I had a stare-down with a smaller guy who was getting smart with me in a store one time. As we stared at each other, the guy did something weird with a subtle wink. He did it almost effortlessly. My male instincts told me, "This guy is some kind of magic man bad ass." I almost swallowed my Adam's Apple. Then he just stared at me. I thought I was going to get my ass kicked. I got nervous and left.
Yes, friends, eye contact can be used in innumerable ways and turn you into a powerful man.

Ha, I'm just messing bro. When I was a kid, I had issues with eye contact. Honestly, don't try to smile or anything unless it happens. Just look the person in the eyes.

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I can't believe how old this question is. But nevertheless, maybe someone is watching it and wants to know
the answer to it today.

I had the same feeling when I used to look at people talking to me. I used to feel awkward, uncomfortable
and as if I'm staring that person in the face with no expression.

But then I discovered that this all happens as a result of being in my head way too much while listening to
someone.

In essence, I was listening, but I wasn't really listening, I was in my head thinking about myself and getting
self-conscious.

So the first thing would be to LISTEN to what the other person is saying, and get involved in the conversation,
instead of being a passive observer of it.

The second thing that I learned had to do with the FEELING I want to be projecting. There is a certain face expression
that works on every person, that doesn't make the eye contact look weird.

And believe it or not, it is to look at the other person and to feel GRATEFUL for him being there with you.

I know it sounds ku-ku, but your face expression and eye contact kind of change when you look at the person
and you just feel grateful that they are talking with you.

You develop a softer gaze, a nicer face and a person feels better because of it.

So I hope these answers help, maybe not to the person who asked the question but maybe someone can connect
with the question and found this answer helpful.

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Since most people are left-brained (right-handed), focus on the girls' left eye. It's a subtle technique and it's not some super-ninja thing, but it does tend to cause them to get more into their head since you're stimulating their non-dominant side and it seems to cause them to become a bit more suggestible which, for girls, is something they like to have from a man.

I used to have a wing girl that would coach me on stuff. Mostly we were just friends, but whenever I wanted to try a PUA concept out, I'd start to game her and she'd allow it to go on for as long as it was fun. She was an HB8 or so and worked as a bartender, so she definitely knew how to flirt and game and she knew what worked on her. So we'd flirt or whatever and whenever I started to fail, she'd call me out on it and tell me to try again later. A few hours/days later (depending on what I was doing), I'd approach and try it again. Even though she knew I was gaming her, she would go along and then give me feedback as to the precise moment that I lost the interaction. She'd say stuff like, "Nope! You just looked away! I just lost interest. I think you're lying now." or "F*** You just touched me like a creeper! Try again later!" Over time it really helped me get smooth. And this eye contact thing was one of the best things she ever helped me develop.

Towards the end of my "wing girl" period with her (she moved away), she and I would be talking with our eyes completely locked onto each other, I'd shift over and start focusing on her left eye and she'd immediately start to smile and start talking about complete nonsense that didn't even make sense and she was loving it and grinning like an idiot. That's one of the things that actually got our relationship really close and tight... was the fact that we could just have these deep conversations about absolutely nothing and there was this intense sexual tension building too that we were just totally having fun with.

I'm not sure the left eye is so important though. I suspect part of the usefulness of this technique is that it gives you a single point of focus, rather than splitting your two eyes between hers and causing you to both get uncomfortably cross-eyed. Some folks say to look at something else, such as her nose or her forehead. But I figure that if you're going to do that, you might as well focus on an actual eye, since that's kind of where the attraction signals (dilated pupils, etc) are going to show. And since you're focusing on one eye at that point, it kind of makes sense to make it the left one, I guess.

Anyway, she was hot... but she had 2 kids and a boyfriend and so I kinda figured, better him than me. lol

A good rule of thumb I use is to hold eye contact 50% of the time when I am speaking and 70% of the time when I am listening. Good eye contact shows confidence and attracts attention when you are speaking and want people to listen and look at you. It's good to divide your attention when running group of sets and look at somebody a little more when they are not looking at you to grab their attention again.

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50% seems a bit low to me. If you're trying to demonstrate alpha male qualities, confidence, etc, then why not just wait for her be the one to look away? If she's uncomfortable, she can look down or whatever. You want to display that you are comfortable, so why would you do the same? At least, why would you do it any more than her? Or any more than necessary?

Now, I have had the experience of creepy eye contact. For whatever reason, I always associate this with a few religious convert types that I've met who've kind of creeped me out with their crazy wide open eyes. But if someone's holding a normal gaze on me, I don't think I've never felt any awkwardness that couldn't be resolved by simply looking away myself for a moment. But then, I realize that doing that is kind of passive behavior and I'd rather hold eye contact and push myself to become more comfortable with it, instead of being the one to lose the frame, so to speak.

The best thing for me to do is look in a girls eyes when talking then forget about looking in her eyes. That way i react naturally. I did this recently and i would glance at people walking past but i would always return to her eyes. By the time i was leaving i realized i had been looking at her lips.